Anything for you
by MystifyingButterfly
Summary: After the World Championships Kai meets Tala again and is confronted with his past. Tala and Kai had been like brothers once but what if there's something more? Something powerful and strong that always'd been there and is now sparkling up again?
1. Prologue

Hey there, guys. So this is my first story for Beyblade and Paaring is Tala/Kai. Kai's 17 and Tala's 18 while the rest of the Bladebreakers are 16, just so you know :)

Fine, first things first. I'm going to say this just once for the whole story because I'm sure you won't like to hear it every chapter again - I don't own Beyblade or any of the characters or the Evanescence songs or lyrics. BUT the story is mine so no copying and such, 'kay? I'm really not kind on people who try to sell the work of others as their own. Thus just read, enjoy and have fun! So much for that, I think everything of what I said just now is self-evident anyhow =3

And one thing - yes, this story had been published in German on animexxdotde and I wanted to translate it in English because I got a lot of positive feedback from the German readers. So I have all the rights, and I'm not stealing from anybody *laughs*

I'm NOT perfect with my English but I try to keep mistakes at a minimum. If you still find some you can either keep them or point them out for me but please with a correction advice if its not a typing error. I'm trying hard to write as well as possible gramatically, but like said, I'm not perfect (sadly~)

As for the indications and stuff

"..." - someone speaks

- ..._italic_...- someone thinks

'...' - thoughts within a flashback (since flashbacks are also in italic)

(...) - Translation. There won't be much of it, just pieces then and there.

* * *

**Anything for you**

**Prologue**

I'd give anything to give me to you  
Can you forget the world that you thought you knew  
If you want me  
Come and find me  
Nothing's stopping you so please release me

I'll believe  
All your lies  
Just pretend you love me  
Make believe  
Close your eyes  
I'll be anything for you

Nothing left to make me feel anymore  
There's only you and everyday I need more  
If you want me  
Come and find me  
I'll do anything you say just tell me

I'll believe  
All your lies  
Just pretend you love me  
Make believe  
Close your eyes  
I'll be anything for you

Anything for you  
I'll become your earth and sky  
Forever never die  
I'll be everything you need

I'll believe  
All your lies  
Just pretend you love me  
Make believe  
Close your eyes  
I'll be anything for you

* * *

The World Championships had ended. It'd been easy, at least it was what Kai thought. Of course the Bladebreakers had won and of course that had been thanks to his hard drill. Well, they all were gifted Bladers and although he didn't like it, he had to give his team that. But since this one Championship, something had changed.

It had happened the moment he had seen _him_ again. One of the very few human beings who Kai had ever missed in his entire life. He would never be able to see his parents another time, and his grandfather was a power-obsessed monster. But _he_... He'd been Kai's friend since the age of seven, and that quite a long time considering he was 17 now. When he'd seen _him_, his heart had started to ponder wildly, almost painfully. It'd been so long...

"Tala..." He sighed quietly. So many memories...

"Hey! Kai!" The knocking at his room door made him jump slightly. It was Tyson, who burst into the room a moment later without having waited for the usual 'Come in!' or in Kai's case 'What the hell do you want?' which would signal a permission to enter. His brown eyes shone with joy over their recent victory, a bright grin plastered in his face.

Kai just grumbled, staying put in his bed, arms crossed under his head atop the pillow and eyes closed as a sign for complete lack of interest but it didn't seem to bother or offend the younger blader whatsoever. He was used to such behaviour from their team captain and he knew very well whom they had to thank for their victory in the Championships. It had been pretty harsh but nonetheless it had been Kais training that got them as far.

"Oh, Kai, come on! Don't be a party pooper and come down. After all, we _do_ have something to celebrate." The blue-haired boy walked up to the bed and hovered over the team captain whose face seemed frozen in a mask of indifference.

_Good for you, but I don't feel like celebrating._ Kai thought and let out a low, warning growl.

"I swear, if I didn't know better, I'd say you're a dog!" Tyson laughed and backed off as Kai's eyes opened abruptly to piece him with a sharp gaze that send an involuntary shiver down his spine. Didn't look like the other was in the mood for any joking... Then again, whenever was he?

"What did you call me?" Kai hissed, ruby-red eyes flaming up with authentic anger - A pretty intimidating image, if you asked Tyson.

"Whoa, that honestly hadn't been an insult! I just meant you sound like a dog 'cause you're always growling, you know..." He tried to explain himself, futilely, and fled the room upon seeing Kai make attempts to stand up while looking like he might have thrown the next best object at him.

"Moron!" Kai accused his team-mate quietly and sank back into the covers. Of course he knew the younger boy hadn't intended to irk him or piss him off with what he'd said, Kai had simply wanted to get rid of him quickly so that he could have back his peace and return to his musings. Those memories didn't let him wait for long before re-emerging in front of his inner eye.

_He saw Tala's familiar figure in the long hallway, marching towards him on its way to the Beyarena. The redhead came to halt some distance away from him, his ice-blue orbs giving Kai an aloof look-over. Those eyes... they pulled him in right away. Mysterious, cold and hard in their scrutiny of him, they still had a unique beauty to them. He'd once seen those eyes unguarded and warm as well, and they had been even more captivating. But now they stared at him impassively, emotionless... and that hurt._

_"Tala..." He spoke quietly, oddly pleased to be able to pronounce the dear name again. Yet his voice, nonchalant and sharp, did not show any of that joy._

_"Kai." The redhead returned the standoffish... greeting if you desired to call it that, sounding not less nonchalant yet the intonation of his voice was much sharper._

_"__Давно __не__ виделись__." (Long time no see.) Kai continued in their native language; he'd missed this somehow... being able to use it. He was proficient in Japanese as much as he was in Russian, still he was thankful for any opportunity to speak his mother tongue if one presented itself._

_"__Ты__ прав__." (You're right.) Tala replied dryly. He looked like he was about to add something but remained silent. _

_Then, they just looked at each other for a while. They hadn't seen each other in ages and who knew, maybe Tala had missed him, too... Kai would wish for that... very much so. But he saw no emotions in the reserved, icy sapphires, Tala's expression stony and unreadable. In fact though, that expression was not much different from Kai's own. To anybody else they would easily look like two strangers who happened to stare at each other for some inexplicable reason. _

_But it was so much more... Looking at Tala Kai was barely able to keep up his façade. He wanted to tell him so much. That he lacked him. That he had missed him. That he missed the time with him. That he..._

_Crimson eyes watched blankly how the older teen looked away and moved to proceed in his way to the Beystadium, seemingly having had enough of this wordless stare contest. As Tala was passing him, Kai felt an almost unbearable need to grab his arm and stop him. Touch him. Show the other, somehow, that this encounter wasn't meaningless to Kai. Show him that Tala himself wasn't meaningless to him. Yet he just stood there, leaned against the wall, motionless, his cold mask maintained and perfect while his mind screamed... screamed so loudly, he could barely bear it. 'Stop him! Stop him! Don't let him go just like that! Please...' _

_Tala walked away, Kai following that retreating back with his gaze until the redhead's silhouette was out of his vision. What was left was remorse... he regretted it so much. He should have said something. More that just "Long time no see." More that just the name. More... more... 'Damn it! Tala... if told you how very sorry I am... would you forgive me?'_

That little question, echoed in his head ten times over. _Would you?_ Kai turned onto his side and stared at the wall, not really seeing anything. Before his eyes stood Tala's image, so clear that, should he have had a pencil at hand, he would have been able to draw it. Every single detail.

_This isn't leading me anywhere. Maybe I should really go down and play celebration party with that kindergarten group... Tala... I hope... I wish... Ah, what use is it to wish for something? That's__ never been of any good..._

With that in mind, Kai got up and went downstairs. He needed to distract himself. Somehow. The thoughts about Tala made him restless and sad and... they hurt. Pretty damn much.

* * *

Oh, translation, right.

"Давно не виделись" - spoken -Daw'no ne widelis'- translated - Long time no see.

"Ты прав." - spoken - Ti' praw - and translated - You're right.

Hope I'm any good as a language teacher xD

About the Championships, don't ask me which one exactly I mean. But well, it's not really important for the story, anyway. It's definitely the season of Beyblade where Kai had beautiful crimson and Tala wonderful blue for eye colour. If I'm not mistaken, it was the last season.

Uff, much information you have to handle here but from my experience as a writer readers actually don't mind information as long as its important for the story. I just want to avoid as much confusion as possible, knowing which questions could probably arise after reading this prologue of mine. If you still got any - don't be afraid to ask, you can be sure I'll answer ^_^

Okay then. I'll be very grateful for reviews so if you read it and you like it, drop me one.

Thanks for reading and until the next chapter!

Kate

* * *

POSTUPDATE NOTE: This entire fiction is currently being FINE-BRUSHED. I'm re-uploading the improved chapters' contents before I'll be proceeding with the updates, but to the greater extent I'm leaving the author's notes as they were.


	2. Field of Innocence

Hallo there, guys. Me again. Thank you very much for the reviews, they always keep me going. So here's the first chapter of the fic, hope you'll enjoy reading =3

* * *

**Chapter 1**

**"Field Of Innocence"**

I still remember the world  
From the eyes of a child  
Slowly those feelings  
Were clouded by what I know now

Where has my heart gone  
An uneven trade for the real world  
Oh I... I want to go back to  
Believing in everything and knowing nothing at all

I still remember the sun  
Always warm on my back  
Somehow it seems colder now

Where has my heart gone  
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger  
Oh I... I want to go back to  
Believing in everything

Where has my heart gone  
An uneven trade for the real world  
Oh I... I want to go back to  
Believing in everything  
Oh, Where

Where has my heart gone  
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger  
Oh I... I want to go back to  
Believing in everything

I still remember.

* * *

"Damn it, Tala, watch out, would you?" Bryan glared at his team captain since the other seemed to be distracted enough not to notice his team-mate coming to a halt near the hotel entrance in order to pull open the door. Well, not up to the point where he'd run into him, that was.

"Sorry, buddy. I zoned out a bit." Was Tala's response, earning him a suspicious look. It wasn't often that you heard him actually apologize for something, no matter if it was his fault or not.

"But that doesn't mean your lazy ass can continue standing in my way! I ain't got all day, so move it!" the redhead snapped and Bryan shook his head, his mistrust forgotten. No, Tala was definitely perfectly normal. Thus he hurried to overstep the threshold to not annoy the eighteen-year-old any further.

After the Championships ended the team had decided to stay in Tokyo for a couple of days more and rest up a bit. The hard training and the tournament had drained on their strength, although a particular blue-eyed Someone would rather jump out of the window than admit to it. Mentioned Someone instantly disappeared upstairs, leaving the baggage and the check-in to his team mates.

_What a fucked__ up day. I swear I could have chocked somebody!_ Enraged, Tala slammed the door to his hotel room shut with a loud bang. The reason for his fury was simple. They'd lost and against whom? Against the Bladebreakers! Against Kai...

"Будь проклят, Хиватари!" (Curse you, Hiwatari!) He cussed and flopped onto the bed, desperately trying to glare a hole into the ceiling. His ice-hued orbs mirrored rage and disappointment but also, shame. He had disgraced himself... in front of Kai... Lost against that good-for-nothing Tyson. Plain logically it actually had to be Tyson who he should be mad at and who he should curse out, but in Tala's situation, there was no space for logic because the feelings were what reigned there.

Right, feelings. The thing he had been taught not to show, from an early age on. But not showing them didn't mean ha wasn't feeling them still. This tugging deep within, the weird insecurity every time he looked into those pools of fiery red. Those haunting eyes.

Ever since Kai had left the team Tala couldn't stop feeling that... void. Missing something; something that he couldn't describe or even grasp properly. The surety of having a trusted person nearby, was gone. Like a small, black hole that kept getting bigger; growing larger and... scarier. Threatening to swallow him up whole. Yet he had never perceived the existence of that black hole as intense as he'd done yesterday, facing Kai.

_Do you still think of me, Kai? Don't you miss something? Like I do?_ He asked himself and his gaze softened, the anger diffusing into sadness and solitude. He felt alone, akin to how he'd felt before Kai had appeared in his life. Sure, he had his team but no one understood him and his personality like Kai did. They had been like brothers once. He had been so important to him. Wasn't he still? A question Tala had so very often tried to find an answer to. Was Kai still as important to him? Did he even care? His thoughts spun back, back to that fateful encounter that had triggered all of this dilemma.

_"Tala..." The voice of his former team mate caused him to shudder inwardly. It was so familiar. Ten years it'd been..._

_"Kai." He heard himself speak but he didn't really realize it. His eyes, deceptively hard and cold in their stare, couldn't stop looking into those crimson seas. _

_"__Давно__ не __виделись__." (Long time no see.) Kai continued and Tala almost chuckled. Looked like someone was missing his mother tongue. He could understand that – Kai likely did no longer have anyone he could exchange some words in Russian with. _

_"__Ты__ прав__." (You're right.) He perceived his lips forming an aloof reply. 'Say something more. Ask him something. Anything.' His heart urged him but his mind refused to produce a single word more. _

_They remained silent, just looking at each other and Tala searched... searched those reflective pools of crimson for something. He wasn't really sure what he wanted to see but it surely was not that impassive mask. He wanted to find in those eyes... something, anything, a sparkle of an emotion, a small reassurance that Kai still felt for him in some way. Something jabbed very painful into his chest from the inside, almost forcing him to scream out. Something hidden but powerful and strong, and he realized he could stay here no longer. Could no longer look into those eyes which were so familiar, even with the look of indifference in them. He couldn't stay any longer because his composure and steadfastness were crumbling. His feelings, some of which he could neither recognize nor put a finger on, were about to break out of their cage. _

_He averted his eyes, trying to get a hold of his thoughts and emotions and started to walk away. 'Just don't stop walking. You hear? Don't stop...' He thought frantically when he was passing by the younger teen. For a brief moment he felt the mild warmth of the other's body and the faint smell of fire and flames. Familiar and yet unreachable. Forcing himself not to cast a look to his side he almost regretted having walked past Kai so quickly. He felt the calm gaze on his back, and it kindled a flicker of hope. Could it be that Kai still felt something in regard to him, to them? 'No. Don't feed these stupid hopes to yourself again. That's never been of any good.' With that he exited the hallway, and was out of Kai's field of vision._

"Tala? Tala, man, are you deaf in there or what?" The irritating voice of Spencer interrupted his trail of thoughts and he growled disapprovingly.

"What the hell do you want?" He yelled back and Spencer, knowing this was some sort of a 'Come in!', entered the room.

"I hope for you that it's something damn important!" Tala gritted out. He was in a bad mood, in a very bad mood to be precise, and at the moment he wanted nothing but to be alone. Too bad his comrades always picked exactly such unlucky moments to show up. He wished he could react as calm and cold as Kai always did, but Kai was Kai, and he was himself.

"Voltaire wants to speak you. The telephone's in the lobby."

"I know where the fucking thing is!" Was the snappy reply and Spencer hurried to get out of the lion's den.

Voltaire? What did that guy want again? _Please don't let it be one of those hideous missions. _Tala hated it when Voltaire demanded something to be done that required deceitful and dirty tricks to be accomplished. The stealing of Bitbeasts, for example. Often enough, he secretly wished it all would change someday. He wanted to be free, decide for himself. He didn't want to execute orders anymore, but unfortunately it was all he was good for. He didn't even know where he should go or what he should do if he someday received that mythical freedom that he dreamt of. He didn't have any family, nor friends he could turn to.

_Kai. _The once dear name popping up abruptly in his head, forced him to come to a halt in the corridor. No, Kai wasn't a friend anymore. He had left him, abandoned him... he had other friends now... Unwittingly, Tala clenched his hands and his heart started to pace, driven by anger. His iceblue eyes stared onto the carpet not really seeing anything, crystal fire blazing in them. This wasn't fair. _Why, Kai? I want to know. I want to understand. _Tala shook his head and tried to shove the thoughts away. He had a phone call waiting for him.

Downstairs in the lobby, he picked up the handset.

"Ivanov." He said calmly and coldly.

°Damn it, what took you so long?° An angry voice asked him from the other end of the line.

"I am sorry." And it didn't sound the least bit convincing, not that it should have anyway.

°I was informed you lost the championships?°

Tala shuddered slightly because of that sneering inflection; equally threatening and cynical.

"Yes, Sir." A quiet response.

°Why?°

Oh, this was something Tala would like to know, too. He couldn't understand – he'd given it everything he had. Both Wolborg and he had gone up to theirs limits, yet Tyson had remained superior. The rage crept back into his soul but this time it was directed at himself. Why had he been so weak? Or was it Tyson who had become so much stronger? With Kai's help, maybe?

°Tala! Answer me, goddammit!° The yelling piercing into his ear from the telephone speaker startled the young Wolf out of his thoughts.

"I don't know, Sir." He replied honestly.

°Well, well, you don't know, you say? I'll tell you why – you're weak! I have expected much more from you, Tala. It looks like you'll never be as good as Kai. I vastly overestimated you, it seems.° Voltaire sighed in mock resignation, and didn't fail to trigger the desired reaction. The bastard knew Tala's sorest spots to hit.

"Let me prove you wrong, then. I'll beat Tyson, and if it's the last goddamn thing I'd do!" The Wolf hissed sharply. How dared that imbecile call him a weakling? Tala was anything but, and he would prove it. He would challenge and defeat Tyson, once and for all. He wouldn't live with the stigma of a loser. Never.

°I hope so, Tala, for your own sake. Defeat that little, insignificant boy and show me that you're worth it to stay under my charge. That you are worth being a part of this team. Do not fail another time, Tala.° With that said Voltaire hung up.

Tala stared at the black plastic in his hand, holding it so tightly his knuckles stood out white. The emotional chaos inside him raged on, and he longed for just once thing – revenge.

* * *

Well, chapter 2 is in work so you probably won't have to wait long for it to be updated. Reviews are always appreciated, just tell me what you think about the story, what you like or don't like and if it is interesting so far.

Right, translation.

"Будь проклят, Хиватари!" - spoken- "bud' prokl'jat Hiwatari" - translated - "Curse you, Hiwatari".

Thanks once again to all who reviewed the prologue *huggies* Hope you liked this chapter just as much :)

So till the next one, then

Kate


	3. Lose control

Hey there, everyone :)

Once again, thank you very much for your reviews, I'm trying to update as quickly as possible so you don't have to wait too long. I'm so happy you like the story, TaKa is my favourite paaring as well, I just love them both x)

Unfortunately, I still don't own them *sighs* Well, here's chapter two then. Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 2**

**"Lose Control"**

You don't remember my name.  
I don't really care.  
Can we play the game your way?  
Can I really lose control?

Just once in my life,  
I think it'd be nice,  
Just to lose control, just once,  
With all the pretty flowers in the dust.

Mary had a lamb.  
His eyes black as coals.  
If we play very quiet, my lamb,  
Mary never has to know.

Just once in my life,  
I think it'd be nice,  
Just to lose control, just once.

If I cut you down to a thing I can use,  
I fear there will be nothing good left of you.

* * *

"For God's sake, haven't we won the championship? Why do we have to train?" Tyson complained quietly to Max. He didn't want for Kai to hear him – the young Russian hated it if someone complained about the training and it had cost Tyson a lot of extra laps around the training fields before he finally understood that.

"Well, you know how he is. We're never good enough, at least not until one of us beats him." Max whispered back as their team walked along the promenade to the bey arenas.

Since the last time he'd defeated him, the taciturn Russian appeared to have become so much stronger. The owner of Dragoon couldn't beat Kai in any single match anymore although he surely tried it numerous times per training session. It seemed the team captain was unreachable in his strength and superiority, which confused and enraged the blue-haired blader. He had defeated him before, several times even. But now... had he really missed so much in Kai's development? How did that happen? Would he ever be able to defeat the Phoenix again?

Thinking like that got Tyson's determination and bellicosity flaring again. The spirit and will to try it one more time; he surely wasn't someone who gave up that easily. Thus, he was really looking forward to the training now. He had defeated Tala and he knew it had been a very narrow victory. The red-haired Russian almost had him when Wolborg had put out that final attack, and it was solely thanks to the evade technique Kai had taught them that he'd been able to dodge the fatal blow.

Kai felt an intense gaze on his back as he walked in lead of the others, wondering who might be staring at him. Not that he cared, his thoughts were focused on Tala. Those blue eyes had haunted his dreams last night. They had been expressionless, cold and unpredictable. Typical for Tala when he was enraged. He always hid his anger skilfully, but Kai knew that the expression of indifference was just a front to mask Tala's true emotions, which Kai on his part was usually able to _un_mask rather well. Why shouldn't he, really, where he himself acted not that much different.

They had a lot in common, Tala and he. But in the same breath, they were as dissimilar as every single human being was from another. Kai knew well that controlling his temper was hard for Tala, as hard as it was easy for Kai to ignore everything and everyone no matter how much he cared. Kai could keep his emotions, his negative emotions, under control a lot better than the redhead could. He guessed he had to thank his grandfather for that. _I hate him._ It rushed immediately through his head. He despised his grandfather, the man had been the very reason Kai had decided to stay with the Bladebreakers even despite being perfectly aware of what it would do to his best friend. Tala...

"Ah!"

His thoughts were interrupted by a startled scream coming from Max who was now sitting on the ground, staring perplexedly at the snow-white Beyblade which spun on the ground mere inches away from him.

Kai would recognize that Blade anywhere. As he would its owner. Barely after having thought that, his eyes crossed two ice-blue crystals which stared at him piercingly. A blizzard was raging inside those eyes, one that sent a shiver even down Kai's back. Something was terribly wrong with Tala. Kai had rarely ever seen him like this – only when the other was close to losing control. Something must have happened and Kai realized he was worried. He still cared about the older teen, no matter how hard he tried to deny it. He wanted to know what had upset Tala quite this much.

Mentioned person caught his Blade, never taking his eyes off Kai. He had seen it, the small sparkle of worry but his infuriated, hurt soul didn't take any notice of it. He wanted revenge. Voltaire's words still cut into his mind like razorblades and reminded him of how badly he had failed. The only thing he had left, the only thing that was still completely his and that he valued most, was about to be taken from him. He owned nothing in this world besides his pride and his dignity. He had never allowed himself to lose either of it, perfectly aware that without them he would be nothing but a pitiful shadow of his self.

Kai's gaze wavered, briefly showing insecurity as he recognized the pain in Tala's eyes, that small flicker of despair that was instantly smothered down by a cold blizzard. He understood that deep down inside Tala was offended but he couldn't grasp the reason for it. He would very much like to know what was going on in the Wolf's head right now, but unfortunately, he did not posses the skill of mind reading. No matter how good he knew his old team mate, he couldn't read him. Tala had never been an open book, not even for him. He was a mystery with lots of nicks and edges, same nicks and edges Kai valued and respected him for.

"Hey, are you crazy? What the hell was that about?" Tyson spoke up instantly and Tala's cold stare drilled into the person who made him feel like the most pathetic loser on earth. Damn it, he knew it, deep down inside he knew he was better than most Bladers would ever be and that many of them feared and admired him. But he had never learned to accept defeats. It was always either win or die in shame, to lose and continue on was not an option for him. Not anymore.

Tyson had to steady himself to not back away. Normally he wouldn't let anyone or anything intimidate him, but Tala's gaze held something to it that had a frosty chill rolling down his spine. Involuntary his hand clutched the blade in the pocket of his jeans, making the pointy edges stab into the skin.

"I want a revenge match, Tyson." The redhead declared quietly, but clearly and decisively. His voice had something dark and menacing to it, something indefinable that Tyson did not know to designate.

In a smooth motion, Tala connected his blade and starter, feeling expert, attentive eyes on him. He knew without turning around who the gaze belonged to. Kai... _Watch me, Kai. I will defeat him and prove to you and to Voltaire that I'm worthy of you. Watch closely..._

"Fine. If you really want it!" The young Dragon performed the same action with his own blade, as confident as ever.

"Tyson, you sure you want to do this?" Ray's amber eyes watched the whole thing rather anxiously. Tala looked more set than ever, as well as much more threatening than at the tournament.

"I'm no coward, Ray. He can have his revenge match, if he really is that keen on losing yet again." That said Tyson launched his blade concurrently with Tala. The Blades circled on the ground some distance away from each other, as though wanting to introduce themselves to one another first.

"I didn't think you'd be so much of a sore loser, Tala. Go, Dragoon, show'im his place!" Tyson shouted and Dragoon charged onward.

Kai's eyes blazed up in sync with Tala's. _Don't get too cocky, Tyson. _He thought worriedly and furiously alike. Tala might have lost that one battle but it still didn't give the idiot the right to mouth off like that, or to get too careless. Simultaneously, he felt his protective instinct rise. Tala was still his friend, he was not really tolerating somebody offending him, and he could tell that Tala was well beyond offended by now. Concern settled on his features as he looked over to the older Russian, seeing what he'd feared he'd see. With his pride assaulted like that, Tala was about to go all out, death-or-glory, in this.

"Wolborg, rend him apart." Tala gritted through clenched teeth. This was it. Now there was no turning back anymore, there was only one sole option – to win. No matter at what cost. All emotions got pushed into the background of his mind, he felt his control slipping away. He would not stop. Not anymore, not now. Tyson's words had hurt, but he refused to admit it. He hid the pain deep inside his soul, like always, and replaced it with rage and doggedness. He wouldn't allow such things being said about him.

The two Blades collided, sending sparkles flying in every direction. The huge amount of power released provided small thunderbolts which shot around the Beyblades, small pieces of plastic crumbling and melting instantly as the frictional electricity rose higher.

"Dragoon!" Tyson called forth his Bitbeast and the mighty dragon appeared above the Blade. The golden eyes of the Beast lightened up with the pugnacity of his master and it let out a roar.

"Wolborg!" Tala's order followed forthwith, the snow-wolf arising in biting white light, letting out a rumbling growl. It's normally dark-golden eyes re-coloured into blood-red as it absorbed its master's fury that flowed into it, almost welling over.

Tala's hands clutched into fists abruptly, fingernails digging into the skin and cutting it. His consciousness now existed only in mere pieces which no longer made a whole. The jabbing of his affronted dignity and his hurt pride grew into dimensions he'd never experienced before, even he himself got scared of it. However, it was too late to stop - he couldn't and he didn't want to. He wouldn't let himself be humiliated again; he wouldn't disgrace himself in front of everyone, in front of Kai, another time. What maybe seemed a simple revenge match to Tyson was a life and death fight for Tala. Losing it would mean the end for him, he hadn't been taught otherwise. Something else stood out of question, was not a choice, not a possibility.

Kai winced inwardly, taking a sharp breath as he watched his friend. That body was taut like a bowstring and under the curled up fingers blood was seeping out, droplets of scarlet hitting the ground. Baring his fangs, Tala resembled his Bitbeast more than ever. A shuddering, blistering feeling crept up to Kai's heart which shrunk painfully as the undisclosed emotion reached and squashed it. _Tala... What are you doing? Stop..._ It cost him hell not to rush over to his friend's side and shake him awake from that dangerous trance he seemed to have fallen into.

The snow-white Blade started spinning madly, excavating the ground underneath it, rotating forward and hitting Dragoon with devastating power sending splinters of plastic flying about. A piece swished past Tyson, scratching his cheek. _What is he doing? Has he gone completely nuts now?_, the blue-haired teen thought with a hint of panic as the snow-wolf rammed Dragoon head on, causing cracks to run down the plating of the Bitbeast. The dragon squalled, thrown back by the incredible power of his wolfish adversary.

"I'm going to beat you! Dragoon, come on!" Tyson yelled out and his blade dashed forward, rebounding from Tala's like water from a mighty rock. Dragoon's claw struck with great strength at Wolborg's muzzle, yet the wolf only shook its head, not the slightest disturbed in its stance. The energy and power of its master were giving it unbelievable strength, and Dragoon's blows felt like mere slaps.

What was of a great advantage for his Bitbeast, was not less of an immense danger for Tala. He perceived how his muscles contracted painfully and how his heart doubled its beating rhythm. Blood was rushing in his ears and his vision was getting more and more blurry. He felt the energy being sucked from him and passed over to his Bitbeast, giving Wolborg the incredible boost to its power. He was far beyond the point of caring about the fact that, if he continued like this, it would eventually cost him his life. It simply didn't matter anymore; the rational site of his consciousness had already departed from him. Now there were only the rage and the pride holding possession of him, mixed up with despair of being trapped between a rock and a hard place. Win or die, he simply did not have another way out. Somewhere, subliminally, he wished there would be another possibility, but none existed. It had never existed. Not for him.

"Tala..." _...don't.._. Kai started to tremble slightly from the tension conquering him, watching the pupils of those iceblue orbs become smaller, disappearing almost completely. _He's losing control..._ A frantic notion shooting through his head, but his body didn't support him in his intention to try and stop Tala somehow. He stood there as though rooted to the spot, eyes widely open, and watched. His heart froze with the realization of how this match could end – bad. Really bad.

"Dragoon! Give it everything you've got!" Tyson seemed oblivious to all of that, the mettle to win burning inside him with a powerful flame. If he defeated Tala, now where the other was this strong, there was a real chance that he could beat Kai, too. He would prove to his team captain that he could do it, that he was strong enough and a worthy challenger.

Dragoon felt the surge of energy from the fervour of its master; with a roar it slashed its tail at Wolborg and this time the wolf lost balance and tumbled. Tala's Blade started to topple, its edge cutting into the ground and whirling up the dust. _No! I cannot lose!_ Abruptly then, it began spinning even faster, the muscles of the snow-wolf bulging and growing, making it look twice its original size. Simultaneously to the howl of his Bitbeast, Tala let out an enraged as well as pain-filled scream, his last reminding energy reserves transferring to Wolborg. He fell to his knees, his eyes a stark ice blue, body tensed so much it seemed almost petrified. Blood didn't drop anymore, it trickled in tiny rivulets through his fingers which still dug deeper and deeper into his palms.

"Quit it, the two of you! Tyson! Stop!" But Ray's words of beseech went unheard.

Benumbed with fear Tyson stared up at the huge monster in front of him while it bared its razor-sharp fangs and launched at Dragoon, mercilessly throwing the serpentine creature to the ground, paws stemmed into the chest of the dragon and jaws locked dead around its throat. The snow-white Blade rammed Tyson's own with so much force that it shattered like a glass sphere, leaving the Bitchip sailing to the ground surrounded by a cloud of tiny splinters. Dragoon disappeared and a short amount of time later Wolborg did as well. Tala's Blade rotated in its axis one more time, and tipped to the side.

Kai watched the whole scene like a dream, what was happening right there seemed so surreal. He heard the quiet chink as Tala's Blade hit the ground and jerked his head up to face his friend.

_I made it..._ That thought running through his head, he didn't feel any emotion stem from it. No joy, no happiness, no contentment. He had fulfilled a duty; he had won. He associated nothing with it, it didn't mean anything to him. He had proven to himself and to others that he could do it. But... why didn't it mean anything to him? Nothing at all. _God... damn... it... _His eyes fell shut slowly as the ground appeared to be slipping away from underneath him. Every muscle, every sinew, every nerve in his body ached horribly, even thinking seemed to hurt. Tired... he was so damn tired... His body swayed dangerously and he started falling over.

"Tala!" He heard someone's swift footsteps and soon that someone was by his side, catching him, keeping him from hitting the ground face first. The fragrance of fire, and flames.._. Kai._

"Kai..." he whispered barely audibly.

"You're such a damn idiot, Tala..." The kneeling Phoenix whispered back, supporting the debilitated body of his friend, an arm across the front of his chest so the redhead wouldn't topple over, keeping the other slung around his shoulders, pressing Tala closer to the own body. It was really hard for him not to start yelling at the older teen, or read him the riot act for this careless action, just to vent off all the fear that rippled in agitating waves all throughout him. But he gritted his teeth together and shook his head slightly to push down the fume and the dread blended in with relief about the hazardous battle having found its end.

Tala managed a faint smile before a coughing fit wrecked his body, forcing him to bend over, spitting out blood. Fuck, that hurt...

"Shit!" Kai cussed quietly, finding himself momentarily helpless although always being the one who knew a way out of every situation. The fear that surged up, began turning into panic as he thought that Tala could die, right now and right here, in his very arms. _No! No, dammit! I won't allow that! _The treacherous, long-forgotten stinging in his eyes, the despair, made him realize something very clearly. It made him realize how much Tala still meant to him. Pretty damn much...

"Прости меня..." (Forgive me.) Tala uttered with the last remaining bit of strength before the exhaustion and the pain took over and everything around him elapsed into the black oblivion of unconsciousness.

* * *

I hope none of you dislikes Tyson too much... because he's going to play a part in the story =3 And yeah, I know - cliffhanger. But no worries, next chapter's already in work.

A big thank you to all who reviewed the last chapter, it really means a lot to me. Looks like I actually am a bit of a decent writer XD But I hope this arsehole who's spamming at ffnet right now stops with the shit... It really is annoying.

Hm, translating:

"Прости меня..." –spoken- "Prost'i men'ja" –translated- "Forgive me."

And I hope I didn't screw up too bad with the beybattle. Not really good at such kind of things... hehe...

Well then, unti the next chapter then!

Kate


	4. All that I'm living for

So, here's another chapter =3 Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last one, I really am glad you like the story!

Oh, and don't worry, the paaring ist KaixTala and it won't change. Tala's not going to die, either :) And no, no kissing between Kai and Tyson *laughs* I do like TyKa Fics but this isn't going to be one.

No! Don't stop typing! XD Long reviews are great. That's what I think, anyway. You can put anything you like into the review - questions, criticism, praise and everything else you can think of. I'm always happy and thankful for honest opinions.

Well, here's the next chapter - read, enjoy and review :)

* * *

**Chapter 3**

**"All That I'm Living For"**

All that I'm living for,  
All that I'm dying for,  
All that I can't ignore alone at night.

I can feel the night beginning.  
Separate me from the living.  
Understanding me,  
After all I've seen.  
Piecing every thought together,  
Find the words to make me better.  
If I only knew how to pull myself apart.

All that I'm living for,  
All that I'm dying for,  
All that I can't ignore alone at night.  
All that I'm wanted for,  
Although I wanted more.  
Lock the last open door, my ghosts are gaining on me.

I believe that dreams are sacred.  
Take my darkest fears and play them  
Like a lullaby,  
Like a reason why,  
Like a play of my obsessions,  
Make me understand the lesson,  
So I'll find myself,  
So I won't be lost again.

All that I'm living for,  
All that I'm dying for,  
All that I can't ignore alone at night.  
All that I'm wanted for,  
Although I wanted more.  
Lock the last open door, my ghosts are gaining on me.

Guess I thought I'd have to change the world to make you see me,  
To be the one.  
I could have run forever,  
But how far would I have come  
Without mourning your love?

All that I'm living for,  
All that I'm dying for,  
All that I can't ignore alone at night.  
All that I'm wanted for,  
Although I wanted more.  
Lock the last open door, my ghosts are gaining on me.

Should it hurt to love you?  
Should I feel like I do?  
Should I lock the last open door,  
My ghosts are gaining on me.

* * *

Leaves. He was counting leaves. One leaf, two leaves, three leaves... A yellow one, a red one, a green one. Countless leaves which were being picked off the trees by the constantly colder growing autumn wind, laid out into a multi-coloured carpet on the streets and avenues. The sky was grey, clouds obscured the sunrays from reaching the earth and immersed everything into something suppressing, dark, cold.

Maybe it was just his mood that made everything seem so dismal. That was why he counted leaves. Just minutes before he had been plagued by thoughts, dark thoughts, painful thoughts. He had been standing by this window in his hotel room for hours, staring at the falling leaves. But still the pictures of the battle between Tala and Tyson were replaying mercilessly in his head, over and over and over. To distance himself from them he shook his head, but the pictures crept up again, like little pests, even livelier than before.

_"Прости меня..." (Forgive me.)_

Kai didn't understand. Why had he asked for forgiveness? He would pose that question to him, but...

_Shit. _He squeezed his eyes shut, up to the point of pain, when they started to sting treacherously. He had been strong so many times. At the worst moments, he always managed to stay the cool, unaffected Kai, admired by so many for that skill. But now... Now he began to comprehend how damn important Tala was to him. How much he had meant to him, and still did. Actually... Tala was the only one who had ever meant something to him. The only piece of trust and family he had left. He had managed to suppress, almost forget that but it came back, so sudden and crushing that it nearly squashed him. The whole bundle of emotions he had kept under lock and key had broken out and now those feelings strayed inside him aimlessly. Tala...

He forced himself to avert his gaze from the window and turn around. His friend lay on the bed, thoughtfully covered up. He was pale, but he was alive. Barely. After he'd collapsed, Kai had ministered to him. He knew no one else would care about Tala. Neither his team nor Voltaire. He didn't have any family, no one. Except Kai...

This thought pierced like a knife through the heart of the silver-blue-haired teen. He closed his eyes, trying to steady himself. His breathing quivered as he fought against the despair and powerlessness. He would give anything if he only could help Tala somehow. Take his pain away. Erase his sadness. But everything that he could really do was to wait. Wait and hope... He hated both. Helplessness had been his greatest enemy for years, he always wanted to be in control of situations, always wanted to have a solution for everything, always wanted to be able to cope with anything. It had worked – up until now.

Taking hesitant steps, he approached the bed and sunk down into the armchair which stood nearby. He placed his elbows onto his knees, resting his chin on his folded hands and directed his gaze to the redhead's face that seemed to be made out of marble – pale and perfect. But just this perfection was what was disturbing him; the lack of any emotion on the older boy's features. As if he were...

_No! _He closed his eyes, enraged, trying to chase that one thought away. Tala would wake up. For sure. Hope... Tala had hated it, to hope. A bitter smile curled Kai's lips. The other lived on the precept of a maverick, he trusted no one and didn't expect anyone to trust him. He never asked for help and never hoped for something. He let no one close. Except Kai.

Why hadn't he noticed earlier? Why had he never realized that he had been the only exception in Tala's life? Was he still? Was it why Tala had asked his forgiveness? The Wolf never asked anyone for anything. Except... Kai...

_Except... except... except... me... except me... except me... except me... exceptmeexceptme..._ It hammered in his head, kicking out all other thoughts, writing itself in red letters before his inner eyes. **Except me... **

_I'm a fucking idiot. A brainless __dimwit..._ He lowered his head and tears started to well up underneath the trembling eyelids, crystal-clear, salty, bitter tears. Tears of rage, tears of regret, tears of guilt. Anger over the own, stubborn blindness. Ten years it were...

_"You know, Kai, someday I will be free. Then no one will be telling me what to do. I will go wherever I want, and do whatever I want." The ten-year-old, red-haired boy looked at him out of determinately sparkling, ice-hued orb. _

_"You will? And where'll you go? What will you do?" Kai gazed back at his friend curiously, slightly swaying his feet. They sat atop the high wall running around the soberly appearing building behind them, and likely they would be admonished for it once somebody would see them having climbed up there. It never detained them from doing it again and again, though._

_"I don't know. I want to be free. I want to see things, great things. I've never been in the taiga, Kai. They say it's beautiful there. The pure snow, the wild forests... Maybe I'll meet a snow-wolf there; one that's just like Wolborg. To be free... yes, that's what I want..."_

_Kai didn't understand. He couldn't envision much in the phrase 'to be free', but the way Tala spoke about it made it sound great. It had to be a wonderful thing, this 'being free'. He listened to Tala, fascinated, captivated by the other's words and dreams. _

_"Don't you want to come with me?" The redhead suddenly turned to him and looked at him intensely, pervasively and calmly. _

_"Would you take me with you?" Kai whispered quietly, slightly intimidated because of the older boy's sudden seriousness. _

_"Yes." Was the simple answer._

_"Why?" He wanted to know, out of reasons he himself couldn't really grasp at that time. He just wanted to know..._

_"Because I trust you, Kai..."_

Kai leaned back in the armchair and ran his hands through his hair in distress. He refused to open his eyes, not until it was safe to do so without anything that was held inside flowing over.

_"Because I trust you, Kai..."_

Such blindness... childish, obstinate, denying blindness. The whole time through. Tala and he, they'd had a bond between them, invisible but all the more perceptible. Every time he thought of Tala, every time he saw him, he would feel this jabbing inside as the bond stretched and strained but they never let it tear completely. They probably didn't even understand how much they cared for each other. The feeling of being offended if the other was being insulted, the compassion if he was in pain, the sympathy when he was sad...

When Tala fell to the ground, Kai had been by his side instantly, guided by an instinct and not any rational thought. He wouldn't do the same for anyone else. This emotional chaos, the pain he felt right now – that all was because of Tala. This was not an illusion, not a temporary state of mind, no. It'd always been like this. He had been so used to it that he simply stopped noticing somewhere along the way. Up until the point where he'd left his old team. Since then something was amiss. He searched, he was confused, he didn't understand – he forgot. But now he remembered again. Tala was the Something that had been amiss. He always had been, every time they were separated from each other.

_"__Прости__ меня__..."_

_"Because I trust you, Kai..."_

"Kai..."

Kai flinched slightly as he realized that Tala's voice had been real this time, and not just in his head. His eyes fluttered open without him really acknowledging it and he now stared into ice-blue crystals that were still a bit hooded.

"Tala... you're awake." He stated matter-of-factly, more to himself.

"Yes."

For a moment, there was complete silence. They looked at each other without saying anything because even though there was so much to say, there were no words to find in order to express it. Were words even appropriate right now?

Kai stood up and went over to the window, thankful that Tala hadn't noticed the glossy shimmer in his eyes. He couldn't say what was bigger now: the relief that his friend had woken up or the fear of what was surely to come.

Tala's vision cleared up, the memories coming back. The battle, the rage, the pain, Kai...

"Where am I?" He asked eventually and tried to sit up. The pain immediately shot throughout his whole body, making him groan.

"You're in my hotel room. I know you hate hospitals." Was Kai's reply, his voice mildly hoarse and levelled down.

The older teen eyed his friend's back and tried to define the tone of the voice. Why did the Phoenix seem so distressed? He sounded like he'd been crying, or was about to. _Nonsense. Because of me? Sure, stop fooling yourself, Tala. Why would I matter to him? He's probably glad if he can get rid of me again._ A bitter sentiment, and he tried ignoring the pain those thoughts brought with them. Did he really no longer meant anything to Kai?

"You should stay in bed." The younger Blader added in a firmer tone, staring out of the window with unseeing eyes. _Tala, you idiot. What were you thinking? Not to imagine if you hadn't woken up... _

"Who are you, my mother?" A snappy answer, like it always came if someone tried to dictate Tala something. He didn't know why he felt so offended... maybe he just tried to cover up the guilt he was feeling. Although he didn't really know why he felt guilty in the first place, and why he had the nagging feeling to have to apologize to the crimson-eyed boy.

"No..." Kai shrugged. His thoughts were overlapping again, he wanted to yell at the other and make it clear how stupid he had been. But at the same time, he wanted to wrap him into his arms and just feel his heartbeat, feel that it was real, that he was alive. The relief and the rage mixed up into something explosive that threatened to make all the walls he always kept high in defence, to crumble.

Tala looked at him, not knowing what to think of that answer. The whole situation was strange. He didn't quite know what he should expect or what would happen next.

"Why did you bring me here?" He finally asked and Kai turned around, Tala instantly getting uncomfortable under the piercing glare of those fiery red eyes. Was the other mad at him? If someone had the right to be mad, then it was he himself; after all it was Kai who'd betrayed him and not the other way around!

With that thought, his doggedness returned. Kai had betrayed him, abandoned him, he'd run off. Just like that, without giving a reason or saying goodbye. Tala's gaze grew harder and emotionless. They now stared at one another like two beasts in a cage, ready to lash out at each other.

But Kai saw it. Saw the pain and he knew what the redhead was thinking about. If he only could explain. If he only could make it clear to Tala why he had left back then – he knew it had been more than unfair, it'd been treachery. Would the other even listen? Kai knew well the look that was on Tala's face right now. Now it made little sense to dispute with him because he simply wouldn't listen. _Damn it..._ The situation was slipping out of hand.

"Tala, listen..." He tried it regardless, and the reaction was exactly like he had expected it.

"No, Kai. Save it. I don't want to hear it." The redhead cut off, although deep down inside he wanted nothing more than to hear it still. To hear the reason why. Why for heaven's sake? It hurt so much...

"I'm sorry, Tala." The Phoenix whispered, lowering his eyes. Tala's anger was warranted. More than anything.

"Sorry doesn't quite cut it anymore, Hiwatari." The voice of the older Blader was cold and aloof as he gathered up what strength he had to get out of the bed. He ignored the pain, which wasn't really difficult for it hurt much more inside. It urged him on despite his body bordering hard on limits. He probably wouldn't make it far. Where to, anyway? He didn't know where he should depart to. Back to Voltaire? He hated the idea.

Kai didn't even try to stop him. Tala's words had slashed into him, choking off any objection, not allowing him to protest. To say anything at all.

The Wolf straightened up, eyes focused ahead of himself. After a few seconds of break, he walked up to the door and came to a halt in front of it. Did he really want to leave? Just go and erase Kai out of his life? No... he couldn't. That wasn't possible. God, it hurt. It hurt incredibly much. _Kai... don't let me just go like that... please..._ His eyes closed for a moment. Was he waiting?

Kai wanted to scream. Tala was leaving, for real. Should all of it end like that? Just like that - snap and over? That couldn't be... that wasn't allowed to be! His heart froze as Tala gripped the door handle. Thousands of thoughts were running through his head but none of them was of any use. His mind tried repeatedly to shake him awake yet his ability to speak seemed to have been swallowed by something. His heart paced so rapidly he could hear it pounding in his ears. No, it couldn't end like this... _I'm going to lose him... forever..._

It seemed an eternity had passed and Tala realized he couldn't hesitate any longer. He had to make this step now. He made his decision, and tried to shut down all the emotions that repulsed it. So be it...

The Wolf turned the handle...

"Tala, no! Please... Don't go."

... and found himself rooted to the spot as he heard the desperate voice of his friend. His deceptively solid intention to leave shattered into thousand pieces and he gasped inaudibly with the hitch of his heart. He hated it to hope but this one time... this one time he was willing to make an exception. For Kai...

* * *

And? What do you think? Any good? You liked it? I hope you did! Next chapter's to come soon ^_^

Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Till the next one, then!

Kate


	5. Bring me to life

Hey guys! Sorry it took me so long to post this chapter, I was kinda busy... yeah, we all know it, don't we? School royally sucks -.- But now that I got my bearings together, here you have the new chapter :) So the last one almost made some of you cry o.O? Oh... well then you definitely should have some tissues ready for the later ones XD

Reki, as for the German version, you can find it on animexxdotde. Tell me your email address if you wish to have a directlink for the fic. I'd be happy if it helps you to improve your German and yes, 'anxious' was just the right word to use :)

Thank you very much to everyone who reviewed! Glad to know you like the fic, I'm really happy that it's enjoyable to read

GabZ, wow, thank you for the effort of reviewing each chapter *bows* You're from Spain? Cool. I'm learning Spanish at my school and the language really is a beautiful one... though I still prefer English but let me tell you, French was a nightmare for me xD I did it one year then I let it be... But Japanese it pretty cool, too, I'm currently learning it on my own and it's not that complicated... but difficult nonetheless :)

Hm, thanks also for the hint with the seasons... Anyways I'm using the characters from the last one, you know, where they all looked wayyy better than in the first one, especially Tyson (no, not the unbeatable *g* In my fic he's just as beatable as anyone... well, **except **Kai, maybe XDDD) Let's just imagine they hadn't changed the eye colour (what the heck did they do that for, anyways o.O I mean, how can eye colours change? You can grow your hair longer, but switch eye colour... Unless them boys all decided to wear contacts for some reason) *lol*

Russian, yeah, I speak it, it's my native language and from what I've heard from some of my friends who try to learn it, it has to be pretty much difficult. Especially 'cause it has 33 letters compared to the German's 26 what makes the pronunciation and writing quite a challenge. Cyrillic is supposed to be tough.

But it really is amazing, you know... I have reviewers from all over the world *jumps around* Spain, Denmark, America, Germany... some of you from England, maybe? A hooray for sites such as this one XD

Glad I did okay with the beybattle and it wasn't boring :) And *looks up* my preambles are getting longer... maybe just so you know... sometimes, depending on the reviews, these forewords of mine are getting a bit longer than expected. It's very important to me to reply to the review/ers because I think it's the least I can do to thank for the support the review/ers give me. But sure, if you don't like reading this through you can always skip it, right? So, now a big Thank you goes out to all my reviewers *huggles* Means a lot to me!

But well, enough of foreword on with the chapter, ne? So here you go, read and enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 4**

**"Bring Me To Life"**

How can you see into my eyes like open doors  
Leading you down into my core  
Where I've become so numb

Without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold  
Until you find it there and lead it back home

(Wake me up)  
Wake me up inside  
(I can't wake up)  
Wake me up inside  
(Save me)  
Call my name and save me from the dark  
(Wake me up)  
Bid my blood to run  
(I can't wake up)  
Before I come undone  
(Save me)  
Save me from the nothing I've become

Now that I know what I'm without  
You can't just leave me  
Breathe into me and make me real  
Bring me to life

(Wake me up)  
Wake me up inside  
(I can't wake up)  
Wake me up inside  
(Save me)  
call my name and save me from the dark  
(Wake me up)  
bid my blood to run  
(I can't wake up)  
before I come undone  
(Save me)  
save me from the nothing I've become

Bring me to life  
(I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside)  
Bring me to life

Frozen inside without your touch without your love, darling

Only you are the life among the dead

All this time I can't believe I couldn't see  
Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me  
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems  
Got to open my eyes to everything  
Without a thought without a voice without a soul  
Don't let me die here  
There must be something more  
Bring me to life

(Wake me up)  
Wake me up inside  
(I can't wake up)  
Wake me up inside  
(Save me)  
call my name and save me from the dark  
(Wake me up)  
bid my blood to run  
(I can't wake up)  
before I come undone  
(Save me)  
save me from the nothing I've become

(Bring me to life)  
I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside  
(Bring me to life)

* * *

"Don't go..." Kai didn't really know whom he was directing his words at. His heart, which froze at the thought of Tala leaving? Tala? Himself?

The older teen still stood with his back to him but his hand had released the door handle. Was that a good sign or not? What now? He had stopped Tala from leaving but for how long? Kai had never been good at expressing his feelings. Never been good at handling people. Never been good at talking altogether.

Just like Tala, who still didn't want to turn around, trying to stare the door to pieces. Funny shit. He hadn't wanted to leave just some moments ago and now he felt like it was his most fervent wish. He was afraid. Yes, the great and mighty Tala was afraid. Afraid of what would happen. He just wasn't good at it, this whole emotional stuff. _Heavens, why, Kai? Why did it have to turn out like this between us? We used to be... _What? They used to be what? Foes? Rivals? Friends?

"Kai... what are we, actually?" Tala turned around and looked into unguarded crimson eyes. When Kai let his defences fall, his eyes looked so much different. The coldness disappeared out of them as if it had never existed. They became sad, they became calm... Insightful.

Now they were confused. Kai looked at him out of candidly confused eyes, surprised due to the strange nature of that question. Tala chuckled to himself; the younger boy looked rather adorable with such an expression on his pretty face.

"What... do you mean?" The half-Russian found his voice again and stared into those ice-hued orbs not knowing what kind of answer he was supposed to give.

"I really don't know where we stand. I mean, what do you expect me to do now?" Tala leaned back against the door and crossed his arms over his chest. What appeared cool and stand-offish on the outside was actually more for stability's sake this time around - his worn out body simply couldn't provide enough strength to let him stand without support. The furious rush of adrenaline was gone and the physical pain settled back into his senses, more intense than before.

Kai bit his lower lip, looking at his friend. He'd known this would happen sooner or later, that he and Tala would face each other again and that the older boy would demand an answer. An answer to everything. But Kai didn't have that kind of answer. His decision back then... he didn't regret it. He regretted a lot in his life, but not being with the Bladebreakers. Sure, they were childish and carefree, sometimes even annoying but they were also affable, cheerful, open. Everything he was not. They had forgiven him. Could Tala forgive him, too? Would he be able to forgive it, be he in Tala's place?

"Tala, listen..." He began once more, not really knowing what he should say. He had to say something. Anything...

"I'm all ears." Tala's sarcastic remark jabbed painfully into the heart of the young Phoenix but he ignored it.

"...you have the right to be mad at me..." He continued, averting his gaze from the redhead and to the floor.

Tala didn't look at him anyway. He, too, stared onto the carpeted ground. "Damn right I have." A murmur of sour approval.

"...and I wish I could explain it to you..."

"Well, go ahead and do it, then."

"...but... you wouldn't understand..." Kai just couldn't bring himself up to add the 'I fear' after that little but in there. He didn't fear anything! The great Kai Hiwatari and fearing? Tsk. However... _Ah, shit. Where's that damn ego when you need it?_

"So now I'm stupid, too?" Tala asked incisively, though he himself wasn't aware of how hurt his voice sounded, yet Kai instantly lifted his head. It hadn't been what he wanted to imply. He hadn't wanted to offend the other with that last sentence. He was just... scared.

"That's not what I meant." Kai's eyes met a pair of irate, ice-blue ones and for a while, they just stared at each other.

"Sure. It was not what you meant. Just like you didn't mean to run off. Just like you didn't mean to leave me hanging. You never meant anything, did you?" The Wolf cut off, emotions boiling. _I wouldn't understand... arrogant prick..._ Why had he decided to stay, anyway? Why again, was he doing this to himself? ... right... Kai had asked him to stay...

"Tala, for hell's sake, can't you just listen for a minute!" Why? Why was everything so freaking difficult? What was all this for? Kai felt like a cretin. Like a little child that had no idea what it should do. He was already 17, damn it! Or was he _only_ 17...?

"Listen? To who? You? Tell me, Kai, why should I listen to you? You don't want to tell me jack, anyway. I _wouldn't understand _it anyhow, would I?" Tala mocked the words Kai'd used, his feelings gaining the upper hand. What was all this good for? What was holding him here? What was stopping him from just erasing this boy out of his life, just forget, just go?

"I shouldn't have said that, I'm sorry. What I really meant was... what I wanted to say was..." The words just didn't want to come out.

"Dammit..." Kai jerked his head to the side, the words a half-furious, half-desperate whisper. This wasn't going anywhere and Tala wasn't really cooperative, either. Hell, he understood, he understood why Tala was so cynical and why he was taunting him like this but... a chance. All that he wanted was just one chance. After that Tala could go and pour his rage out onto him or punch him if he so desired, Kai would accept it, but he needed this one chance to explain everything to the other. Yet... where should he start? Would Tala even listen, let alone understand? _This is Hell. I swear this is the godforsaken hell on earth..._

Tala on his part was, put in simply, flabbergasted. Kai had sounded desperate, desperate and... scared? What of? What was he scared of? Of Tala? _Great. So this is how far we got already. We are really making progress, huh? Now he's scared of me... _But was it really him what the younger Blader was afraid of? He looked helpless standing there, head averted, hands gripping the windowsill behind him for support, arms trembling slightly. Wait a moment, trembling? What the heck...?

_This is for crying out loud. The only friend I've ever had, the only human being I've ever trusted, the only one who's still so important to me... Exactly this one person is now standing right across me, and hates me. He hates me... Sure, why should he not? He has the right to. I'd run away like a coward, left him hanging and then even dared to say it was the right thing to do. I cannot blame him for hating me. He hates me and I? I'm standing here like an idiot, trying to justify myself. And not even that, I can do properly. How low can you possibly sink? Shit... cursed, twisted shit! He hates me. He hates me... he... hates... me... _Kai squeezed his eyes shut as his heart seemed to shatter with every thought. _He hates me._ Glowing steel being thrust into his soul, twisted around and thrust in even deeper. _He hates me._ Razor-sharp blades perforating his heart, slicing gashing wounds across it, almost making him gasp because of the incredible, agonizing pressure in his chest, smothering him. _Hates me._ Hot tears finally forcing their way out of his eyes and stealing their way down his cheeks, gathering on his chin and dropping down onto his clothes. They came so numerous and fast that Kai didn't even realize he was crying. The pain was far too great.

"Kai...?"

He startled when a familiar voice interrupted his thoughts, causing him wince slightly. He had completely forgotten he wasn't alone in the room. His reddened eyes were wide as they stared up into concerned sapphires, the tears making the image of Tala's face blurry and unclear. Apparently the redhead had made his way over to him unnoticed after his silence had continued on.

"Hey... don't..." Tala gently took the Phoenix by the shoulders and pulled him in, voice soft and quiet. Kai's forehead touched to a firm chest, he didn't resist as Tala wrapped his arms around him and held him close. He couldn't quite grasp what was happening but he was thankful for the comfort. It's been so long... His eyes closed, pressing from underneath the mesh of intertwining eyelashes more tears which soundlessly disappeared into Tala's white jacket.

Feeling the younger teen's mild trembling, Tala reinforced his hold a bit, placing his chin atop the crown of blue and silver strands. By gods, he'd never wanted to make Kai cry. He hadn't had a clue of just how much the other boy suffered because of them being on such bad terms with each other. He'd always thought Kai didn't care, and that he himself was the only one who hurt so much because of it. How foolish of him. Why should Kai feel any differently? They had been so close once, like brothers. They'd been each other's only family for ten long years. What had he been thinking, accusing Kai that he didn't feel anything anymore?

He hadn't been aware it cut this deep... Maybe in Kai's case it cut even deeper than in Tala's. Personally, he had rarely ever seen Kai cry. The last time, Kai being barely seven, was after his parents' funeral. Back then, when they'd died in a horrible accident even though no one really believed it to have been one. On their funeral Kai's face had been petrified, emotionless, cold. Voltaire had praised him for how strong and brave he was... At night Tala had woken up and couldn't find his friend in the room they'd shared. Sick with worry he'd run out, searching half Moscow and finding the little one by the gravestone of his parents in a more than miserable state. That had been the last time he'd seen Kai shed tears consciously, the nightmares that had been plaguing him after that horrific incident aside. Was this... hurting him as much as the loss of his parents...? Had Tala himself hurt him so much with his blind rage?

"Kai, I'm sorry. I didn't want to... I'm sorry..." He uttered, smoothing a hand up the other's back, over the nape of his neck and through his night-blue hair. The slender body in his arms shifted a bit and Kai looked up at him, eyes glistening faintly with the tears that'd spilled and were now slowly running dry when he stared at Tala wordlessly, confused. So many feelings reflected in the pools of red – pain, grief, hopelessness. Guilt.

Kai attempted to make his dazed mind work again. Why was Tala apologizing? What for? His ice-hued orbs shone with warmth and tenderness, sparkling secretively. Was his mind playing a trick on him as revenge for all the painful thoughts, and had even instigated his ears to hear wondrous things? Tala couldn't be apologizing to him, because he...

"You hate me..." A broken whisper nearly forcing more tears to refresh the paths of the old ones. To think about it hurt bad enough, but to speak it out robbed him off all his mental strength.

"What?" Tala couldn't hide his sheer stupefaction. He pushed the younger boy a bit away, although not letting go of him completely as he awarded him with a look that suggested he strongly doubted the intactness of Kai's sanity. Letting out a quiet, incredulous laugh Tala finally comprehended why the other was upset this gravely. _Silly..._ He thought and shook his head.

"We better forget that quickly again, okay? And you throw that thought-" With his index finger, he prodded Kai in the forehead slightly "-right out of your head, understood?"

The expression on the face of the younger Russian was priceless. One that Tala would probably never forget. A grin crept up to his lips as Kai stared at him wide-eyed, mouth slightly open.

"You don't hate me?" Kai exhaled in a stunned breath, his mind once again becoming his enemy and dumbly refusing to accept the information.

"No, silly. You screwed up, yes, but... that wouldn't make me _hate_ you." Tala ruffled up the other's double-coloured hair, still grinning. Sure, he still hadn't gotten any explanation but at this one moment, everything was fine just the way it was. Just like in the old days, where they had been together, careless, fooled around and got on each other's nerves. He missed those days. Very much so.

Kai slapped the annoying hand away and glared warningly at Wolf. "Look who's talking. Since when have you started to give me cutesy names?" He was relieved, very much so and his anger was only an act. For a moment everything else didn't matter, finally he and Tala could be just like they'd used to be before all of this dilemma.

"Ever since you've started being cute." Tala laughed out and tried to get to the other's hair again, fully aware how much Kai hated it if someone messed with it.

"I'm not cute, you ass!" Kai hissed and jerked his arm to get it out of Tala's hold, gripping the older teen's wrist so that those nimble digits couldn't reach his strands of blue and grey.

"Whatever you say, little nestling. When'd you fledged, huh?" Tala chuckled as Kai's face contorted in a grimace at the nickname that he'd given him way back and that still always annoyed the hell out of him. This time was no exception. However, it was half as bad as long as the redhead didn't...

"Что случилось, птенчик? Утратил дар речи?" (What's wrong, little nestling? Lost the ability to speak?)

...say it in Russian. A faint pink touched along the bridge of the Phoenix's finely shaped nose and he pushed out of the other's embrace fully, glaring daggers in Tala's direction and crossing his arms over his chest. Oh, sometimes he could just kill him!

"Заткнись, Тала, окей? Пока я добрый!" (Shut up, Tala, okay? Before I get really mad.) He threatened. _Stupid jerk!_ Something that always echoed in his head whenever Tala started to piss him off.

"Oh, now I'm scared." The redhead joked in feigned fear, barely able to contain more laughter.

"You should be!" Kai hissed and involuntary, he pouted like at that time when they were kids and Tala peeved him.

That did it and the taller boy burst out laughing. The good, old Kai... with the right buttons pushed, no one got so mad so quickly, aside maybe Tala himself. But in contrast to Tala, Kai sometimes managed to look rather cute than actually frightening. Only when he was with Tala, though, because no one else would dare to provoke Kai like that. _But they should definitely try!_ An amused thought, however he knew that anyone else in his place would probably already have their head ripped off. But Tala allowed himself the insolence. He always had.

"Will you stay?" The Phoenix suddenly asked, the serious expression on his handsome features cutting Tala's laughter short. As much as he disliked it to ruin the mood, Kai had to know how things were to go from here.

Right... Tala had almost forgotten where he was. It weren't the old days. Even if it did a lot of good to wander off topic a bit, the reality now looked down on them with a staid gaze again.

"I won. My mission's accomplished, and I can go back." He shrugged nonchalantly, averting his eyes to the window. It was true. Voltaire would be content. Thinking about the past beybattle made his body ache all over again.

"I understand." Kai said quietly, fully aware of what 'going back' meant. Back to his grandfather, that power-hungry monster. No doubt he was the key reason which had forced Tala to go all out like that. How Kai hated the over-ambitious dotard if only someone knew, another bit more with every single day to pass. He comprehended perfectly that Tala likely didn't have the smallest of desire to go back but on contrary to Kai he didn't really have a choice. Or did he?

"Oh, I almost forgot... here."

Tala turned and caught the Blade Kai had tossed to him, looking at the Bitchip with the picture of a snow-wolf on it. _Wolborg... _His Bitbeast... his beloved, beautiful Bitbeast, one of the very few things Tala would give everything for, even his life. It was why he hated to take Bitbeasts away from their owners, because he knew how damn painful it must be to lose it.

"So?"

He focused his sight on Kai again, keeping his expression as well as his voice calm and collected: "So what?"

Kai glanced to the side briefly before steadfastly locking gazes with Tala's crystal clear, blue eyes.

"You can stay here. With me." He spoke firmly, looking expectantly at the older teen. He didn't want to let him go back. If he could, he would never let him go again... _What the heck am I thinking? I'm sounding like a goddamn sap! _Both furious and confused with his thoughts, he ultimately decided not to pay that sentiment too much attention.

"Hn."

"Care to specify?"

Tala scrutinized him, placid and relaxed, apparently doing some thinking of his own. Staying with Kai didn't seem such a bad idea. At least for tonight. He wasn't really in the condition to go anywhere and it was starting to get dark outside. If he didn't return tonight, no one would ask themselves why or where or how anyway. He could decide on what to do tomorrow, after recovering a little.

"Fine. I'll stay." Telling the other that, he thought he saw relief reflecting in the eyes of the younger Blader for a moment. Or maybe it was just his imagination.

"I hope you don't snore, though." He smirked, and Kai rolled his eyes. Tala as he lived and breathed. Arrogant, nerve-racking and cocky. Kai wouldn't want to have him any other way.

* * *

So what do you think? I hope you liked this chapter, feedback's always welcome! I'm working on the next one so it shouln't be long till the next update. Thanks once more to all who reviewed the story so far +huggies+

So till next chapter, then =3

Kate

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POSTTRANSLATION NOTE:

"Что случилось, птенчик? Утратил дар речи?" –Ch'to slu'chilos', pten'chik? U'tratil dar rechi?- What's wrong, little nestling? Lost the ability to speak?

*pten'chik is a cutesy form of the word 'ptenetz' (chick, nestling, fledgling) that is used for baby birds of all kinds. Tala is referring to Kai like that because of Dranzer, of course *laughs*

"Заткнись, Тала, окей? Пока я добрый!" –Zatknis', Tala, okay? Poka ya dobrii- Shut up, Tala, okay? Before I get really mad (lit. As long as I'm in a good enough mood (to let you get away with it)).


	6. Goodnight

Yeah, sorry for the long wait, guys *hides in a corner* Life's been a bitch the past month so I wasn't able to work on the fic but it's finally got better now so here you have it :) The new chapter of Anything for you, hope you'll enjoy it.

Oh, and I also didn't have the time to check it twice for grammar and spelling, hopefully there are not too many mistakes in there xD

Read, enjoy, and review, please :)

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**Chapter 5**

**"Goodnight"**

Goodnight, sleep tight  
No more tears  
In the morning I'll be here  
And when we say goodnight,  
Dry your eyes  
Because we said goodnight,  
And not goodbye  
We said goodnight  
And not goodbye

* * *

Tala sat on the bed, watching Kai in his doing; the younger teen was about to put sheets on the couch in the hotel room.

"Ouch, Kai. So you're shoving me off onto the sofa?" He asked with a grin, leaning back onto his hands stemmed into the soft mattress behind him. However, there was no negative connotation to his statement, after all this was his hotel room and Kai had all rights to shove him off to wherever he liked.

The silver-blue haired Blader stopped briefly and looked at his friend out of placid, crimson eyes. "No." He replied and continued in his task. "I'm sleeping here."

Tala tilted his head to the side and looked questioningly at the red-eyed boy. Not that he was complaining, he just hadn't expected the answer.

"How very nice of you to put yourself to such a bother on my account." He finally said and wanted to kick himself for sounding so sarcastic. It really _was_ nice of Kai, and he didn't want to offend him with the statement. But apparently, his hurt heart didn't play along because no matter if they were on speaking terms again, the feelings still remained.

Kai on his part faltered in his actions and closed his eyes briefly as a wave of pain washed over him. Right. How could he have forgotten. He knew that everything would lead to this subject eventually. He had hoped to put it off until tomorrow but it seemed Tala thought otherwise. Not that he could blame him for it.

With a sigh, he fluffed up the pillow and placed it on the couch. In a smooth movement, he pulled his tank top off over his head and dropped it onto the armchair. "I guessed that we'd eventually come back to this." Speaking, he walked over to the closet where Tala followed with his eyes, taking a white shirt out.

"You may believe that what had happened didn't matter to me the whole time through..." He returned to the couch, and having pulled the habiliment on unfastened his belt with a metallic chink of the buckle.

"...but you are greatly mistaken there." After this sentence the pants joined the shirt on the armchair.

Tala observed the younger teen with interest, asking himself if it was easier for Kai to start a serious conversation while doing something. It looked like that to him. He watched the Phoenix take place on the edge of the sofa and put his elbows onto his knees, resting his chin atop his folded hands. His crimson eyes suddenly looked directly at him, composed and determined.

"Listen, I'm sorry it all happened like it did. I know it must have hurt you very much." His voice was quiet yet firm, his eyes however couldn't maintain contact with Tala's, thus he lowered them guiltily.

The redhead straightened out, agitated as well as anxious. By gods, he hadn't meant to start a profound heart-to-heart talk with his stupid remark but it looked as though it was exactly what Kai had interpreted it like.

"I won't try to justify myself or say there had been no other way. It's just that..." Kai was obviously struggling to find the right words to say. He let his entwined hands sink between his knees, flexing the fingers against each other, head averted to the side. It was so damn difficult. He felt Tala's apprehensive gaze on him and it corded up his throat even more. _Shit. Come on, there's no turning back now._

"...I was sick of it. You know, of my grandfather, Boris, Biovolt and all the idiots of our old team. I just couldn't phlegmatically continue doing what we did because I had seen... because I'd seen there was another way. When the Bladebreakers had taken me in... I... I experienced with them all the things I didn't know until then. I didn't want to give up on all of it just like that again. I couldn't." His voice grew quieter, although he tried to keep it as steady as possible.

"But us, you could give up just like that?" Tala asked dejectedly, his clear, blue eyes directed at Kai. He saw and he heard how difficult it was for the younger teen to speak and yes, he did understand up to a certain point. But just up to a certain point.

Kai lifted his head, his crimson depths locking with their fathomless, ice-hued counterparts. The expression on Tala's features was tense and Kai knew his friend had asked himself that question many times.

"I... there are some things that are worth fighting for. Things you have to sacrifice something for." He finally replied and was taken aback when Tala's eyes sparkled up with fury. Fury, and pain.

"Thank you, Kai, for making it this obvious. So you went and sacrificed ten years of friendship for the sake of being together with a bunch of kids." He pronounced icily, gaze unfaltering and hard. His body was rigid with strain because of the rage that boiled inside. How wonderful. Simply wonderful. How fucking easy he'd put it in. Sacrifice something... for _some things_. What were those _things_, huh?

"No." Kai shook his head; it hurt. It hurt that he'd hurt Tala, it hurt that the other was mad at him, it hurt that he just couldn't explain it. It wasn't working. He couldn't make Tala understand something that could only be experienced.

"I've never been outright happy with my decision. I was confused because it hurt all the time whenever I was happy. I couldn't be truly happy because I... because... because you weren't there." He exhaled, feeling a lump manifesting in his throat and swallowed hard against it.

Tala's mouth hung open as his face fell. He firmly believed that he'd misheard something. His ice-blue orbs reflected blank astonishment and perplexity as they stared into Kai's softly shimmering ones. Pain reflected in the pools of red, mixed up with guilt.

"I- I constantly thought about you whenever I was happy or had fun with my team mates. I always kept asking myself how you were doing, if you were alright, if you were managing, if you... if you were happy. Damn it, Tala, you're my best friend, you've always been, and the longer I stayed here the more I regretted..." _you not being there. _"We'd been together since we were little kids and when you suddenly weren't by my side anymore a... a big piece of family, reassurance, trust was missing. A big piece of me. And I..." His voice faltered due to the emotional pressure, and he went silent.

They lowered their heads simultaneously. They couldn't look each other in the eye anymore, it hurt too much. Kai had spent all of his strength to articulate those things, he felt completely worn out because he still had the feeling that he'd explained nothing at all. He had tried so hard, tried so hard to clarify it the best he could but the feeling of having failed still remained. It was eating him up alive and the despair was suffocating. He wanted so much for Tala to understand. His reasons, his feelings, himself...

Tala's heart was pounding in his chest so hard he could almost perceive it breaking the cage of ribs that incarcerated it. No, he never had a clue... Never knew. But now, he understood, really, he did. He understood the impasse Kai was stuck in. On the one hand, he had his team that relied on and respected him, the newly won friends, acceptance, helpfulness and a harmonic and honest environment providing him with what a human being needed most. And on the other hand he had his hated grandfather, the loathed abbey, lies, exploitation, power, greed and... Tala. Yet he put both of it on equal level. He couldn't decide and for heaven's sake, it was way too much asked for. What chaos, what pain it must cause him... Tala didn't want to imagine.

"Kai..." The older teen's voice was hushed because of the feelings the realization had dumped onto him. The fact that Kai had actually found everything he needed to be happy... but he still put that happiness on scale and that happiness, to him, weighed as much as his friendship with Tala. All he had to do was to forget the redhead and nothing would any longer stand between him and an outright fulfilled life with friends, admirers, maybe even love and family.

"...I'm sorry... I never really... grasped your situation. You have everything one could wish for, and after all that you've been through I can imagine you don't want to give it up anymore. I just have never thought you'd put me on equal footing with everything you have here..."

"No, Tala, I don't." Kai interrupted him and he looked up into those serene rubies, insecure. Had he gotten it wrong after all...?

"I put you above all this." The words were quiet, but most resolute. "Sure, I found many friends here but you will always be the one I'll put above any of them. It's true, my life here is not to compare with the one I had before, but... If I really had to choose... between you and all this... I wouldn't hesitate to choose you. I would abandon everything here for being together with you again... but please, understand that I cannot go back to the thing I tried so hard to escape from. I would never be able to serve under my grandfather again, I would never be able to step into the abbey again... That's why it hurts so damn much, Tala... You are and always will be the only person I trust with everything I am, and who I would do anything for." Anything except that. Anything but-

"But... I cannot go back there... I can't..." It was as if a dam broke loose. Once started, Kai couldn't stop it anymore. He wanted Tala to understand. To understand how important he was to him. Still was, always would be. The only piece of family he had left in this world, he could never be able to forsake or forfeit it.

The redhead had a hard time to digest the received information. He stared into Kai's eyes which shone with a great portion of relief now, the heavy shadow of pain gone.

Tala's own feelings were driving rollercoaster. Kai was more than a friend to him, he was like a brother. Family... Tala had never had a family; he couldn't even remember his parents. Being alone had been hard. It had turned him into a cold-hearted, emotionless boy who never accepted help or trusted anyone. But then, out of nowhere Kai had appeared and turned everything upside down. He had played himself into his heart so easily and clumsily, he hadn't even noticed how, with time passing by, Kai had been increasingly becoming more and more important to him.

"When you left..." He began slowly, watching how Kai's eyes narrowed in attention. Tala averted his gaze to the window, staring at the half-moon. He didn't really want to explain but he knew he owed Kai that much. He wanted the other to know that he wasn't mad at him and that he no longer excoriated what he'd done.

"...I felt betrayed. I was enraged and I talked myself into believing that I hated you. But I couldn't hate you no matter how hard I tried, and that only enraged me further. I always kept asking myself, why? Why? I couldn't understand and I didn't want to, either. It was so much easier to just be mad and not to have to think about it, because thinking about it hurt... I never understood that you hadn't betrayed _me_. That it wasn't _me_ you ran away from. You ran away from them. From your grandfather, from Biovolt and all the dark and power-obsessed machinations they were pulling off. You didn't want to be a pawn in their game anymore, and I can understand now... I can understand why you left... That was what you've been afraid of, wasn't it? You've been afraid I wouldn't understand... And I didn't, before. However, that had been my fault alone... Now... I think I understand now..." He ended quietly, feeling the incredible weight on his heart dissolving slowly. The sensation was... liberating.

He turned to face Kai again and smiled faintly, ice-blue crystals sparkling warmly. Kai looked comforted, almost happy. His eyes glittered softly as his lips curled into a small smile as well. He didn't think Tala knew just how much his words had really reassured him. They were like a balm for his despair-torn soul, washing the pain and the hurtful thoughts away and taking that incredibly heavy stone off his shoulders.

"Thank you..." He whispered in sincere gratitude, earning himself a suspicious look.

"You don't intend to start crying, do you?" Tala asked sceptically and a moment later had the couch cushion in his face.

"Don't fancy yourself, jerk." Was Kai's offhand reply and Tala sounded a soft laugh, lazily tossing the diminutive pillow back at the other who caught it and placed it back to where it initially belonged. For a small moment then, they sat there in the hush of the bedroom illuminated only by the gentle, yellowish luminance of the bedside lamp and the cobalt rays of moonlight. It was a feeling both of them had been missing for so many years... Serenity. Peace of heart and mind.

Ultimately, Kai rose up his seat and made his way over to the closet again, searching around in it for something that appeared to be a black shirt which performed a brief flight in the direction of the bed. While the Wolf changed, Kai disappeared into the bathroom to brush his teeth. After he was done he laid out a new toothbrush for Tala and stepped out.

"Took you long enough. I'm surprised you didn't march out of there with a beauty mask." The older teen teased and quickly disappeared behind the bathroom door before Kai could throw the next available object at him. He knew well of Kai's habit to throw things at him when the Phoenix was mad, though it only applied to Tala. One time he had accomplished it to really, and he meant **really, **piss Kai off and got hit with a bedside lamp. But Kai had been pretty young back then and now that he'd grown up, he wouldn't get such murderous ideas anymore... at least Tala hoped he wouldn't.

After he was done and exited the bathroom again, Kai was already in bed... or, on the couch, to be precise. It was pretty small and Tala doubted it was in any way comfortable.

The Wolf shook his head. "Kai, come to bed." He beckoned while arriving at same piece of furniture and easing himself down onto it, near the side where the lamp still shone.

"W-what?" Kai sat up and looked over to Tala, confused and a bit embarrassed. Leave it to his friend to always, usually purposefully, word things in awkward ways.

"You heard me. I don't want you to sleep on the couch." Tala replied simply, getting under the covers. "It doesn't look very comfortable to me."

The younger boy was still sitting upright and staring at him.

"What's up? I don't bite." The redhead joked amusedly, and Kai snorted. But he admitted Tala had a point – the couch was anything but comfortable indeed. He had barely laid on it for two minutes and his back was already complaining. Besides, the bed was big enough... so why not? It wasn't like he'd never shared a sleeping spot with Tala before. So he shrugged, got up and after a short trip to and around the bed he arrived at its other side, throwing the blanket back.

"Should I leave the lights on?"

This question made him freeze briefly in his doing. He shot a confused glance at Tala who just looked back innocently, the corners of his mouth twitching slightly trying not to erupt into a shameless grin.

"Screw you." Kai finally replied and slipped beneath same blanket, turning with his back to the redhead.

"I take that as a no, then." That said Tala turned the bedside lamp off and sunk back into the cushions. "But just to be sure – there are no monsters under the bed, okay?" He spoke, a muted snicker on his lips, hearing an irritated snarl from his friend.

"Shut up, Tala. Besides, you're just a year older than me so stop being so goddamn motherly." With that Kai pulled at the blanket, leaving the other without.

"Ah-ha, and this was oh sooo mature of you right now." The 18-year-old commented and Kai's brow began to jerk in an unhealthy rhythm.

"I'll show you something mature if you don't shut up soon!" He hissed.

"Oi. I really can't wait to see it. Is it something naughty?" The sly reply suggested perfectly well that the older teen had a wide grin plastered in his face right now. Kai just growled in response, deciding to keep his mouth shut for the sake of his temper.

"What, no good night for you best buddy?"

"Good night, Tala."

"I could read something out to you..."

"_Good night_, Tala."

"Maybe a calming tea would do you some good..."

"Good night, Tala!"

"...you seem to be really worked up, how can you sle-" The rest of the sentence was swallowed by the pillow that landed flat and with quite an amount of force in his face.

"Good. Night. Tala."

Retrieving same pillow, Kai placed it under his head again, grumbling to himself. Tala stared into the darkness around them for a moment, dumbfounded.

"Now that wasn't very nice." He stated sulkily; an act, of course.

"Tala..." Came the warning reply.

"Okay, okay, I'll be quiet now. Night, Kai." He pacified and covered himself up again after Kai had kindly released the blanket.

* * *

TBC


	7. Forgive me

Oh, my gosh. Guys, I am very sorry for abandoning this story so abruptly for two whole years. My life went upside down, we've been moving from one town to another and upon getting settled and struggling with some personal crisis, I COMPLETELY forgot about this story. I only got reminded about it some days ago as a notification of a received review and add to favourite story/author fluttered into the inbox of my e-mail address *scratches head* Again, I am sorry and I thank you guys deeply for reminding me about this!

Of course, my English has improved some during the time span I've been away and I'm now a person who's grown quite a lot in those past two years. Still, of course, I'll be doing my best to keep the writing style I used even though I hope you will now be pleased with alotta less grammar and spelling mistakes *laughs*

I could now apologize back and forth but instead, I'll only ask you to accept one sincere apology and a deep bow for the horrible, horrible, long delay. I'm back in life firmly now and I'm impossibly lucky and happy to be. Furthermore, I can promise you I'll lead this story to an end but I'll ask you to be patient with me in advance since school and work tend to eat away at me sometimes. Nevertheless I will try to provide regular updates! *nods*

I wonder if someone even still remembers this o.O" Regardless, here goes the next chapter and I will hope you'll enjoy reading!

* * *

**Chapter 6**

**"Forgive Me"**

Can you forgive me again?  
I don't know what I said  
But I didn't mean to hurt you

I heard the words come out  
I felt that I would die  
It hurt so much to hurt you

Then you look at me  
You're not shouting anymore  
You're silently broken

I'd give anything now  
to kill those words for you

Each time I say something I regret I cry "I don't want to lose you."  
But somehow I know that you will never leave me, yeah.

'Cause you were made for me  
Somehow I'll make you see  
How happy you make me

I can't live this life  
Without you by my side  
I need you to survive

So stay with me  
You look in my eyes and I'm screaming inside that I'm sorry.

And you forgive me again  
You're my one true friend  
And I never meant to hurt you

* * *

"Nghn..." A reluctant groan could be heard while Kai, fully dressed, effortlessly continued in his intention to wake Tala. He shook the redhead again by the shoulders, but the other only reacted by pulling the covers over his head.

"Tala, goddamn it! Wake up!" The Phoenix demanded, obviously annoyed, and shook the older boy even less gently.

"Leave me be..." Was the insipid mumbling in response. Tala was still tired although thanks to the relaxing sleep his body didn't hurt as much anymore. It had been the first time in months that he had been able to sleep in and rest properly. And if you asked him he would prefer to stay in bed for some more hours but there was this unnerving hand that just kept shaking him, attempting to rouse him in pair with a well-known voice which sounded fairly pissed.

"I swear..." Kai swallowed the rest of the sentence and, with an exasperate sigh, let the Wolf be. For a while he just stood there, looking down at his friend, uncertain what to do next. Tala's facial expression grew peaceful and calm again, and Kai found that he was feeling... weird looking at his sleeping friend right now. He shook his head briefly but he couldn't avert his eyes from the other's face. Something strange was happening with him and he could neither name nor understand it. It was simply... there. It was there and foisted this funny emotion on him which made him feel plain... weird.

_What the hell? What's the matter with me? I've seen him sleeping hundredths of times before. God knows there's nothing special about that. But why am I feeling this strange? What is this? I... don't know. I have a weird feeling... maybe I shouldn't wake him... Somehow I'm afraid of what will happen. Will he leave again, and go back? Back to Voltaire? I don't know how to handle him. Should I speak up about it myself? Or has he himself not decided yet? What do I want him to do? Do I want him to stay? Strangely enough... yes, I do. I want him to stay. But... Damn it why am I so insecure? I'm usually never this... this... this irresolute and most of all, fearful. This can't be right. Why am I not myself when it comes to Tala? What is this? I mean I've never... I've never been so very... confused? Anxious? Tensed? I can't put a finger on this feeling. It's something else. Tala, he... He's staring at me right now... Huh? WHAT?_

Kai's eyes widened when he became aware of an ice-blue pair looking back at him with interest. He had spaced out so much he hadn't even noticed that Tala had opened his eyes.

"Crap!" It escaped him and he clasped a hand over his mouth, appalled.

"Well, good morning to you, too." Tala huffed, his eyes sparkling with amusement, a slight grin on his lips.

"I... uhm... Er..." Totally taken aback by the whole situation Kai couldn't bring himself up to actually construct a coherent sentence, his dazed mind searching feverishly for the right phrase to put forth but couldn't find anything, much to Kai's sorrow.

"Go on, pronounce yourself." Tala added his two cents to make it even worse and sat up in the bed, the wittily narrowed eyes still locked with crimson counterparts. He wondered what Kai had been thinking so hard about that his awakening had thrown him off this much. The younger teen looked simply too cute with that distracted face and the faint blush around the bridge of his nose, stuttering on top of that.

"Sorry." Kai finally said and turned away.

Trying to pacify his pounding heart, his right hand was desperately fiddling with the hem of his shirt while he attempted to ban that annoying heat from his body and most importantly, from his face. _Come on, get a grip on yourself. What's the matter with you today, damn it! Why is he flustering you so much? It's just Tala... your old pal Tala, so what's with the drama all of a sudden? Curses..._ His encouraging monologue didn't seem to work quite that well, just like his from so many unbeknown emotions confused brain.

Therefore he flinched noticeably, once again startled out of his deep musing as a pair of hands were softly laid onto his shoulders, Tala's voice resounding somewhere near his right ear.

"Everything okay with you?" Warm breath stroke his cheek and made him shudder. _Ugh... too close... he's too close..._

Tala, totally oblivious to the distress of the other, placed his chin onto his friend's shoulder and gazed sideways into ruby eyes which were rigidly staring forward. He couldn't really understand what was up with the Phoenix today. He seemed to be so uptight and somehow not himself. Maybe he was ill or something? Ice-hued orbs were now looking worriedly at the tensed face of the younger Blader.

"I'm... fine." Kai glanced sideward at the other and once again an involuntary blush grazed his cheekbones. He was unable to help it, his body seemed to be tired of waiting for an reaction from his hazed mind and simply acted on its own. Very much to Kai's discontentment.

"Sure?" Tala eyed him sceptically, and slowly Kai's skin starting to burn under the hands of the other. At least it felt like that.

"Y-yeah... I am." He managed to articulate a sentence of reassurance nonetheless and for some wondrous reason he succeeded to produce somewhat of a convincing smile, too.

"Okay, then." This said Tala let go of the younger boy and ruffled up his hair before disappearing into the bathroom.

When the door closed behind the Wolf, Kai let himself plop down onto the bed, bushed. His feelings were like ingredients which were mingled together in a big pot and resulted in nothing but some hotchpotch. Tala's prominent scent of snow and ice was still clinging to the pillow and Kai dumbly noted that he liked it. _Honestly, Hiwatari, you are SO off the roll today... _Closing his eyes, he attempted to calm himself. After some time he picked up the phone to order the breakfast up to the room. He was sure Tala was not in the least in the mood to have breakfast with his team mates. It was an undeniable fact that Tala didn't like any of them and Kai himself didn't feel like putting up with all the questions they surely were going to ask. He could deal with that later. At the moment, Tala was more important. He needed to know what the other was planning on doing now.

Meanwhile Tala stood under the shower, letting the warm water cascade down onto his stately, well-build form. _Really, Kai is rather weird today... Does he feel uncomfortable with me here? That's the impression I get... Or is he simply anxious because he doesn't know what I'm going to do now?_ That made sense, at least. Tala himself was anxious because he still couldn't settle on what he should do next. He had been shoving the decision off long enough already, he knew he had to make one eventually. Immediately, an uneasy feeling spread inside him. He didn't want to think about it but he knew he had to. Even though it likely didn't bother Voltaire much, eventually he would start wondering where Tala was staying at for so long and then he would search for him. _And he will find me. And finding me, he will find Kai, too. No. I cannot stay here. Or else I cannot spare Kai a much undesired meeting with his grandfather._

Hm. He hadn't thought this decision would be quite this easy. He couldn't stay here with Kai. It was not possible. Even though he wanted to, it was only if he went back that he could protect the young Phoenix. He would make sure his grandfather would leave him alone. He did beat Tyson after all, so there was nothing that was standing in the way of them going back to Russia. The 18-year-old shivered at the thought about the Abbey but it didn't matter how he felt. The most important thing was that Kai would be staying safe here in Tokyo with his friends. Safe from his grandfather and his past. A sad smile curled Tala's lips as he stepped out of the shower and got dressed. It looked like their paths were separating once again. Maybe forever.

Exiting the bathroom he discovered that breakfast had been brought into the room, now standing on the small table near the sofa.

"Well, that's what I call service." Tala grinned and sat down onto the couch, watching Kai who was sitting in the chair opposite him.

"Are you complaining?" He questioned to which the older teen just shrugged his shoulders.

"Nope. I'm just not used to this sort of things."

Kai kept silent, still looking at him. The little statement had reminded him of the Abbey instantaneously. It was true, not such a long time ago Kai wasn't used to this sort of things, either. He knew nothing had probably been farther from Tala's mind than to suppress the mood with his statement, but such was nonetheless the effect of it.

He brought a glass with juice up to his lips, watching the other the whole time through as they wordlessly commenced eating. Strangely enough, he found himself kind of mesmerized as he observed him, taking every finely sculptured contour of that face into memory. Tala had matured. His once soft features were more calloused now, sharper, his eyes always wearing a glint of sangfroid in them. Even when he smiled or grinned those ice-blue soul-mirrors didn't lose their seriousness, the hint of veteran composure. All of the dire straits he had experienced had left a mark on him.

Kai remembered the first time he had met Tala; those large crystal-clear eyes glistening with innocence, the slightly chubby cheeks, the short red strands hanging wildly in his face. He'd been a real picture-perfect Chibi, the kind to elicit adults to be in raptures of his loveliness. Now those eyes had hardened, the innocence and lenient light had drained away from them completely, his hair in a neat style with two meddlesome strands falling in a frame around his handsome face. His body, too, had matured. He'd grown tall, definitely nicely proportioned and also nicely muscled yet far away from being burly or brawny, rather lissom and slender suggesting of possessing both power and agility. Yes, he'd undeniably grown into a very good-looking boy and likely, he'd come to be an even more striking man.

"Somehow I get the funky feeling that you'd rather eat me up than your breakfast." Tala said sceptically and Kai chocked on his drink. Ice-coloured orbs looked at him in amusement, wearing a flicker of confusion in them at the same time.

The older teen of course hadn't missed Kai's absentminded staring, wondering once again what the Phoenix was thinking so hard about while looking at him in such an... attentive way. Mentioned person was currently knocking at the own chest, coughing violently and Tala couldn't quite tell if the red tint in those cheeks was because of embarrassment or due to abrupt air lack.

"Are you okay?" He asked worriedly and the younger Blader nodded, recomposing again.

"Honestly, Kai, you are really... weird today." Tala's eyes met the currently inscrutable pools of fiery red, trying but failing to read any emotions in them despite his keen senses usually being apt in detecting things about others.

"What are you going to do now?" Kai fluently ignored the other's comment and finally posed the question that had bothered him for so long. He needed an answer and he found himself hoping that it would be a positive one although he wasn't exactly certain what _positive_ meant in this case.

Tala sighed. _Well,_ _I knew it would come eventually. Looks like there is no way around it. You gotta do what you gotta do, huh?_

Kai's body tensed involuntary as he watched Tala's earnest and somewhat sad expression. His heart started to pace in anticipation, intuiting that the answer would not be the one he hoped for.

"I will go back. Now that I've beaten Tyson, nothing stands in the way of us returning to Russia." Tala spoke steadily and tranquilly, as if wanting to make his decision clear to himself as well.

"You can't be serious." Kai stated quietly. Tala's words put him into a mood which you could call the calm before the storm. He was feeling strangely unruffled although he was gripping his glass so hard it might as well have shattered if he'd squeezed another bit harder. He was shaking inwardly when the disbelief, mixed with despair and anger, started to effervesce. He never knew a human could feel this way without going completely crazy.

"I'm dead serious, Kai. It is the only way I can protect you-" The young Wolf flinched as Kai forcefully slammed his glass down onto the table, the fluid inside swapping over the edge and forming a small puddle on the table top.

His ice-blue orbs met Kai's crimson eyes which flared with incensed fire. "Don't you dare, Tala. You hear me?" The words were gritted out between clenched teeth and Tala looked at the seventeen-year-old, perplexed.

"Don't you dare to use the excuse of trying to protect me. Damn it, Tala, stop freaking playing martyr! Why do you always feel the need of having to mother me?" Speaking calmly was gradually becoming a more and more difficult task for Kai to accomplish, and it showed clearly in the rising, shaky timbre of his voice.

"Kai..." Tala tried to pacify his friend. "...what do you expect from me? I know Voltaire won't leave you alone if I don't come back. He hasn't given you up yet and this will only be a reason for him to start stalking you everywhere. And who knows what comes into that sick head of his..."

"Enough!" Kai leaped up, smacking both his hands palm down onto the table top. How he hated this. How he hated his grandfather messing with everything he did and had. How he hated Tala's stupid protective instinct. His heart was beating hard in irritation and helplessness. He didn't understand why it always had to be him who had to fight and to suffer just to keep what few good things he had in this life.

"I don't want to hear that! Do you understand? I don't want to hear it!" He lowered his head, his hands clenching into fists atop the table. The powerlessness and the despair were crushing him in a way that made him want little else than screaming his very soul out so that it would stop hurting.

"Kai, please... calm down." Tala rose up his seat as well, not knowing how he should approach the younger teen. He had never seen Kai this emotional. Damn it, he only wanted to protect him. Why then, did he have the feeling that he was just torturing him instead?

"I don't want to calm down! You say you want to protect me... and how am I suppose to live with that, huh? Knowing you're back in that hell just because of me? For my sake? How should I feel about it, tell me that!" His head snapped up, ruby eyes glaring at Tala through the blur of upset, blended in with rage and desperation.

"What are you expecting from me?" The redhead exploded on his part, irately reiterating his previous question. Why did Kai always have to be so difficult? Didn't that blockhead understand how hard this all was for Tala, too?

"Honestly, Kai, what are you expecting from me?" He repeated crossly. "Should I stay here, with you and your kindergarten? And then what? Voltaire's gonna look for me and he will find me and from the moment he does, you won't have a peaceful minute anymore either. Should I then live with the fact of having ruined your life?" He inhaled sharply, his iceblue eyes staring unswervingly into those wide open crimson depths.

"Kai, it is so very simple. I will leave, and you, you can continue living your life just like you did before. All you have to do is to forget. You can be happy here, Kai. You have a good team, friends, people who love and respect you. If you want to let go of your past, for real and for good, you have to let go of me as well. Please. Don't demolish your life, not now when you finally have it. Not because of me." Tala carried on quietly, and his voice almost cracked seeing the hurt, disbelieving expression of anguish settle gradually into Kai's eyes. He saw it, saw how he was hurting his friend and deep down inside he regretted it, but it was for the better. It was, wasn't it? It was for the better like this.

Kai's world stopped turning for a moment. All the emotions were suddenly washed out, leaving him a hollow casing as he stared into those sapphire pools, stared and stared and stared and couldn't understand. Couldn't understand what was happening right now. Couldn't and didn't want to understand what Tala was saying. But those words were mercilessly gorging their way into his consciousness, banishing all thoughts. A wave of hot, acerbic pain almost caused him to wince. His chest seemed to be pressured together by metal tongs, barely a breath could escape it. He couldn't believe, didn't want to believe, refused to believe what he was hearing. After all that's been conveyed yesterday... how could he...

"Don't... Why? Why are you saying that, Tala?" He whispered, unable to raise his inflection any higher.

Tala cringed inwardly, hearing that smothered voice. Kai's eyes looked at him, unguarded and vulnerable, absolute helplessness in them. As if they were pleading for him to take the said words back, to tell him that it all was just a lie. His hands flinched with the involuntary impulse to form fists, feeling as though his soul was being ripped in two. One half was telling him it had to be like this, but the other half screamed to him he should wake up and take everything back. He stared blankly at the broken-hearted expression of the Phoenix across, seeing tears welling up in those crimson orbs, threatening to spill over. He bit his lip, hard and quick, tasting a metallic flavour in his mouth. Really, why? Why had he said that? Had it really been necessary?

"We're gonna find a way... We always did... together... didn't we, Tala? We've always found a way, haven't we?" Pleading, the voice of the younger teen wavered like one of a small child who couldn't understand why painful things were happening around him.

Tala was silent, his gaze now transfixed on his meanwhile clenched hands. He was grappling with himself. A few minutes ago he had been so sure about his decision. He had imagined the decision to leave and never look back again to be so easy. So easy to tell Kai, and just go. But the further he went the harder it was to accept his own choice. He looked up and crossed those pain-filled crimson eyes, feeling his own beginning to sting. This couldn't be right. If his decision was so good then why did it hurt so much? If it was so right, so justified, so easy...

Halt. Easy. It was easy. _Too_ easy. To go, justifying it with the fact of doing it to protect Kai, was oh so easy. Without regard of the other's feelings, without regard of his own feelings he'd just picked the easiest path to walk. Forget each other and go separate ways. He gave them up this quick. Involuntary he lowered his head in shameful realization. The whole time he was blaming Kai of running away, of leaving him hanging, of abandoning him just like that... Only yesterday, he had accused the Phoenix of having given up their friendship... yet he himself? Wasn't it exactly what he was doing right now? Was he not giving up ten years of sorrow and joy shared together, those years that so firmly connected them? He himself wanted to destroy this bond between them for good, relentlessly; in disguise of the excuse he was doing it to protect... This was oh so easy. Giving up was always easy...

"Tala...?" Kai's quiet calling made him lift his head. The young Phoenix was visibly struggling, shaken up, and Tala became aware of the fact that within two simple days, he already accomplished it twice to make Kai want to cry. Simply because his mouth wasn't good for anything else than spilling impetuous fooleries. Simply because he was too asinine to stick to what he felt and stop persistently searching for excuses. He didn't want to leave. He didn't want to go back. He wanted to stay here. With Kai. By his side.

The shorter Blader gasped in surprise when Tala came rushing up to him and caught him in a bone-crushing embrace. The oxygen got stuck in his lungs and he thought he heard his backbone breaking.

"T-Tala... What..." He breathed out, not able to move even an inch.

"I'm sorry, Kai. I... I almost gave up. More so, I hurt you over and over again with everything I did and said... You're right... We'll find a way, we always have. Forgive me, I'm such an idiot..." Tala buried his nose in those soft, dual-coloured hair, pressing Kai closer, stunned himself over how stupid he had been. To give all of this up just like that... To give Kai up just like that... No, that stood out of question. He only hoped whole-heartedly that the Phoenix could forgive him.

Kai laughed out softly, out of all disbelief and joice. Never in his life had he been so relieved. His eyes dried before a tear could have left them. He could barely sum that feeling up into decent words, the feeling that lifted the black curtain off his soul and gave him security and gratification. That unbelievable alleviation let him forget the pain and fixed the damage Tala's words had inflicted.

"You're an idiot for sure..." He accredited quietly, smiling. "And now stop squashing me before you choke me..." He added, trying to gasp in some more air. He had never thought one could embrace a person this tightly...

A relieved inhale could be heard from Kai as Tala loosened up his steely grip, however he didn't let go of the younger boy completely. Their gazes locked and suddenly, time froze. All sounds and objects, the entire surroundings abruptly stopped existing and they found themselves hypnotized by the eyes of each the other. Kai gazed into ice-blue sapphires which shone with a tranquillity he'd never seen before, while Tala stared into blood-red rubies which were shimmering beautifully and secretively despite the mild confusion in them.

Kai's heart hitched when Tala's face inched closer and warm breath ghosted over his lips. His body refused to do anything against it, on the contrary his eyes slid semi-shut, shivers hot and cold scattering down his back. Very vividly, he could perceive the heat emanating from the other's lips with the surface of his very own. Tala leaned in, mere inches separating him from that appealing pair, feeling the light tremble that ran through the lithe figure in his hold. Neither was really aware of what they were doing, their bodies acting on their own accord since both their minds had shut down, leaving the lead up to the instincts. With his heartbeat echoing fiercely in his ears Tala tilted his head just another tiny bit, aiming to ultimately close all distance between them...

Only to let the knocking on the door, bursting into the space with a rattle, drive them apart again, deep red flaming up on both pairs of cheeks. Both of them were breathing unsteadily as they dared looking at each other, comprehending simultaneously what had almost happened and averting the eyes from one another abruptly, the treacherous red deepening a shade or two.

"Kai? Hey, Kai! Are you there?" Tyson's voice resounded from behind the door.

Neither of the two boys knew if they should now thank or curse the blue-haired teen for disturbing exactly in this one moment. The concoction of different feelings lay itself heavily onto their hearts, and most of those feelings were entirely unknown and confusing.

"You should open up..." Tala said quietly, devotionally transfixing his gaze on the jug of juice, completely overwhelmed by the occurrences beforehand and the havoc of emotions within.

"Hmmm..." Kai murmured in reply, approaching the door on wobbly legs, everything inside him still quivering in agitated excitement. He wondered what Tyson might want. _I hope for him it's something damn important... _Nearly blushing again at the uncontrolled thought. What the hell was happening with him...?

* * *

*chuckles* I have been trying to keep the writing style I used before, like said, since obviously a lot of people liked it. I do hope I also could fulfil my promise considering grammar and spelling XD

Reviews, of course, had been the motivation for me to pick this story up again and certainly, they will never stop being a motivation for me to continue writing. So, if you read and enjoyed, drop me a line - you'd make me one happy bunny with it and give me some courage to proceed with this. I've been overly nervous posting this and I would like to keep this story going up until its end.

Well then! Let's see how all this will work out *laughs*

Until next chapter!

Kate


	8. Surrender

Well, I'm giving this another shot, wouldn't wanna abandon it again *looks around* After all, I promised, didn't I~ I do hope some more people will drop by, I do need motivation! *laughs* Maybe the next chapter will entice you to stop by and leave me a line.

Thanks to **I-Luv-Popcorn** at this point, I suppose this chapter goes out to you! Didn't want to leave you hanging *laughs* Hope you'll enjoy reading this as much as the previous ones, thanks for your support!

Now, on we go with chapter eight!

* * *

**Chapter 7**

**"Surrender"**

Is this real enough for you  
You were so confused  
Now that you've decided to stay  
We'll remain together

You can't abandon me  
You belong to me

Breathe in and take my life in you  
No longer myself only you  
There's no escaping me, my love  
Surrender

Darling, there's no sense in running  
You know I will find you  
Everything is perfect now  
We can live forever

You can't abandon me  
You belong to me

Breathe in and take my life in you  
No longer myself only you  
There's no escaping me, my love  
Surrender

Hands up slowly  
Give into...

Breathe in and take my life in you  
No longer myself only you  
There's no escaping me, my love  
Surrender  
Surrender  
Surrender  
Surrender

You will surrender to me  
There's no escaping from me  
I know you want it to be  
You must surrender to me

* * *

"Hey, Kai!" Tyson's fawn eyes gazed at his team leader who'd opened the door and now leisurely leaned against the doorframe with his shoulder. His blush had meanwhile, much to his relief, disappeared and his features had hardened into the typical mask his team mates were used seeing on him.

"Tyson." He said coolly and from the tone of voice the young Dragon couldn't determine whether Kai _simply_ did not want or _categorically_ did not want to see him.

"Is Tala still there?"

Kai's eyes narrowed slightly in reaction to the deceptively innocent and parenthetical question. "Tyson, what is it you want?" He asked brusquely, constant senseless small-talks as well as unwelcome queries had the tendency to get on his nerves rather quickly. Why couldn't one simply get straight to the point? Always this beating around the bush, the useless questions, the superfluous care.

"Okay, okay, don't get all in a huff already." Tyson brought up his hands in a placatory manner. Sometimes their team leader could be pretty scary. Sometimes, his eyes would gain that threatening flicker to them and his posture would make him look formidable – intimidating. Of course he never showed that openly, after all Kai was his greatest rival and who would ever show fear in front of their rival? For sure no one who went by the name of Tyson Granger. "I'm just here to say that Mr. D. wants to see us. All four of us."

"I'll be there in a moment." With a smooth movement Kai let the door elegantly fall back in lock before something else could come out of Tyson's already opened mouth. The blue-haired teen stood in front of the thrown shut wood for a while and, after scratching at the back of his head and grimacing disapprovingly, traipsed down the hallway to Mr. Dickenson's suite.

After having closed the door Kai didn't dare to turn around. Somehow, he was afraid. And he was embarrassed. And confused. Distraught. Somewhat tensed, anticipating something even if not knowing what. But the toughest task of all... the toughest task of all was to control the trembling. Why or for what reason he trembled, that his brain didn't want to reveal to him. He just knew that if he turned around and looked at Tala, his heart would once again be up to doing strange -very strange- and unusual things. Like jumping. Or racing. Or pumping all the blood into his head again.

Tala himself was feeling somewhat similar. His gaze was still adhered to the jug of juice – the orange content of it suddenly seeming highly interesting. He did not know. He tried to comprehend what had almost happened a few minutes ago, and every time his trail of thoughts stopped at one little word consisting of four letters, it refused to overcome that wall. The shimmering red eyes, the light flash of surprise and confusion in them, the barely noticeable shivering, the soft, gently quickened breathing, the warmth of enticingly red lips – all these were impressions which still rewound inside his head, back and forth, back and forth. Seconds... they had been seconds separating them. Did he regret being interrupted? Or was he relieved about it? But more importantly... what about Kai? How was the other viewing it? What was he feeling? Tala knew this topic would cause him a lot of headaches from here on.

"I..."

The head of the young Wolf was lifted as he heard Kai's quiet voice. The younger teen still stood facing the room door and to a certain point Tala was thankful for that. Nevertheless he wished that the other would turn around. He would like to see into the ruby-red eyes and try to decipher any emotions in them. At the moment he felt hopelessly clueless, forlorn. Did Kai even realize what'd almost happened? That they'd almost... His thoughts performed a careful, big circle of avoidance around that one word which, be it thought or spoken out, would indisputably and clearly state that their friendship wasn't just friendship anymore. It was something more, something strange, something incomprehensible and somehow, it was scaring Tala. The ten years of comradeship that they had... they could keep it. They could leave it be like it was, forget what'd almost happened and simply go on like nothing had ever occurred. This new, this incomprehensible something – who knew whether it would be for the better or for the worse? What if it destroyed all they had between them? If it annihilated everything and drove them apart forever? Wouldn't it be better to deny what had happened, for the sake of their friendship that had after all survived ten years of acid tests and trials?

"...have to leave for a short while. Mr. Dickenson wants to speak us." Kai's voice was uncommonly hushed. The younger boy was having a hard time to get accustomed to the thought that, if Tyson had interrupted only seconds later, Tala would have actually kissed him.

On the contrary to the redhead, his own mind had made it clear as daylight to him what would have happened the instant after it'd almost happened. It downright pressed that fact into his head and confused him all the more. He hadn't even resisted. He had been like spellbound by the fathomless, calm gaze of those ice-blue crystals and he would have permitted it, without a doubt. Did that mean he'd wanted it? Wanted it to be kissed by his best friend? But... but how was that possible? Tala was his friend. His family. How... how was that possible? How _could_ that be possible? They were friends. Friends since ten years. What... what was it, this feeling that something had irrevocably changed, that some lever had been turned for good? He couldn't make sense of himself anymore. And even less could he make sense of Tala. He had the impression of standing in a dead-end.

"Alright. I'll wait here." The Wolf gave his quiet consent to the other's suggested leaving, and Kai exited the room without turning around even once. Was he afraid? Tala could only guess. With arms crossed behind his head he lay down onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling. What a wonderful bunch of bull. Somehow he had the impression... of standing in a dead-end.

Kai had meanwhile made his way to Mr. Dickenson's suite, entering without knocking and spotting the rest of his team as well as the chubby man on the couch or respectively in the chair opposite same couch.

"Kai. Please, take a seat." The head of the BBA greeted amiably, gesturing towards the couch.

Kai nodded shortly in acknowledgment and eased down onto the couch next to Ray. It was yet of little interest to him what the man wanted of them, Tala was the uppermost in his mind right now, followed by the question of how it should go on between them from here on. They couldn't simply pretend that nothing had taken place. Could they?

"Boys, I have bad and very bad news for you." The podgy individual dabbed his bald head with his customary handkerchief, and eyed the four teenagers in front of him.

"Just spill it, Mr. D.!" Was Tyson's optimistic opinion on it even though inside, he felt pretty uneasy. It looked like the peaceful times were ultimately inclining towards the end.

"The bad news are – Biovolt sprung into action again."

Kai instantly straightened up, watching the man insistently.

"What do you mean?" He asked curtly, not liking what he heard there at all. This was the most inconvenient juncture for Biovolt to pop up again. He had his hands full dealing with himself and Tala and that... thing between them, heavens knew it was more than enough of a problem already.

"We were already reported three incidents where Bladers of the BBA had been attacked and their Bitbeasts stolen. Among them Oliver of the Majestics. He is adamantly convinced of the fact that the attacker had been no one else but Bryan." The BBA Boss informed sorrowfully.

"Oh, that's just great, those guys again. Though I'm surprised that they have the guts to get to business without their team leader." That earned Tyson a warning glare from Kai. He supposed that the blue-haired teen had Tala in his bad books but that didn't mean he could get off with everything. Should an insult addressed at Tala personally be made by the other, Kai was ready to stand up for his friend.

"Tyson is right. Without Tala, the Demolition Boys are only half as strong." Ray acceded, wondering if the redhead was still around and how he might be doing. He'd looked pretty busted after the clash with Tyson yesterday and prior to worrying about what consequences his presence here could have, the young Chinese was concerned about the other boy's health. Tala was still a human being first and foremost, and from what he'd gathered neither of the Demolition Boys were evil at heart. They'd just been made into vicious villains by those who pulled the strings from behind the scenes. Not the teenagers themselves were to blame for it, but those who'd used and _ab_used them for the own contemptible motives.

"And this is exactly what leads us to the even worse news. Kai, it concerns you especially." Wiping at his forehead again, Mr. Dickenson turned to the Half-Russian who frowned.

"My grandfather, am I right?" Kai gritted out. Tala's apprehensions seemed to confirm themselves.

"Yes. He demands yours and Tala's return."

"Is he nuts?" Tyson was instantly up in arms against the statement, which earned him a clout from Max.

"Jeez, be quiet, will you!"

"Ouch! What was that for?"

"And his leverage would be?" Ignoring the friendly bickering of his team mates, the Phoenix held his gaze focused on the chubby man who admitted in defeat:

"The looted Bitbeasts. Should he bring more of them into his possession and convert their energy, he would be having a powerful weapon in his hands. A huge energy bomb which could wreck an immense amount of destruction." Needless to say only Biovolt was capable and crazy enough to develop a procedure that could alter Bitbeasts into something that deadly and dangerous. One had to cringe thinking about what other inventions they might have come up with by now, if they didn't even shy away from transforming parts of human body to serve their purposes.

Oppressing silence filled the room, no one really knowing what was to do or say now. A solution had to be found, but what one? What _could_ they do? Kai was chewing on his bottom lip. He couldn't believe that his grandfather had proceeded to action this quickly. So Tala had been right, Voltaire still haven't given him up. Moreover, he wanted his return to Biovolt. That thought made him shudder.

"Kai?" Ray's quiet voice brought him out of his thoughts and he looked up into the Tiger's concerned, gold-hued eyes.

"You hopefully don't consider going back?" The black-haired teen questioned caringly and in reply, Kai was only able to shrug his shoulders. He didn't know yet what he should be doing and no one of them could really help him there.

"You're not going back!" Tyson protested immediately. "Do you think that's gonna stop him from stealing Bitbeasts? Never in a million years would he keep his word!"

Kai huffed lightly but had to accredit the other's point. Them returning was surely no guarantee at all that Voltaire would stop in his plans. On the contrary, he probably would aim to achieve them all the more, and likely find some ways and means to force both Kai and Tala to help him.

"Ty is right. We have to tackle this differently." Max eyed their team leader over worriedly. He couldn't even begin imagining how hard it was on Kai to be confronted with his past again, wishing they would have been able to spare him that – after all that had happened, Kai deserved to finally live and be left in peace. Damn Biovolt to hell, together with their nutcase of a chief.

"I have to speak about it with Tala." The Phoenix finally rose up his seat. It was the best he could come up with. Perhaps they could find some kind of solution together, after all this was concerning both of them and Tala had to be informed.

"You trust the guy? He'd sure be happy to drag you back to Biovolt!"

"Shut up!" Kai hissed at the young Dragon upon hearing those words. Who did he think he was? Albeit, he couldn't know of what had occurred between Kai and Tala in the past few days. He understood Tyson only worried, yet still...

"Kai, are you sure you can trust Tala?" Mr. Dickenson asked as well, doubt in his voice.

Kai nodded constrainedly and tried to keep his emotions at bay. _They simply don't know anything. Which is partly my own fault, I never told them about myself and Tala. Just don't flip out. They mean well. _He reasoned with himself and it seemed to work.

"Yes, I can trust him. Likely even more than any of you." That said he exited the room, ignoring the stunned looks.

"Should I say – told you so?" Tala asked after Kai had rendered to him what he had come to know. He sat in the armchair and the younger teen stood by the window, his gaze directed out of it at the mid-autumn scenery. The weather was dreary and dismal... much like his mood.

"No. Do you think he wouldn't have executed his sick little scheme if you had returned? Do you think he would have gone back to Russia and lived his life as a docile leader of an inconspicuous abbey? I'm sure he had planned this long ago already. Whether we're game or not is of no real importance." Saying that dryly the Phoenix stared at the pelting rain outside. It was evening already, the city plunged into a gloomy grey, the clouds black. The single raindrops couldn't even be discerned – they had melted into sole, cascading lines.

Tala remained silent. Kai was right somewhere, Voltaire would never keep quiet as long as Biovolt existed. It really was of no difference whether Tala would have returned or not. He only regretted dragging Kai into all of it. But... most likely the younger Blader would have been dragged into it one way or another anyhow. _Seems it really doesn't make any difference. Still I'm glad to have stayed at his side. Here, I can watch out for him. And have him nearby..._ That last thought involuntary led to the happenings before. He still had no clue what Kai was thinking and how he felt about it. Was he purposely avoiding the topic? Or did he not want to talk about it? Was it embarrassing for him? The questions gnawed at the redhead, and didn't back off.

"Tala?"

"Hm?" Tala answered absentmindedly, lost in thoughts.

"You don't intent to go, do you?" Kai closed his eyes briefly while enquiring that. He was afraid, once again. Afraid of Tala's answer. Of what was lying before them. Of the fact that perhaps, they wouldn't be able to find any solution at all. Of the fact that his grandfather might win. He didn't want this fight. But most of all he wanted to know what was going on between Tala and himself. There was something! Damn it, he sensed that tension between them and he knew, just like Tala, of the reason for it.

"When will you stop asking me that?" Tala counter-questioned and stood up from the armchair. He approached Kai and halted a few steps away from him.

"When you'll give me a conclusive, clear answer." Was the simple reply. As calm as he appeared to be outwardly, as stirred up Kai was within. He perceived Tala behind him and it cost a lot to restrain his body from showing a treacherous tremor. Since when did Tala have such effects on him? It hadn't been like this ever before. But now wasn't before. Now was now.

"Are you afraid?" The Wolf questioned softly, watching a slight flinch bother Kai's shapely form.

"What of?"

Tala shrugged. "Don't know."

Hush spread around them; more words somehow didn't seem appropriate. Just the steady drumming of rain atop the roofs and the trees was audible. It was dim inside the room, the grey light projecting long, dark shadows onto the walls. The sun was obscured by thick clouds, as well as the entire firmament itself. It was oppressing.

"What... would you do if I decided to go?"

Kai turned around, eyes narrowed. Why was Tala asking something like that? Did he really want to...? No. That couldn't be true. The face of his opposite was calm and concentrated and Kai understood that Tala didn't intend to go anywhere. He was just asking... Just a question...

"I wouldn't let you." He answered with a shrug of shoulders.

Tala rose a brow and tilted his head some. _A strange answer. How does he mean it? Does he want to lock me up in his room or what? I wouldn't put it past him, though... I wonder... does he really care for me that much?_

Under the surprised but still penetrative gaze of the older teen, Kai started to feel edgy. There it was again, that atmosphere between them that sent an odd sensation throughout him. Slowly, this incertitude was becoming too much. Something just wasn't right here.

"Tala, why do you always keep bringing this up? Why do you always ask such stupid questions?" He finally whispered, not aware of having lowered his voice quite that much but in the silence around them the normal sound intensity somehow seemed like shouting.

" I don't understand why you're always getting so worked up about it." Tala's ice-blue orbs noticed the flare-up of anger in Kai's eyes.

"You're an idiot!" The younger boy hissed. "Sometimes you talk such nonsense, one has no other choice but to get worked up! Are you doing it on purpose?" Kai himself wasn't noticing he was becoming irate again. The emotional chaos within him slowly grew into dimensions that he couldn't bottle up completely anymore. He sensed that it threatened to break out. He had never been exposed to such emotional distress, especially since he didn't really know _what_ exactly it was he was feeling. What he was feeling when he looked at Tala. When the other spoke of going, leaving... He wanted to hold him there... Forever.

"Between the two of us it's certainly you who's acting weirdly! I really don't get you anymore, Kai! Why do you keep blowing your stack at every little thing I say or do?" Tala countered, aggravated as well over his friend's strange behaviour.

There was simply too much unspoken and unsolved between them, but neither of them really dared to voice any of it out. To hide the feelings behind a mask of rage and abnegation was oh so much easier. They haven't even admitted those feelings to themselves, how should they be able to admit it to each other?

"And just what should I do? Everything was perfectly normal before you popped up again! First your suicidal stunt, then the 'forget me' and suchlike bullshit, and then you just go and almost kiss me...!" Kai clapped a hand over his mouth and Tala sucked in a sharp breath.

_You idiot! What the hell came over you to say that?_ The young Phoenix thought frantically, terrified. In all his fury the words had flown out all by themselves without him being able to stop them. Wide-eyed, he only stared at the redhead.

Wumm! It hit Tala like a fisticuff. The whole time through his mind had thoroughly shunned that word and diligently sent his thoughts on a nice detour whenever Tala was about to as much as think about what had almost happened... It had almost been a... a... kiss. He had almost kissed his best friend, the boy he knew for ten long years already. How should he feel about it? What should he think of it? What should he say about it? Tala didn't have the faintest of clues. He just stared into Kai's aghast eyes and couldn't think straight.

"Forget that..." Kai finally muttered in a smothered voice and wanted to bail. He was bashful. Very much so. It was difficult to see in the darkness of the room, but deep red was gracing his cheeks, thankfully partially hidden also by the blue paint arranged in neat triangles on his skin. He wanted one thing only - to be far away from here.

His plan was promptly traversed by Tala taking a swift step forward and stemming his hand into the wall to Kai's left. In reaction, the Phoenix pressed himself into same wall, all the stronger when the right hand of the red-haired teen settled on the wall next to the other side of his face, ultimately cutting off his retreat. A shiver tantalized his body as he looked up into those ice-blue seas, trying not to drown in them the next instant.

"Don't even think about absconding now." It resounded quietly but assertively from the taller teen, having trapped the other he was now being able to look into fearfully shimmering red depth from a very close range. Fine. If Kai wanted to cut right to the chase of the matter, he could have his way. Tala had never been someone who ran away from anyone, or anything.

"Tala..." Kai's slender figure was lined up against the wall, cautious about not touching the Wolf, which was turning out to be rather difficult in view of the fact how close he stood. He couldn't get away either, caged between the outstretched arms and the body of the other. All that only resulted in another shiver slithering down his spine and helplessly, he could only gaze back into ice-hued orbs which scrutinized him in an indefinable manner.

"So? I've almost kissed you, okay. It didn't seem to me like you had all too many objections against it, though." He was speaking slowly and calmly, attentively watching the Phoenix's countenance. It was a plain fact – if it hadn't been for Tyson's appearance then it would have been a kiss and it was no use in trying to extrude or cover it up. Tala accepted it, but he wanted to know what Kai was thinking about it. Was he reproaching Tala because of it? Or had he wanted it just as much? This cat-and-mouse game obviously had to end. Something was seriously wrong between them, something was disturbing them whenever they were together, something detained them from being carefree and loose around each other.

Kai bit upon his lower lip in unease. What did one expect of him to say? He didn't even know himself why he hadn't pushed the other away. Why he had seemed willing to permit it... He would have allowed that kiss, of this he was sure. He would have even wanted it, somehow, somewhere... or wouldn't he? But... Tala was his friend. His friend. Right from the cradle.

"What now? Are you silent because you don't know it or because you don't want to say it?" The melody of the young Wolf's smooth timbre brought him back from his desperate musing.

"I... I don't know..." He whispered, lowering his head. All that confusion was wearing him out. Why couldn't it all just remain how it had been? Why did it all end up like this? What the hell was all of this about anyway? It was not fair... not fair...

"Kai? Look at me." Tala requested and rolled his eyes when Kai faintly shook his head. _Like a stubborn kid, I swear..._

"Kai, please. Look at me." He softly asked of him again.

Hesitantly, as though in slow-motion, Kai lifted his head. His ruby-red eyes looked up insecurely, confusion and despair mixed up in them. He couldn't imagine how Tala had to feel about all of this. He wasn't even sure about what he himself was feeling. His eyes widened as Tala leaned in a little and their noses touched in ghost contact.

"Tala... what..." He exhaled in stun but his gaze stayed captive in the binding circle of the taller teen's ice-hued orbs.

"Shhh. Say nothing now..." Tala whispered and bridged over the last bits of distance between them, gently pressing his lips to the other's velvet pair.

Kai's world turned upside down in the very moment of feeling same warm lips on the pliant surface of his own. Helplessly he brought up his hands and rested them against Tala's chest, pushing him away some but there was no force behind the action, all his strength seemed to have faded completely. His widely opened eyes, both terrified and overly astounded, stared into the sapphire-hued depths before slowly sliding semi-shut.

Tala moved his lips softly against the Phoenix's supple pair, tracing the outline of the lower one with his tongue. Crimson eyes, befuddled, still looked back at him through a mesh of thin, deeply lowered eyelashes, and lingeringly, Kai opened his mouth a crack. A small flinch and a mild gasp were the reactions as he slipped his tongue inside, tasting the lovely flavour hidden beyond. Kai's eyelashes ultimately fluttered close fully and his fingers abruptly curled into the other's white jacket since his legs seemed ready to deny him their service. The magnitude of all feelings, perceptions and impressions was simply too overwhelming. A quiet moan escaped his chest as Tala gently ravished his cavern, making him slightly dizzy with the lack of air and the sensations rattling throughout his body. _Oh... my..._ But barely a comprehensive thought could form inside his dazed mind. This was... Tala was... they were...

Slowly, Tala reclined again, releasing his lips and Kai leaned his head back against the wall, breathing quickened and unsteady to compensate the deprival of oxygen, eyes still screwed shut tightly. Everything seemed to be spinning, a jittery feeling expanding in the pit of his stomach, causing all inside him to quiver. Faithfully, the reddish colour found back onto his cheeks as he realized what had happened just now. So many emotions were rushing through him that he couldn't even grasp them all, let alone define them. It was too much, too fast, too strong... and yet, absolutely beautiful.

Without opening his eyes he loosened his dead grip on Tala's spotless jacket and leaned forward, hiding his face on that firm chest. Tala's arms went around him protectively, providing security and warmth.

"Tala... I..." In a shaky voice, he attempted to start a sentence of which he barely even knew the beginning.

"Shhh. Say nothing now." The Wolf hushed him once more, and pressed him another bit closer.

Words... just didn't belong into this moment.

* * *

End for now ^_^ I hope you liked the chapter, comments are love and an always greately appreciated encourgment.

Thank you for reading and hopefully, see you next chapter!


	9. Cloud Nine

Yay *claps hands* So people are reading this after all ^_^ Makes me a happy author *laughs* So since there's no possibility to reply to you via a comment like say LiveJournal is offering, let's do a round of gratitude in the preface, shall we~

**Miako6** - Cute they are indeed *chuckles* And oh, Takao-kun seeing it would have been an interesting scenario to have, eh~ XD I hope the chapter came soon enough and thank you!

**I-Luv-Popcorn** - Glad to hear you enjoyed reading ^_^ We shall see if one kiss is all there is... *chuckles* Thank you! *leglomp*

**Laura-NekoChan** - Happy you still like the story, even after the awfully long break there was *scratches head* I'm delighted to be back as well! *laughs* Thank you for staying faithful, I appreciate your approval, support and encouragment A LOT! No worries, I'm completely content with your review, I just hope you got a good rest and are well and happy ^_^ Glad you've been looking forward to this one. Kudos!, and thank you once again!

**Sonya **- Thank you! Happy you enjoy reading. My English did get a lot better during my two years absence from indeed *laughs* so I shall hope it'll continue to please you throughout this story.

Now I'll stop talking; there you go with the next one!

* * *

**Chapter 8**

**"Cloud Nine"**

If you want to live, let live  
If you want to go, let go  
I'm not afraid to dream, to sleep, sleep forever  
I don't need to touch the sky  
I just want to feel that high,  
And you refuse to lift me

Guess it wasn't real after all  
Guess it wasn't real all along

If I fall and all is lost,  
It's where I belong

If you want to live, let live  
If you want to go, let go  
I'm never gonna be your sweet, sweet surrender

Guess it wasn't real after all  
Guess it wasn't real all along

If I fall and all is lost,  
No light to lead the way,  
Remember that all alone is where I belong

In a dream,  
Will you give your love to me?  
Beg my broken heart to beat,  
Save my life, change my mind

If I fall and all is lost.  
No light to lead the way.  
Remember that all alone is where I belong

* * *

He'd been in the bathroom for some fair hours already. Hours since he left Tala's embrace and disappeared into this room to be alone with himself and his thoughts.

Kai sighed and stemmed his hands onto the edge of the bathtub he was sitting upon. Opposite him was the sink with the mirror above it but fortunately, he sat low enough to not be able to see the own reflection. He didn't know if he would recognize himself. What had happened? Just now, a few hours ago, in his hotel room, what had happened there? He searched and searched but couldn't find any answer to that. He was confused, more than that, he actually felt overly disarrayed and befuddled. It was like he had awoken from a dream but didn't know if he was awake or still sleeping. It was so surreal. So ungraspable. So impossible and yet it had happened.

His eyes swayed to the side, taking a white bottle of shampoo into sight. The lights in the bathroom were out, thanks to the switch being placed within the room against the common rules; thus it was pleasantly dark around him. The small window high up permitted sparse moonlight in, so he guessed the clouds must have dispersed. Nevertheless he still heard the clatter of tireless rain atop the roof.

Strange, how everything had happened, wasn't it? He remembered back where he had merely hoped to be able to exchange a word with Tala again and now they'd even kissed. At the thought, a wave of warmth swapped over his body, followed by a soft shiver. Right... the kiss... That was exactly the fact Kai's mind desperately tried to understand. It had been so quick, so unexpected, so sudden that it was simply difficult to comprehend. He really didn't know what to think or how to feel about it. Heavens, he didn't even know if he _wanted_ to feel anything about it at all. Tala, he... he was his friend. Had been? Still was? Could one remain _friends_ after a kiss? How should he behave towards the older teen now? He certainly couldn't pretend nothing had happened. But...

With another quiet sigh he gripped the shampoo bottle and turned it around in his hands a couple of times. It was too dark to decipher what was written on the label, not that he cared in any way what kind of a shampoo bottle he was holding in the first place.

What was the Wolf doing right now? Surely he had his own thoughts to tend to, or maybe he'd gone to bed already. Kai couldn't imagine a why for Tala's actions. Couldn't find a reason but on the other hand, he wasn't Tala. One thing for sure, the older teen always had reasons for doing what he did and Kai would very much like to know what the redhead had been thinking when he decided to take such a step. He had never noticed that Tala... well... that he swayed that way. To hell, a short while ago he hadn't even noticed about himself that he was homosexual in any kind of sense. Was he? He hadn't really thought about love, dates and girls much. To Kai, love was only in the way, dates where a senseless waste of time and girls were annoying, shrieking creatures which didn't interest him much. He never asked himself if his disinterest in all that could be out of mentioned simple reason. He simply hadn't grappled with it and he hadn't had a reason to do so either. But now, Tala had turned everything inside out.

With that thought, he pushed open the cap of the shampoo bottle and clapped it close again with a small click. Pausing for a second, he repeated the action and pensively watched the cap jump open and close.

Tala had been different in the past. When he'd been around 16, he had been going out a lot. They had been normal girls – sometimes one who he had had a match against, sometimes an admirer, sometimes simply one he had met at a cafe or in a club. He had always tried to tug Kai along, but the Phoenix had always declined and preferred to spend his time training. Kai guessed he had always put Beyblading first, and he had never noticed being angry or jealous if Tala had been going out. He simply hadn't ever cared because he had known that Tala wouldn't do anything stupid. He had known that the other simply needed that – to relax then and again, to spend a nice evening and an even nicer night, simply chill out and calm down after all the stress and strain the Abbey had been putting them through day by day. Because if the older boy hadn't had a possibility to do so for too long, they would've come to feel the consequences later on. Kai had always been able to stand his ground well, but the other bladers of the abbey would often have dust left instead of their Blades.

A soft smile played across Kai's lips as he remembered back. The cap of the bottle snapped close once more and he turned the item upside down. It was semi-empty, as he came to realize, feeling the thick fluid inside creep along the plastic walls, the weight shifting to the bottom. He kept the bottle standing atop his open palm, balancing it slightly.

After he had changed sides and joined the Bladebreakers, Kai had been often asking himself how Tala was doing. Sometimes he would wake up in the middle of the night and look around for another bed in the room where the redhead would be sleeping peacefully in, but he would find nothing and he wouldn't hear the other's breathing either. Afterwards, he wouldn't be able to fall asleep anymore, just sitting on the bed and staring out of the window, sunk into memories or thinking about random things.

He had had troubles getting used to the jaunty, carefree life his team mates were leading. Always, when doing something that was fun and actually totally senseless, he'd had to think of Tala and asked himself what the other was doing in that one moment, what condition he was in and if he was thinking about Kai as well. Then Tyson would start to get on his nerves asking of him to 'please stop looking so grumpy and relax once in a while' whereupon Kai would give some snappy reply so after a small bicker they'd solve the problem in a beyblade match.

No matter how it would turn out like and who would be the winner –though mostly it'd end in a draw- Kai was always right after all and Tyson eventually backed off. Then the young team leader's thoughts would drift off to his best friend again. Only now did Kai actually begin suspecting that Tyson might have been doing that on purpose, to pull him out of his constant, not rarely rather heavy musings. The young Dragon wasn't as stupid and careless as he often liked to put forth, but it was part of his charm that had by now gathered so many friends around him. Ultimately, even Kai himself had been drawn to him because of all his beyblade and people skills alike.

The shampoo bottle threateningly inclined to one side as he, sunk in thoughts, moved his hand a little. The contents gathered on one side of the bottle and in the end, it tilted over. Kai caught it swiftly with his other hand and almost slipped off the edge of the bathtub in progress. Troublesomely he maintained equilibrium and straightened his body out again, bottle in hand.

He asked himself if his relationship with Tala was now bound to change itself forever. He couldn't, he just couldn't behave towards the other the same as always. Not after the occurrences before. He admitted Tala was important to him, he had always been important to Kai and even if he never spoke it out loud, he cared deeply for the Wolf. More than he had ever cared for anyone else. Perhaps even more than he cared for the own self. But... did that really mean that he... well... somehow... harboured stronger feelings for the other than just a devoted friendship? _I mean, come on, I wouldn't permit it simply for shits and giggles, would I? Damn it, I kissed him back no less!_ And while thinking that he realized that actually, it had been his first kiss. And that, with a boy. Not with just some boy, mind you, no, with Tala. Tala of all people. Could matters become any more complicated at all?

The cap of the bottle opened with a click and Kai turned the item upside down once again. He attentively watched the glossy-white, viscous substance ooze out into his hand. It felt chilly on his skin. Now that he had a small, white splotch in his palm, he shut the bottle again and finally left it in peace, putting it down. His eyes focused on the faintly shimmering splotch in his hand while his thoughts did another loop inside his head.

Biovolt had reappeared and with it a huge problem for Kai himself. He had thought they would finally be left in peace by his grandfather and those machinations of his but apparently, he had been way off. Like always, it was the most inconvenient moment ever for his only relative to start troubling him again. Right now, where himself and Tala were standing at such a completely indecipherable point of their relationship, where Kai's own feelings were in such a confusion and disarray, right now where he didn't know if he had the power and will to thwart Biovolt's plans once more. He was afraid. Afraid of the own way of thinking. With this attitude, he wouldn't be able to do shit against Biovolt. But it wasn't only his attitude – his emotional state wasn't exactly the best one either to play superhero and try to save the whole goddamn world. Again. He had enough own problems; he simply couldn't focus on anything else. And he hated his grandfather for that. As strongly and as deeply as humanly possible.

His hand clenched into a fist, crushing the soft dab of shampoo in it and causing the sticky mass to deliquesce. As he unfurled his fingers again, his whole palm was smeared and slippery. He grimaced in dissatisfaction but had no desire to stand up and make those few steps to the sink. Besides, he would contingently have to look into the mirror then and what he had even less of a desire to do was see the own face right now. Thus he turned his torso some and switched on the faucet of the bathtub. Leaning in a little he held the hand coated in shampoo under the thin water spray, letting the cool fluid wash the undesired substance off his skin. His ruby-red eyes followed the water's flow as it trickled down his hand into the bathtub, whirling and disappearing into the plughole.

He had to talk to Tala tomorrow. It was unavoidable. But where and how should he start? He himself didn't even know for sure what he was feeling or thinking. _Let's see... what am I thinking about when I think of Tala? He's a friend. Great. We've been there already. I care about him. Dandy, next point. I want him to stay with me. No, that belongs to the wish-list category... Come on, Hiwatari, you can at least be honest with yourself! Who are you trying to fool? No one but yourself, you idiot. Let's start over again... Tala... what occurs to you in connection with him? He's a good blader. He's secretive... and temperamental. Very much so. Actually, he hits the roof pretty quickly. He's a good friend. I'm repeating myself. That can't be all, can it? Okay, without wanting to sound weird, he's handsome. There's nothing up against that, is there? He's pretty annoying at times. But then again, he's sometimes quite calm and mysterious, too. He's always so serious and concentrated when he's deep in thoughts. He's strong. Not only physically, he's a strong personality in general, and sometimes pretty reckless if you think back on that stunt he pulled fighting Tyson... And he looks cute when he's sleeping... _

"Woah!" Perplexed from that sudden out-of-nowhere thought he lost balance and had to grip at the faucet with both his hands to not tilt over into the bathtub face first. His torso literally hung in the air while he tried to regain composure, suppressing a blush and hearing his heart pounding in his ears partly from the experienced almost-fall and partly from the unusual sentiment that had crossed his mind.

_**That**__ definitely doesn't belong in there. Tala's not 'cute'! These two words simply don't match! There surely is a rule existing that forbids to use them together in a sentence! Damn it. I think I need a decent nap or my skull's going to explode sometime soon... A pleasant thought in comparison to waking up tomorrow and having to deal with all this crap all over again... _

Kai released his grip on the faucet and straightened out. One hand was still wet and he studied it for a moment, then shrugged his shoulders and wiped it dry on his dark pants. With a leap he got up onto his feet again and his gaze briefly grazed the towel in immediate reach, swaying to the moist spot on his pants again. _Stuff it..._ He shrugged once more and finally exited the bathroom.

Holy shit, how much time did he spend in that bathroom? It was deep night already, and he was proven right in his earlier assumption – Tala was already asleep. So he approached the bed quietly, got out of his clothes, put a light T-Shirt on and slipped under the blanket. The older teen lay with his back towards him and he watched it for a moment before turning over onto the other side. Exhausted, he closed his eyes and the sleep didn't let to wait long. Listening to the quiet breathing of the blue-eyed creature next to him he submerged into the world of dreaming a short while after.

_Two little boys, around nine years of age, stood in a yard with concrete ground. The yard was surrounded with a high wall demarking it from the huge road which lay behind and was frequented with countless cars. People hurried to their business, some crossed the road ignoring the traffic light not so far off, causing the one or the other driver to hit the brakes, hump and start a pissed off tirade. _

_The shorter boy leaned with his back against same wall, the taller one standing in front of him. _

_"...so I told him to go to hell. I think there'll be trouble." The taller boy ended his sentence but there was no spark of fear in his iceblue orbs. He sounded rather amused about what he'd said. _

_"He's going to wring your neck sometime soon, Tala. Boris is no man to fuck around with." The shorter existence shrugged. His ruby-red eyes swayed across the yard where a lot of kids of different age were blading or simply standing around and chatting with each other. It was the half-an-hour break. A small recreation pause before the harsh drill would be resumed. _

_"Tsk, I'd like to see that. That lapdog's yapping so much only because Voltaire's holding his hand over him. He'd be lunched long ago otherwise." Tala spat to the side in disgust, crossing his arms over his chest. _

_Upon hearing the hated name, the younger boy's face was overshadowed with vast displeasure for a moment, his eyes narrowing slightly as he felt anger boiling up._

_"Hey, don't think too much of it, Kai. You're gonna kick your grandpa's ass someday. And I'm gonna help you do it." The features of the redhead smoothened out a little, voice growing softer. _

_Kai kept silent but a small, grateful smile pulled at his lips barely noticeably. _

_"Well, would you look at this? If that's not Voltaire's little grandspawn." Two robust looking boys stopped next to them, abhorrently sneering grins on their youthful faces. _

_Kai's body tensed as he looked up directly into the eyes of one boy who was a good head taller than him._

_"What do you two morons want? Fuck off while you're still able to walk straight." Tala cut off, blue eyes flashing up dangerously._

_"See who's shooting off his mouth. If that's not our dear Tala." A comment followed by a confident smirk. _

_"What else should he do, Sven? S__ince little Kai's as silent as a grave again. What's wrong, did Voltaire's precious darling swallow his tongue?" The other offender added, laughing out. _

_No word left Kai's lips still as he launched forward in a rapid movement, colliding his firm fist with the stomach of the nearest boy who doubled over in reaction to the harsh hit, succumbing to an impact of a sharp elbow on the back of his brown-haired head for a finishing blow. He crumbled to the ground with a gasp, and remained unmoving. The boy now known as Sven rushed Kai's way but was prevented from reaching him by Tala's nicely swung leg connecting hard bone to a fragile face. The broken nose splashed blood and Sven's knees hit the ground, the boy howling in pain while covering the damaged breathing organ with his hands. _

_"__Пидор__." (Asshole.) Kai finally spoke derisively, voice strained with fury, spitting to the side of Sven's unconscious friend, eyes ablaze with contempt. _

_"We're receiving a visit." Tala nodded to the direction where an enraged Boris was approaching from, __already barking something on his way to them. _

_Kai just shrugged his shoulders indifferently and Tala grinned, shaking his head._

_"I swear, Kai, one's got nothing but trouble with you." He said amusedly, patting the shorter boy's shoulder._

_"That you have enough of without me as well." The young Phoenix stated, grinning faintly, too. _

Crimson eyes slid open slowly and Kai blinked a few times to clear his vision. A strange dream. Or rather, it's been a memory. About the past times...

The sun shone merrily through the translucent window and his gaze fell upon the clock standing atop the nightstand, telling him the time. Half past eight.

He sat up in the bed and looked to the side, but Tala wasn't there. The rush of water in the bathroom gave away the whereabouts of the 18-year-old, though. Yawning, Kai got up and got dressed. He stepped to the window for a look outside; the clouds were accumulating again and the sunlight weakened when a few of them came to partially curtain the golden disc. The wind was strong and the treetops swayed and trembled at the powerful gusts, leaves sailed to the ground, some of them caught and hurriedly carried away by the wind.

His gaze focused on a small dog tracking a young woman. The animal had a very short, dark-brown fur and constantly tried to hide behind its mistress from the biting cold breezes of air. The woman smiled compassionately, bending down and picking the tiny creature up, unbuttoning her coat to press her four-legged friend to her chest, holding the coat close with the other hand then. Only the muzzle of the dog was peeking out now and looking at the happily shining, black orbs one could tell the animal was more than comfortable.

A small smile graced Kai's lips.

Just that picture was what greeted Tala as he stepped out of the bathroom again. He liked the smile he saw, very much so, wondering what had gotten the younger teen so delighted. Kai didn't seem to have noticed him and somehow, he was content with that. It meant they could adjourn _it_ for a little longer. The young Wolf didn't know how to face his friend now. They couldn't leave things at old standards, but what troubled him the most was the fact that he couldn't find any reason for the own behaviour yesterday. He couldn't find that little devil that had nudged him to kiss Kai. He just knew that it had had something to do with the sight he'd been confronted with; that forlorn and sad expression on the other's handsome face must have been the trigger. He simply hadn't known how else to act in order to help Kai feel better. It just had seemed like the right thing to do in that one moment. He'd just wanted Kai to be happy again. He was aware that he'd destroyed and disrupted many things with his reappearance in the other's life, yet all the same, he didn't regret having stayed, neither did he feel guilt over having kissed Kai but what was about the young Phoenix himself? Did Kai regret?

A mild sigh to his side was what alerted the younger teen. He hadn't noticed Tala's presence up until that point and now his eyes swayed their gaze to meet the redhead's. Tensed silence descended around them and neither Blader knew what to say although both knew that something had to be said.

"Good morning." Tala sounded eventually and Kai's face fell. Out of all possibilities, he had expected this sentence the least. _The guy has some nerve. Good morning, he says. As if nothing was. _He thought forlornly and Tala raised a brow in question. Sure, it might have been not the smartest thing to say but unfortunately it was all he'd been able to come up with. Aside of that one other thing...

"Uhm... Morning..." The Phoenix finally responded, recomposing and keeping up an aloof demeanour.

"I'd contemplated the thing with Biovolt yesterday while you'd barricaded yourself in the bathroom." Tala spoke again and Kai started to feel uneasy. As he knew the other, Tala had some radical solution, if that was the thing he had thought so thoroughly about yesterday.

"I haven't barricaded myself." He gainsaid and tried to sound nonchalant, which even worked. Half-decently.

"Yes, you have." A fleeting, amused argument. "Anyway, I thought I should return to Biovolt." Which was that one other thing. Tala actually considered his plan a good one but judging Kai's expression the younger teen didn't share that opinion with him at all.

Kai's eyes had widened, Tala was talking about it as if it all was most natural. "What?" He breathed out whereupon Tala rose his hands in a pacifying manner.

"Before you go ballistic on me, let me finish speaking. I could provide us with some useful information that way: what Voltaire's plan's looking like, where he has the Bitbeasts hidden and how serious he is about all of it. Can you follow me? I could..."

"Are you completely nuts?" Kai interrupted the other mid-sentence, eyes flickering with indignation.

Tala flinched. He had known it alright that Kai would get upset but the younger Blader looked like he was about to hurl the next best object at him. Nevertheless he still claimed his plan to be expedient. After all they could gain knowledge that way, knowledge they absolutely needed to be able to do something about Biovolt. Something effective and quick.

"Tala, honestly, sometimes I wonder if there's anything aside hot air inside your thick skull! That's the most moronic idea I've ever heard from you!" Kai continued heatedly, a frown forming on the Wolf's features.

"Now, come off it, okay? It's not that moronic at all. Voltaire would believe me should I return and he'd involve me in his sick little plan one hundred per cent. After all, I'm still the only one who's able to skilfully lead and use his bunch of beyblading knuckleheads. From his point of view, I wouldn't have a reason to stay here anyway. He's gonna believe me. I see nothing moronic about my idea whatsoever." Tala parried. Why did the Phoenix buck against it so ferociously? It was a good plan and eminently reasonable.

Kai was aware of that, too. Aware that the plan was indeed good, very good even, but... but... He couldn't let Tala go. He didn't know why but imagining him returning to Biovolt... imagining him staying all alone there... not to mention how freaking dangerous it was because should Biovolt see through Tala's game there were no doubts that...

"Tala, they're gonna kill you slow and painful, do you realize that?" He said quietly and his eyes searched for comprehension in the other's expression. Yet Tala had put on his perfect, hard mask, indifferent and emotionless; the one Kai hated with a passion. It was a facade even he had troubles seeing through.

"They're not gonna kill me if they don't know anything about it, and find out they won't. I can play my role excellently when I need to, and you know that." He replied calmly. Within him however, doubt reigned. It was dangerous, he knew that but they needed a swift solution because Biovolt wouldn't wait forever. They were running out of time.

"Oh yes, you can. You're a perfect actor, Tala." Kai said bitterly, every word incisive and hard, falling from his lips like stones. The name of the older teen was spoken the harshest, nearly spat out.

"What's that supposed to mean again?" Asking, Tala's eyes narrowed a little. He didn't like the tone of that voice nor the state Kai was in, not at all. For hell's sake, what was so extraordinary bad about his plan? It was good and risks were always there; whatever plan was absolutely watertight? Tala was ready to take those risks, like he always had been.

Kai however, was anything _but_ ready to take them, those risks. The sole thought of losing Tala drove him mad. However, it were Tala's own insouciance and blindness that were getting at him the most. How could one be like this? Didn't Tala fear for himself? Kai feared for him, very much so, and it was aggravating the hell out of him that the other couldn't understand that. In whatever way else could he make it clear to the Wolf that he cared about him? And what about yesterday? What kind of stunt had that been? Questions atop questions and no answers. Slowly, that mountain was outgrowing Kai.

"That's supposed to mean that you're an asshole, Tala. You can't just stand there and keep changing your mind – I'm going, I'm not going, I'm leaving, I'm not leaving. Do you even know what you're doing to me with that?" His intonation was rising but he was still able to control himself well enough to not start shouting.

"Kai, if this is about yesterday..." Tala's own voice grew softer, his gaze warmer. He knew how Kai felt in face of that fact, Tala himself didn't feel much different. He was just as confused as the young Phoenix was but there was no time to think. He couldn't deal with it right now, whether they liked it or not Biovolt had priority.

"No, Tala, it's not only about yesterday. It's about all of this. You, me, Biovolt – simply everything. I have tried to explain it to you so many times already: I care about you, you idiot, more than about anyone else. More than about myself. I couldn't ever let you go just like that. If, then I'd rather go myself." Kai attempted to calm himself as far as it was possible. He wanted to give this another shot, and try to argue it out with Tala peacefully.

"You're totally off your rocker." The 18-year-old ascertained soberly after his friend's statement. It stood out of question that Kai would go back to Biovolt, and he wouldn't have any discussions about it.

"Oh, if I'm suggesting it I'm off the rocker but if you're suggesting it you're instantly the goddamn Einstein? At least now you know how stupid your idea sounds to me." Kai crossed his arms over his chest, ruby-hued eyes sparkling wrathfully.

For a second, the older teen was left speechless. Kai was right somewhere but the situations of the two of them were utterly non-comparable.

"Listen, they wouldn't buy it from you for the life of them. You've been opposing them all this time through and suddenly you show repentance and come back? They're gonna laugh at you, throw you into their freaking dungeon and then, so help you God. You can put that idea right out of your mind."

"And they would buy it from you, huh? Just like that?" Kai could understand what Tala was saying. He himself knew it anyway, too; knew that Biovolt wouldn't ever believe him if he'd come back and act like he wanted to be all game again.

"Why shouldn't they? I was almost a goner after my match with Tyson so it is completely believable I needed time to recuperate. It would give them a plausible reason for my long absence, and I could join their ranks troublefree again." Another reason why they had to act fast, too. The longer he stayed here, the less credible the alibi of his condition was growing. "Or do you think I'll fuck you over and stay there for real?" Tala asked sardonically and irately alike. Did Kai really trust him that little? Why else was he so adamantly against what in fact was a pretty neat proposal?

Kai on his part almost had his jaw dropping. What kind of statement was that supposed to be? Who was Tala taking him for? The Wolf was the only one he trusted to an extent that was probably idiotic already. He would never think that lowly of him... "You..." He shook his head in disbelief. "You really accomplish it every single time. Just when I think there's no way for you to hurt me any worse, you manage to top it without batting an eye. The hell, why, Tala?" His voice was fading, smothered more and more the further Tala's words were sinking in.

The older teen mirrored Kai's defensive posture, crossing arms over his chest. "Honestly, Kai, you've become quite prissy. At every little shit, you're blowing up first and then you start getting all sensitive. Now all you gotta do is start crying again, _that_ would really top it all." Tala huffed, sneering but regretting the words even before he finished his sentence. He did Kai horribly wrong, he knew it yet unfortunately, it wasn't to turn back anymore. It was a below-the-waistline blow, using that one moment of strong emotion he had shown him in trust and faith to not be judged, against Kai in such a way. Labelling something humane like tears as something pitiful, pathetic and weak... They were the Abbey's teachings, and now he stooped as low as to apply them to nothing else but himself and Kai. _I'm such an idiot..._

Kai's head shot up, eyes charged with desolate anger and omnivorous pain. "You know what? I don't care. You can run back to Biovolt, or you can jump out of a fucking window if you want - be my guest. I won't bemoan the loss for sure. Go to hell, Tala." His dejected voice sounded in a firm, bitter whisper and his stately body jerked from the spot.

Benumbed, Tala stared at the empty space Kai's figure had been filling a moment ago, flinching at the noise of the pushed open door loudly falling shut again.

_Kai..._

* * *

End for now ^_^ I know, I'm evil for leaving you with a cliffhanger but I do hope you enjoyed reading. Drop me a review before you go and hopefully, we'll see each other next chapter again, well and happy!


	10. Going under

Next one ^_^

**I-Luv-Popcorn** - Poor Kai indeed *pats him* And yes, definitely more TxK in the future, I just need to get things rolling XD Thank you!

**marishka91** - Hey there *waves* I'm glad you enjoy reading, hopefully the update came soon enough ^_^ Thanks!

**XSilentX-XShadowX** - *chuckles* I bet Tala is feeling all bad about upsetting Kai anyway. Happy to hear the feelings are well-conveyed ^_^, the fic is a bit old and I'm trying to polish it a little by adding more descriptions; it seems to work well. Thank you!

And now, on we go!

* * *

**Chapter 9**

**"Going Under"**

Now I will tell you what I've done for you -  
50 thousand tears I've cried.  
Screaming, deceiving and bleeding for you -  
And you still won't hear me.  
(going under)  
Don't want your hand this time - I'll save myself.  
Maybe I'll wake up for once (wake up for once)  
Not tormented daily defeated by you  
Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom

I'm dying again

I'm going under (going under)  
Drowning in you (drowning in you)  
I'm falling forever (falling forever)  
I've got to break through  
I'm going under

Blurring and stirring - the truth and the lies.  
(So I don't know what's real) So I don't know what's real and what's not (and what's not)  
Always confusing the thoughts in my head  
So I can't trust myself anymore

I'm dying again

I'm going under (going under)  
Drowning in you (drowning in you)  
I'm falling forever (falling forever)  
I've got to break through

I'm...

So go on and scream  
Scream at me I'm so far away (so far away)  
I won't be broken again (again)  
I've got to breathe - I can't keep going under

I'm dying again

I'm going under (going under)  
Drowning in you (drowning in you)  
I'm falling forever (falling forever)  
I've got to break through

I'm going under (going under)  
I'm going under (drowning in you)  
I'm going under

* * *

Kai didn't know whereto he was running. He didn't even see the path ahead of himself, pushing the tears down with all his might. He didn't want Tala to be right. He didn't want to cry. But, damn it, it hurt. So much. He hadn't ever thought it would happen to him. Him of all people. Him of all people in this accursed world.

He ran past persons, houses, cars, trees; he wasn't noticing anything around him. His breathing was quick and shallow, he couldn't gasp in enough air and fire was spreading in his chest. He knew he would have to stop eventually but while he was running, he wasn't forced to think. Thus he didn't want to stop, didn't want to remember, didn't want to think, to feel. He wished he could become a hollow casing, without a single thing inside, without feelings – without pain.

Exhaustion caught up with him when he came to a halt in a park. He saw nothing in front of him, sight already clouded with the tears which had accumulated on the brims of his eyelids. No, dammit! Why, why did he have to cry again? It would be the second time for him to cry in the past few days - more than he'd ever wanted. Because of Tala. Yes, exactly because of the blue-eyed teen who wasn't his friend anymore. No, he wasn't a friend anymore. Kai couldn't and didn't want to call him that. He had understood; after all of this the insight had taken over him. It was no use deceiving himself anymore. He was tired of it.

The young Phoenix felt cold wetness on his cheeks and he needed a moment to realize that it weren't tears. No, it were raindrops. It thundered and he looked up to the sky coloured a deep, gloomy grey, huge clouds had veiled it over completely. A lightning flashed up far away at the horizon and the raindrops became bigger, more numerous. Not that he cared about it in any way.

He was broken. Drained. Not even because of Tala's jibe. No. It was because he had understood why that jibe had been so hurtful in the first place. Why Tala's return to Biovolt scared him so much, why he was acting so weird, as if having his character replaced in Tala's presence. The realization had hit him the very second Tala'd called him prissy. No, he wasn't prissy, in the presence of others he was still the cool, rejecting, taciturn Kai. Only with Tala did he become _sensitive_, as the other had put it in. Only for Tala did he fear, only Tala's words accounted for so much more than words could ever be, only coming from Tala did every insult hurt tenfold.

He stepped off the small alley of the park and approached a big, old tree which was spreading its mighty branches out invitingly despite that they lacked all leaves on them. The rain intensified and soaked his clothes in a blink of an eye, but he didn't feel the wetness seep through fabric and touch his very own skin, sitting down onto the ground beneath that grand tree. Pulling his knees up he circled them with his arms, and stilled.

Kai had come to realize it. Finally it painted out so very clear to him why and wherefore he was feeling what he felt. It was really, really simple. He loved Tala. It was this simple, but hell had it taken him long to understand. And the more he clarified that to himself, the more it hurt. He didn't know how to handle it, he was at loss of what to do. Every emotion slipped into the right place and the occurrences of the past days were so much easier to comprehend. When Tala looked at him and he became jittery – because he loved him. When Tala acted cold and rejecting and it hurt – because he loved him. When Tala was speaking about going back to Biovolt and he feared for him – because he loved him. When Tala wasn't there and he missed him – because he loved him. It was such an easy equation. And yet it was the most complicated thing Kai had even came across.

That kiss... he had responded to it, he had enjoyed it and he didn't regret it – because he loved Tala. Even back then when nothing of it was clear to him had his subconsciousness already acted on its own accord. It continued to pile up hints onto him – whether in form of a deep blush if the other touched him or in the form of a heavy pounding of heart when the other was near him. He had just never interpreted it right. Until now.

The rain bucketed down, cascading in a hefty downpour out of grey clouds, Kai's clothes and hair soon dripping and the cold, strong wind blowing harshly chilled him to the bone, throwing masses of raindrops at him. But he felt neither the rain, nor the wind nor the trembling of the own body. With blank, expressionless eyes he just stared ahead of himself. He felt empty as though someone had ripped out his heart and burned down his soul - only a blood-sprinkled, small pile of ash remained within. Only the thoughts whirling ceaselessly in his head.

How stupid could one be? It was so obvious. So simple that it was complicated already. Tala was no friend. No, he was more, so much more. He was everything Kai had ever had and everything he ever wanted to have. He was everything he had ever needed. That's why there was apathy, pain and unsettlement when Tala wasn't there. That's why there was sadness and tears when he felt himself misunderstood or ignored by the other. That's why there was doubts and fear when Tala wanted to leave, when he talked about putting himself into danger. The young Wolf was his world, he was always in his thoughts, in his heart and in his memories. Kai would risk everything and give up on everything for him, even on life. He didn't need friends, didn't need family – just Tala. Just the boy he had spent and shared more than the half of his life with, the boy who had always been there, who had always stood by his side and whom he trusted boundlessly.

So this was how love felt like. He had never thought that worshipped feeling could be this hurtful. Tala was unreachable for him. The kiss yesterday – what at all did it signify? The older teen didn't even want to talk about it; it seemed the kiss meant nothing to him. Kai didn't care what reasons Tala had to kiss him because he was sure there haven't been any deeper feelings involved. Why else would Tala want to leave just like that? Why else would he avoid that topic, why else would he say things which lacerated Kai more than anything else? To Tala, he was nothing more than a good, old friend, a little child to be protected. He could very well imagine yesterday's kiss being only a gesture of comfort. That'd be just like Tala.

The pain. That piercing, biting pain which was now a numb, pulsating feeling within him. He knew Tala and him had no chance. He had no chance. What use was his love if he couldn't give it to the one it was meant for? The despair gnawed at him, shredding his soul and robbing him off all willpower. In this one moment he wanted nothing more but to close his eyes and stop thinking, feeling... living... It was too late, too deep, too strong. It all had lost its meaning. He wanted only one thing: Tala. And just that thing was denied to him. Seventeen long years, so much pain, so much sorrow, so much hate. He understood that if it weren't for Tala, he would have long ago taken his own life. All the time, it had been Tala who was there when he'd felt the lowest, who'd always pulled him up to his feet when he'd fallen to the ground and who'd always cheered him up and motivated him when he'd wanted to give up. And God knew there had been so many moments in Kai's life where he had wanted to throw everything away.

The next roar of thunder was deafening. The wind gained even more intensity and was now bitingly freezing, tossing the raindrops with such force that they hurt upon impacting on his fine skin. The wet strands of double coloured hair lay like chilly rags in his face and the tears on his cheeks grew cold immediately, mixing up with the dreary rain. The tree above him groaned and croaked with its creaks, the leafless top inclining heavily towards the ground. But it all bothered him woefully little. He didn't even notice his trembling growing over into shaking, his slender body wincing harshly then and there like trying to call his attention towards its miserable state.

_To hell with it... What does it matter? Tala will leave. He doesn't care about how I'm feeling. I don't blame him – why should he give a damn about it in the first place? After all, he'd been through a lot with and mostly because of me; he'd succoured and supported me so many times. And I? What have I ever given back to him? My constant bitching and outbursts of fury, my helplessness and atop of that my pain. I always foisted my problems on__to him. I don't have the right to expect anything from him. He deserves someone better, someone who won't use him as a personal shield and an individual backup. I love him, I know that now. I wish I didn't, though... It hurts so bad. He's probably long gone by now... No surprise, I told him to clearly enough. I wish he'd be here right now... Tala, I... I love you..._ His head fell down, eyes clenched shut as agony and grief washed over him. A suppressed sob escaped his from severe emotions pressured chest, from beneath screwed shut eyelids salty tears were pearling with every convulsive pound of his shrinking heart.

A thunderbolt lightened up the dark skies and the drab surroundings for a moment, illuminating the broken, huddled up boy of barely seventeen years old, illuminating his shivering and drenched body whipped by ice-cold wind - a cruel scenery of solitude, despair and anguish.

xXx

Tala stood by the window, staring out of it. Half an hour had already passed since Kai had stormed out of the room and a terrible tempest was raging outside – bolts were cutting the heaven and the thunder was reaching a formidable sound intensity. The rain poured down so hard you had the feeling someone was simply emptying buckets of water from above – the gullies couldn't even keep up with absorbing all that liquid thus a thick layer of it had built up over the ground like shallow water. The wind seemed to be going insane, rushing through the streets and the treetops with unbelievable force, the trees bending in an angle of almost 90 degrees and the window glass thrumming with each powerful gust. The sky was covered with blackishly grey clouds to an extent where you thought it was deep evening already despite that time wasn't even past noon yet.

The young Wolf desperately hoped Kai wasn't somewhere out on the streets right now, cursing himself time and again for what he'd said to the other. The more he thought about it the more he had the wish to run his head into a concrete wall. Hard. So that all the stupidity would vanish out of it. How could he have ever dared to call Kai prissy? With what justification? The boy had undergone more than was imaginable; it was a miracle that he hadn't crumbled under that weight long ago already. Tala could only admire Kai's strength, he would have never been able to come this far be he in Kai's place.

He knew Kai had been there during his parents' accident, he had witnessed how the truck had rushed towards their car and how the metal pipe had pierced right through his father's head. His mother had been sitting beside him at the back of the car and she had pushed him out of the vehicle, but she herself had been wedged in inside the metallic steed that had been standing in flames. The truck driver had pulled Kai away from the burning car, just in time before it exploded.

The younger boy had often been plagued by nightmares thereafter, living through the horrible scenario again and again, sometimes several times per night. Tala himself had been very young back then and often hadn't known how to handle his room mate during those breakdowns. The best he had been able to do was crawl into Kai's bed and hug the other tight, almost crying along. It had always taken hours for the little Phoenix to calm down again, just to be torn out of his sleep by the same horrific dream, over and over again until he wouldn't have any more strength left to even cry. Those nights had firmly burned themselves into Tala's memory – the helplessness he had been feeling times and again while holding the devastated boy in his arms.

The funeral of Kai's parents had been protracted for seven months. Apparently Voltaire hadn't been in any hurry to entomb his daughter and her husband. Those seven months had been the worst of his life, watching and hearing Kai break down nearly every night and being able to do nothing, not a damn thing. It had been the cruellest experience of all. Therefore he wanted to protect the Phoenix at any cost, which Kai often labelled as 'mothering' and preferentially got worked up about. But Tala didn't want to allow a repetition of that past pain, no more, never again. Not when it was in his power to keep Kai from getting hurt.

He remembered Kai's petrified, emotionless face as the funeral had finally taken place. It had been raining and Voltaire had been thoughtfully holding an umbrella over his grandson's head, an amused sparkle in the cold-grey eyes as he commended the Phoenix about how strong he was and how effortlessly he was putting up with it. Of course he couldn't know that Kai had nearly suffocated on his tears and his pain just the night before, just like every night, all those long, seven moths through.

Tala still couldn't forgive himself falling asleep the night after the funeral. He had simply been completely worn out because it had been eating away at his own strength, too. Nevertheless he vividly remembered that enormous dread as he'd woken up and wondered why it was so quiet. Until he'd realized that Kai wasn't in the room anymore. He had waited, hoping that the younger boy might just be off to the bathroom but time passed and Kai just wouldn't come back. The panic and fear he had felt back then, he was unable to forgot them even now. He'd leapt up and run through the long, cold corridors of the Abbey searching in every possible corner and ultimately dashing outside. He could still perfectly remember that one thought that had been pounding in his head: please let him be alive. Let him be alive.

That panic and that terror, he didn't want to feel ever again. He didn't want to see Kai so broken ever again. God, what had he been thinking calling him prissy? To reproach him that crying was a weakness? He could have explained his plan to him more considerately. He should have let Kai speak his mind out, speak his fears and doubts out. He knew Kai worried a great deal about him – after all, they had been friends for so long. They knew things about each other no one else knew, they had undergone experiences together which had made them who they were today.

Tala could only assume what had misguided him to say what he's said. He was still confused about what had happened between them yesterday; he still didn't know what had pushed him to kiss Kai. Jaded iceblue orbs slid shut for a moment, Tala felt uneasy and anxious, he was worried for Kai and all the reminiscing had affected him gravely as well.

A quiet knock on the door resounded and Tala turned around. His heard struck a beat out of rhythm – could it be Kai? But why would he knock on the own hotel room door?

"Come in." He raised his voice, trying to keep it as straight as he could manage.

The door slid open a crack and a night-blue mop of frizzy hair emerged. "Hey, Tala." Speaking, Tyson entered the room, softly closing the door behind himself.

"Hey, Tyson." The redhead replied, wondering what the young Dragon might want.

"Where's Kai?" Tyson took a few steps towards the Russian and halted, fawn eyes shimmering attentively.

"Away." Was Tala's short response and unintentionally, his arms found into their regular crossed position over his chest, a habit he could never or would ever want to get rid of. It was a defensive posture, akin to some kind of a barrier to either shield or repel.

"I heard you two arguing. Is everything alright?"

For a moment, Tala just looked into his opposite's calm eyes which were an open gate, unguarded and trustful. He knew the younger teen meant no evil; he could read it in that gaze without problems.

"No, Tyson. Nothing's alright." He said quietly then. What use was it to try and conceal the truth? Correct – absolutely none.

"What happened?" Tyson approached the couch and sat down onto it, looking at the red-haired teen expectedly.

Tala's brow involuntary crept up higher. Did the other really expect him to give an explanation? Since when did he converse with the Dragon on a somewhat normal level anyway? He respected Tyson – the boy had always been an equal match, a worthy opponent. But the current situation was somewhat weird. Somewhat friendly. The younger blader just had that special aptitude to him, the ability to convert his rivals into his friends by earning their respect with his inimitable fighter's spirit among all the silly quirks of his personality. Tala grinned slightly, it was a funny situation. But... he was at a point where he didn't care about what the whole of it could mean. He just took a seat in the armchair opposite the couch and leaned back, arms still kept crossed, scrutinizing the Dragon.

A little while later Tyson got told about what had happened in the past days. He seemed neither surprised nor appalled, he merely listened, attentive and composed. Then and there his eyes sparkled up with surprise but he didn't interrupt even once and he didn't ask any questions either. Tala gave him credit for that, he hadn't ever thought that the young world champion would react in such a calm way.

After his little tale was finished, silence descended around them. The Wolf had long ago given up searching for reasons to his own doings, perhaps it was better that way. Who could tell? He sensed no danger coming from Tyson, not for himself and not for Kai. And who knew, there might be benefits if the blue-haired teen knew the truth. At the moment, Tala would be thankful for any kind of help for his dilemma.

"You've really screwed up." Tyson stated soberly after a few moments of complete hush.

Tala raised a brow in surprise, observing the young Dragon who had one leg curled up and encircled with his arms, the sole stemmed into the edge of the couch and the chin placed atop the bend knee. His fawn eyes were serene as they returned the examining gaze of the older boy.

"Hn. I'm aware of that myself." Tala reckoned deprecatingly. Tyson wasn't telling him anything new there.

"Exactly that is your problem, Tala. You're not." Tyson replied and Tala acknowledged that statement with a look that suggested he was greatly doubting Tyson's good sense.

"But other than having lost all your marbles you're doing fine, right?" He finally asked with a scoff, still not believing what he'd heard just now. Had one really implied that he didn't know himself? That was ridiculous. Tala knew himself very well and he could always perfectly tell where he stood. Okay... almost always.

Tyson sighed. "Then tell me one thing, Tala. If you know that you've hurt Kai, repeatedly mind you, and if you know that he's somewhere out there right now, with a weather like this outside and in a state you can't call anything near stable – why the hell are _you_ still _here_?" The gaze of the younger teen was firmly locked with Tala's, withstanding it quite well while the other slowly worked up the purport of his words.

"I..." Tala started but broke the sentence off abruptly. Damn it, if you looked at it from the angle Tyson had just displayed, there really did arise the simple question of what the heck he was still doing in here and why he wasn't looking for Kai since long ago already. Gods knew where the other strayed right now and what if he really was outside, with a weather like this raging? Tala felt like someone had slapped him awake.

"And? You're getting it?" Tyson watched Tala's features changing their expression rapidly. Apparently, he truly did get it. A moment later Tala was up his seat and on his way to the door.

"Wait. Come with me for a sec." The Dragon stood up as well, holding the other back from storming off. To the questioning look he mentioned the older Blader to follow him with a nod, leading the way to the own room.

After a small while he handed Tala an umbrella and a jacket.

"It won't do anyone any good if you catch a cold." He reasoned in response to Tala's sceptic gaze.

"Fine, I'll take the umbrella but I sure don't need your jacket." The Wolf half-agreed in the end. A Tala Valkov didn't let anyone mother him.

"Idiot, it's not for you anyway. It's for Kai. He's surely run off in that sleeveless shirt of his." Tyson spoke in slight annoyance.

Tala looked into those boldly shimmering brown eyes for a second and then, grinned. Apart from Kai, no one had dared to talk to him like that up to now. It was... refreshing. He turned around and aimed for the door, pushing the handle down and pausing for a moment, gazing back over his shoulder to look at the other insistently.

"Hey, Tyson."

"Yes?" The younger boy responded to his stare with a slightly confused one of his own.

"Thanks." Tala spoke seriously, and the blue-haired teen self-consciously scratched at the back of his head, a flash of surprise passing his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah. And now get lost and see to it that you find him." He chuckled and pushed Tala out of the room, a grin parading across his lips.

The redhead shook his head a little as Tyson's room door fell shut, not really comprehending how it'd come down to him thanking the energetic Dragon. Sometimes he managed to even surprise himself with his actions. But that was secondary. Right now even the growing danger of Biovolt wasn't of any vast importance, together with everyone and everything else. The only thing he could think about was finding Kai. The unpleasant feeling of dread spread throughout him fast, thus he hurried to get out of the hotel. Outside he opened the umbrella and had troubles keeping it from flying right out of his hand as the strong wind nearly knocked him off his legs. _Oh, Kai, please don't tell me that you're out there somewhere right now... _He thought a bit of panicky and rushed off down the streets.

He didn't know his way around Tokyo but he knew Kai and most likely, the other would search for a lonesome, quiet place to be right now. With the current weather, no soul was outside anyway. Actually only one place stood out calling for attention first – the park and it was on top of Tala's list. He inclined the umbrella a bit more as the wind whipped the raindrops at him and quickly made his way onward.

xXx

How much time had passed? Did it even matter? Well, by no means to Kai. The rain attenuated but the wind was still biting cold, he didn't feel his hands and feet since long ago already, the appendages numb. His body continued shaking in a vain attempt to warm itself, the chilliness creeping through skin and bone straight to his heart, grasping it in a merciless claw and squashing it. The seeping, mute tears weren't to decipher from the rain on his moist skin anymore, breathing quivering just like his lips. Not that he took any notice of it, starring blankly ahead. But he did not see a thing...

It had come how it was bound to come. Tala had left and he was alone again. In the two days where he had been there, he'd accomplished it to plunge Kai's whole world into complete chaos. The Phoenix become fully aware of the feelings he'd been harbouring for his past friend only now. How foolish of him to believe he could have ran away from it forever. His whole life he was running away from something. No, not from something... from someone. From his grandfather... That human... no, that monster just didn't want to leave him in peace. Gods, how many times more? How many times more did he want to torture him with his constant reappearance? Especially now where his life was getting so terribly out of hand, he just had to pop up again. With that he was making it nigh impossible for Kai to get a grip on anything anymore.

The rain was fading out. Tiny droplets were all that was now falling down onto the earth, the lightning had stopped and the thunder was a mere quiet rumbling in the air. The only thing left was the harsh, chilling wind. The soaked, thin clothes offered not much protection, rather intensifying the cold all the more.

_Tala... I wish things had come different. I wished we, you and me, would have met under different circumstances. I wish you knew... I wish you were here... Do you remember what I always __used to say about wishes? Wishes are surreal. They keep a person alive until they burst and fade away someday, leaving you back with nothing. Same with me. Without you, Tala, I have nothing left in this world.._ Was it sappy to think like this? Was it stupid to still hold on to hopes? Kai wanted to believe that someday, everything was somehow going to be alright again. He wanted to believe that it wasn't a definite fact, that it wasn't decided that Tala and he didn't have a future together. But he had been hoping for so long, for so many things... he was growing tired of it. Everyone reached their limits eventually and Kai had arrived at his own a long time ago. He balanced on the edge of an abyss, between giving up and holding on. And holding on was steadily becoming more and more tiresome.

His lithe frame shuddered harshly as the cold rattled through him with the powerful, frontal gust as though the wind was laughing at him. His sight veiled over once again, but he had no strength left to shed any more tears.

The soft material dropping around his shoulders startled the upset teenager, causing him to look up in confusion and blink the tears out of his eyes, letting the last of salty droplets roll down his pale skin. He saw a pair of legs clad in white pants and someone crouched in front of him a moment later. His eyes found the face of the appeared person and he by all means couldn't hide his surprise.

"Tala?" His voice was brittle and trembling but he was beyond caring about it. Actually, he firmly believed that he was simply hallucinating in a common symptom of hypothermia. Why would Tala be here anyway? He'd left long ago. How should he have known where Kai was where Kai himself didn't even have a clue about that?

"And just what were you thinking, hmm? Kai? You're going to end up with pneumonia this way." The older teen spoke with gentle reproach in his soft voice, reaching out a hand to brush away a few wet, silver strands out of the Phoenix's gorgeous face. He gazed calmly into the wide open pools of fiery red, hazed up by a gossamer film of pain and tears.

The very moment he'd arrived at the park and caught sight of a lonesome figure huddled on the ground aside the alley, he'd immediately known that he'd found what he'd came here looking for. He couldn't forgive himself for making Kai feel this miserable. The younger teen was trembling uncontrollably despite the warm downjacket placed around his quivering shoulders, he was soaked wet and he looked so broken... How could this have happened? He'd always wanted to keep Kai safe from a state like this and in the end he ended up causing what he wanted to prevent at all costs. Fate could be so cruel at times.

Kai just kept silent and stared straight into the Wolf's iceblue orbs, feeling and thinking nothing – not wanting to. He simply wanted to remain sitting like this and gaze into Tala's eyes for eternity and beyond. Just look into his eyes, saying nothing.

"Come on, get up. We should see to it that we get you someplace warm, you're frozen to the bone." Tala spoke eventually and secured a careful grip on his friend's arm, standing up and tugging the younger Blader with him.

As he stood Kai finally realized how damn cold he was. His fingers weren't obeying at all, not even willing to bend properly and he couldn't feel his legs either, not even sure if he was actually standing on them. Atop of that he was trembling horribly, getting the impression of his inner organs being caught inside a freaking mixer instead of a living body. Tala's hand on his forearm felt pleasantly warm and for a moment, he simply gazed down at it, head swept blank of any thoughts. He was frozen, quite literally feeling like an icicle – cold and inflexible.

Tala was pretty much worried about the Phoenix who looked like he was going to collapse the next second. He seriously pondered about simply hoisting Kai up onto his arms and carry him back to the hotel even though he was sure that the other wouldn't at all be enthralled by that. He appeared to be completely out of it at the moment, staring at Tala's hand that held him firmly by the upper arm alike seeing something unnaturally interesting in it.

"Kai?" He called quietly, waiting until the young teen directed his attention away from Tala's hand and towards Tala himself. "Let's go, okay?"

The Phoenix nodded, lacking the will and the strength to speak. He wanted to tell Tala so many things, so many that he didn't even know where to start. His body hurt and he was freezing but the fact of Tala being here, vivid and real, being here because of him, the fact that he'd searched for him – it let the hope blaze up with an invigorated flame which warmed him from the inside. He longed to find himself in the other's embrace, just to feel the authenticity of the situation, the certitude that Tala was here with him, because of him. He made a few awkward steps forward on his numb legs but before he could reach Tala, something flew by him with a buzzing noise.

He paused in all action immediately as well as Tala did, both of them looking around. His eyes soon stopped their gaze on a turquoise Blade rotating on the ground a few centimetres away from them, whirling up water and sending tiny globules of it in every direction.

"Now would you look at this? Certainly not a picture you can come across everyday." Recognizing a very familiar voice Kai's head jerked the direction it was coming from.

"Bryan." He heard Tala hiss and caught sight of his lavender-haired ex-team mate who was observing them with a gloating grin on his pale lips.

* * *

That's it for now! I hope you enjoyed reading, if so please drop a review and hopefully, we'll see each other soon at the next chapter!


	11. Before the Dawn

It took me a little due to my exams starting but well, here we go with the next chapter!

**marishka 91 **– I'm glad you enjoyed reading and are looking forward to how it's gonna continue ^_^ I'll be giving my best with the updates *laughs* Thank you!

**Miako6 **– Well, stuff happens *laughs* I read your review at Runaway World and thank you for taking the time to post it here again as well. What can I say, I'm a sucker for drama XD And as for Bryan – can't make promises there even though I, too, pretty much like him as a character. Thanks!

**Laura-NekoChan** – Yes, Tala can be quite a jerk at times, can't he? *laughs* Aw! I thank you, dear; very glad that the dialogues fit the situations so well. Especially the Kai & Tala ones are always a lot of fun for me to write, since the two just have that chemistry going on *chuckles* Bryan will definitely play a vital role later on *nods* Thank you and many loves right back!

Now, I'll let you read on and hope you'll enjoy doing so.

* * *

**Chapter 10**

**"Before The Dawn"**

Meet me after dark again and I'll hold you  
I want nothing more than to see you there  
And maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away  
We'll be lost before the dawn

If only night can hold you where I can see you, my love  
Then let me never ever wake again  
And maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away  
We'll be lost before the dawn

Somehow I know that we cant wake again from this dream  
It's not real, but it's ours

Maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away  
We'll be lost before the dawn

Maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away  
We'll be lost before the dawn

* * *

"Aw, don't tell me you're not happy to see me, my dear Tala?" Bryan approached them, his Blade shooting back into his hand a short while after.

Tala regarded the statement with a derogatory and slightly disgusted look, knowing his plan was about to turn out a failure if he acted too obviously now. It was a very unfortunate situation and he didn't know for sure what he was more concerned about – Kai's condition or the about-to-be-blown possibility to stop Biovolt.

"What about you, Kai? Haven't you missed me?" The lavender-haired teen sneered, giving Kai a critical look-over.

The Phoenix might have had little strength left but it was always sufficient for a dangerous, excoriating glare. Bryan's grin watered down, he felt safe alright but Kai still wasn't someone to be jesting with no matter what side he stood on.

"Voltaire and Boris are missing _you _though, Tala." Bryan turned to his team leader, looking at him expectantly. It was anyway evident what was going on here, obviously the Wolf had become cosy with the Bladebreakers. Too cosy.

"What do you want, Bryan?" Tala cut off icily. He wanted to get rid of the unpleasant company as soon as possible to be able to tend to Kai. He was aware of the other's trembling intensifying a bit, the exertions taking their toll on him, not to mention the wind was still awfully cold and whipping.

"I've come for Kai's Dranzer - Voltaire's order. What about it, Tala? It'd be an easy game for the two of to snare his Bitbeast, don't you think?" Bryan watched his team leader attentively. The answer Tala would give, would ultimately clarify what side he'd decided for.

Kai's heart started racing. He was aware how much Tala wanted to execute his plan, but would he really... The Phoenix didn't know if he'd be able to handle it should Tala side with Biovolt, even if for deception's sake.

The Wolf's hand unintentionally curled firmer around Kai's forearm as he struggled with making a choice. Yet, a glance to his side had been enough to decide. One glance into the calm, ruby red eyes. They were composed but the expression in them told Tala that Kai, albeit that he would accept it, wouldn't ever be able to cope with him deciding in Biovolt's favour. Tyson had been oh so right – he had hurt the younger teen, various times and every time a little more. He couldn't cause Kai further grief and torment, he didn't have the heart to. Screw Biovolt, screw Boris and Voltaire, since when was anything more important than Kai?

"You're right, Bryan, it'd be an easy game for us." He spoke slowly, facing the lavender-haired boy who had a detestable grin parading across his lips.

Kai clenched his eyes shut. He knew he wouldn't be able to fight Tala, not anymore. Not since having realized what he felt for the other; it would be easier for him to just hand his faithful Dranzer over. Normally he'd fight until the bitter end, regardless of his current condition. But not against Tala. Not against him.

"But..." Tala continued. "If you want Dranzer, you'd have to make it past me first."

Kai's eyes snapped open again, widening just like Bryan's, neither able to believe what they had heard. But Tala's iceblue orbs left no doubts - they were determined and unbelievably calm, the way they became only when Tala had made an ultimate and irrevocable choice.

"Fine." The Falcon hissed, taking position. "Then Wolborg shall be the first to bite the dust."

Tala acknowledged that statement with a superior smirk. "You sure are talking big for a bungler, Bryan. In all of our matches, say how many times did you manage to defeat me?" All three Bladers knew the answer to that question: not once. After all, Tala wasn't the Leader of the Demolition Boys for nothing. Next to Kai, he was the best Blader the Abbey had to offer and now Biovolt had lost them both. But no doubt Boris would come up with something to compensate the loss.

"Shut up! Do you wanna fight or continue yapping?" Bryan growled in irritation.

The Wolf briefly looked at his best friend in worry who looked back out of reassuringly sparkling, crimson eyes, smiling slightly. "It's okay Tala, I won't faint on you. Kick the bastard's ass and then let us finally go back." He spoke firmly, eliciting a warm smile from the other as well when he released his grip on the Phoenix's arm. He stepped away from Kai and attached his Blade to the starter in a fluent motion, scrutinizing his opponent attentively.

Noticing the challenging flash up in the jade green eyes he launched his Blade simultaneously to Bryan. Those collided immediately and powerfully, exchanging blow after blow. Tala was mildly surprised that the lavender-haired teen had seemingly put on strength – he offered Wolborg creditable resistance. _Apparently, Boris already had a hand in it. _He thought bitterly, asking himself what machinations the man had performed on Blades and Bladers again.

"Falborg! Charge!" Complying his master's call, the falcon appeared with a screech, the Blade doubling its rotation speed and pushing Tala's back. Of course, the redhead didn't acquiesced that.

"Wolborg, go." His calm order resounded. He knew he shouldn't grow over-confident but he didn't believe that Bryan was an equal match for him no matter what one might have done with him or his Blade.

The snow-white wolf appeared with a mighty growl above the spinning Blade, the golden eyes flashing up with pugnacity.

"Go!" Bryan hustled his Bitbeast to attack and the falcon rose up into the sky, ready to dive down onto the wolf.

Tala only scoffed, he didn't even need to dodge that assault. He wondered why Bryan wasn't going for his Bitbeast's special move, that way he'd at least stand a chance against Wolborg.

The falcon in the air thrust out a threatening screech and thundered down towards the earth, Tala's eyes narrowing some as they watched the raptor speed _past_ Wolborg. He'd foreseen that. He knew Bryan too well to not be expecting some dirty trick from him, knowing his team mates in and out – their tactics, their attacks, their style of fighting, their strong and weak points. He was the captain after all.

Thus he mentally prepared himself for the falcon's attack, Wolborg wouldn't make it in time to intercept and shield his master from the assault. Not that Tala was afraid in any way, he didn't fear pain and he wasn't Ray either, having a much higher tolerance for physical damage. Too high for Bryan to affect him in any way with this manoeuvre.

He sensed the Bitbeast approaching, the wing beats brushing him in close proximity. His eyes widened in terror as the falcon rushed _past_ his figure as well, not even touching him. _What the hell..._ It happened alike in slow motion. Tala turned around to see the underlying target of the Bitbeast: Kai. The other stood in direct line, heavily leaning against a tree with his shoulder, composed crimson eyes sparkling with rage as they watched the raptor bolting towards him. What a shoddy trick! He had no option to dodge the attack in the state he was in and he knew his drained body would probably sustain some serious injuries with its defences almost non-existent. Tala was ossified, the fear for his friend shackled him in place. _Kai! _It echoed desperately in his mind.

Kai acquiescently closed his eyes, there was nothing he could do except accepting the harm that came at him on rapid wings.

"Dragoon!" The all too familiar voice resounding right then caused him to pry his lids open again. He saw a blue-white Blade rotating to his feet and looked up. With its back towards him stood Dragoon, claws spread out as he grasped the speeding falcon by the wings, letting it clash into the own firm body, absorbing the blow and stopping its mad dash. Kai felt the shock wave hitting at his debilitated form, letting him know just with what immense power the raptor had been rushing at him. Bryan's blade rebounded from Tyson's own, Dragoon pushing Falborg away a fair few meters.

"Phantom Hurricane!" On Tyson's command a powerful tornado hit the falcon hard and the Bitbeast recoiled back into its Blade which soon flew into its owner's hand in a high arc.

"Kai! Are you alright?" Tyson ran up to his team leader, worry vivid in the deep brown of his eyes.

The young Phoenix first needed a moment to shake off his stupor and looked at his team mate then, surprised. "Where'd you come from all of a sudden?" He questioned a bit hoarsely.

"That I'd like to know as well." Tala had also made his way to Kai, guiding the arm of the younger Russian around the own neck. Kai steadied himself using his friend's support, sensing his strength leaving him gradually. If it was to progress like this, he truly might collapse. He had to pull himself together because he really didn't desire to faint in front of his two friends. Thus he allowed himself to lean on Tala a little more, eyes still directed at Tyson in a quizzical gaze.

The young Dragon grinned sheepishly, scratching at the back of his head. "I thought Tala might need a little help searching for you. Besides I was pretty much worried myself, so I just went looking for you without further ado." He explained.

Kai shook his head in amusement, that was typical of Tyson, if he got something into his stubborn head he didn't think much about it anymore. This spontaneity and buoyancy was something he admired about the blue-haired Blader; Kai himself always had to think things a hundred times over before he did anything.

"You don't trust me, do you?" Tala eyed the Dragon sceptically, guiding his free arm around Kai's waist to steady him some more.

"Can you resent me that?" Tyson grinned, and Tala grinned back.

"No, not really. And now let's get outta here." That said, they slowly started on their way back to the hotel. Bryan had meanwhile disappeared in thin air, not that any of them cared about that. They'd find another way to stop Biovolt somehow.

xXx

"You told him everything?" Kai asked with an eyebrow raised up high, watching Tala in disbelief.

He sat, after a long warm shower, dressed in dry clothes and with a steaming hot cup of tea in hand, on the bed in his hotel room, recovering steadily. Throughout the whole way back, he had successfully defied Tala's suggestions to carry him, very much to Tyson's amusement. Now he was beginning to understand why the blue-haired teen had appeared in the first place and why he had known that Kai had run off into the blue to begin with.

"Yes. He took it pretty composedly. I hadn't expected him to." Tala nodded, sitting down beside Kai.

"Hm." The sound of accreditation given, Kai gazed down into the cup in his hands and the blurry reflection on the surface of the fluid it held.

He knew that by saying 'took it pretty composedly' Tala meant that the young Dragon also knew what he had intervened with back then as he'd appeared so unexpectedly at Kai's room door and that it had happened afterwards nevertheless. Strangely enough, he didn't feel all too bothered by that. He had learned over time that it was safe to trust Tyson. Sure, the blue-haired whirlwind was sometimes pesky, obtrusive, naive and credulous but he had never forgotten all Tyson had done for him. Lake Baikal first and foremost. That the other had reacted so calmly and sedately only confirmed him that Tyson represented himself to the outside world as more childishly than he actually was.

"Hey, Kai..."

Tala's quiet voice brought him back from his pensive musing and he looked up into the iceblue crystals, bewildered. Why did the older boy sound so... strange? Then it caught up with him, everything that had happened... the kiss, the argument, his insight...

"...I'm sorry, about what I've said. And about what I've done, too." Tala needed a fair amount of willpower to not lower his eyes in shame. The pools of tender crimson looked at him in such honest incomprehension as though Kai didn't even know what he was talking about. Had he forgotten this quickly? Forgiven him this fast?

A faint smile curled Kai's lips. "It's okay, Tala. You don't need to apologize. For nothing at all." He emphasized the last sentence, not willing and not able to be mad at the other. He'd understood that no matter what Tala did or said, he'd always forgive him. Because he couldn't act otherwise. Because he loved him.

"For nothing at all?" Tala inquired softly, blue eyes calm and collected. He knew what Kai implied at with 'nothing at all' and he wanted to believe that the other was sincere about it. His emotions were in complete disarray, he just couldn't understand how Kai could forgive him this easily. Times and again. He couldn't comprehend what this gentle something in the other's eyes was that made him feel so strange. Kai's gaze was placid, almost sad - something lay imbedded in those crimson orbs that Tala couldn't assign to anything no matter how hard he tried.

"Unless you're regretting it." Kai stood up and approached the glassed table to place his empty cup onto it. If he had stayed close to Tala any longer, looking into those incredulously shimmering eyes, he might have done something stupid.

"It?" Tala's eyes followed Kai attentively, caution in his voice – this conversation was glazed frost, it was easy for either of them to slip and they were slowly growing tired of constant arguments.

"Okay, I'll word it more directly. Unless you're regretting having kissed me." Kai turned around, a bit faster than he meant to, his eyes searching Tala's expression for any undesired emotions – aversion, rejection, guilt. To his relief he saw nothing of it on the other's handsome features; the Wolf appeared composed and reserved in face of the statement.

"No." He finally replied, inclining his head a little to scrutinize the younger boy.

He was anxious about Kai's reaction, it was something he'd wanted to know for long already. He wanted to know how the Phoenix viewed that matter, that kiss. In addition to that, he found Kai's current behaviour quite interesting. So very collected and concentrated as tough this talk could be their last. As though steeling himself to say something important. As though feeling the ground for it – feeling his way closer to Tala. The young Wolf was all too curious about what Kai was hiding, after all, they'd never kept any secrets from each other.

Hush reigned for a moment, the two of them simply looking at each other. Kai worked up the other's reply only slowly, it meant a lot to him. It meant that his love for Tala might still have a chance, it meant that the older Russian might not push him away. It meant so much that he was sure Tala had no clue to which immense extent those two letters changed Kai's situation.

The Phoenix was still lost on how to deal with that feeling of love, having nothing but pain of loss connected to it albeit knowing the sweeter sides of that emotion also. Aside of that, parents' love wasn't quite comparable to the feeling that had snuck into his heart this time. He had no clue how to handle it or how to break it to Tala without scaring him away. He didn't know how he should prepare himself or Tala for what he was going to tell to the other, how he should behave. How could he know if he acted too obviously? But if he'd act too reserved, Tala would notice it, too. But he couldn't act normally anymore either, partly because acting normally had been so normal that he never wasted a thought about how that normal actually worked. He didn't know anything at all at the moment and slowly, he was growing pretty scared of that feeling. It was so very confusing that even his own thoughts didn't make any sense to him anymore, sounding like freaking riddles.

"Why're you silent all of a sudden?" Tala had watched the younger teen attentively – the expression on the Phoenix's paint-graced face had been changing together with his thoughts that appeared to be somersaulting in that clever head of his. The calmness had vaporized from the ruby red eyes, they were bemused now, with a faint trace of fear in them.

"I'm... Tala, I have a question I'd wanted to ask you for a long time already..." Kai's voice wavered subtly, too subtly for Tala to notice. The young Phoenix broke the own sentence off, waiting for the other to confirm him that he wanted to hear that question first.

"Okay. Then spill it." The Wolf nodded affirmatively. Kai's gaze grew firm and tensed abruptly, fixating on the other's blue orbs and causing Tala to involuntary tense up as well – some kind of electricity suddenly charged the air.

"Why'd you kissed me?" The younger Blader finally asked straight out, voice a bit suppressed by all the emotions raging within. He needed the reason almost as much as he needed air to breathe; he had to know, needed to know the why.

Tala chocked down a gasp. Okay, he knew Kai could be very straightforward at times, heck he himself wasn't exactly the type to beat around the bush, but regardless having known that the question was to come eventually it threw him off guard nonetheless. He stared into expectedly flashing eyes and Kai's taut expression for a second or few, trying to gather his scrambling thoughts and form a somewhat sensible reply.

"I... just couldn't... I just couldn't see you like that, so sad and crestfallen. I wanted to make it better, somehow. It... It was the only thing I came up with that moment." He finally managed an uncertain explanation. He simply spoke the words as they came, not knowing if Kai was able to understand what he meant. The hell, Tala himself didn't even know if he understood what he meant.

"Oh." Was all Kai produced in response. Sure. Had he expected something else? Earlier, Tala had cheered him up by doing something funny or stupid. Today, he apparently did it by kissing him. _How foolish of me... it'd been clear from the beginning on that he sees it all differently. A friend. I'm just a friend to him. Nothing more._ Involuntary, he lowered his head in defeat.

It always hurt so bad when hopes burst, their shards sharp and glowing hot, burning and cutting into the soul and the worst – they also took away the dreams connected to them. Dreams were sprouting out of hopes and if hopes died, they extinguished those dreams as well. Like a small child hoping for a flashy toy, dreaming of getting many friends if it only had it. And if it didn't get that toy, that hope extinguished and the dream of getting friends with it. A simple scheme you could transfer onto every hope. Yet some hopes could be replaced – then the child would simply hope to be enrolled into a friendly class and could continue dreaming of acquiring many friends. Hope replaced, dream preserved.

But some unique dreams could exist only out of one specific hope. Did that hope die, the dream faded forever leaving back a void instead of a hope and pain instead of a dream. If you could fill that void, it'd stop the pain but some voids could not be filled with other hopes. Thus the pain of the broken dream remained with you forever, weakening with time but never vanishing completely. Such dreams, you could not forget.

Tala watched the younger teen lower his head as though Kai was giving up. He just couldn't understand what. What was the other giving up? And for what reason? He wasn't the type of person to give up easily. On anything.

"Kai?" He waited until the addressed person looked at him again, the crimson eyes seemingly having lost a part of their soulfulness and Tala couldn't comprehend why.

"Have I somehow... hurt you with my answer? Or why are you so upset now?" He asked quietly, standing up the bed.

"No. No, Tala, you haven't. I've expected that reply. Thank you, Tala. Thanks, for everything." Kai whispered softly, the sentences distinctly clumsy and somewhat out of place.

"Why does it sound so much like a farewell?" Was Tala's just as soft inquiry.

_Because it is one._ Kai replied in his mind. Farewell to my hope. _We're friends, right, Tala? Friends. Nothing more. _The thoughts continued in melancholy bitterness, birthing despair. _Heavens, I love him... Why? Why are you doing this to me?_

"Farewell? What do you mean? You're imagining things, Tala, I'm just saying thank you. For everything you've done for me. I wish I could pay you back with more than constant problems and worries. I'm sorry." His quiet voice was firm while he spoke, lips graced by a faint smile while even to the own ears all of it sounded so forged. It wasn't what he desired to say... not at all...

"Who're you trying to fool, Kai? Me? Yourself? Or both of us?" Tala asked softly but resolutely, hurt covibrating beneath the surface. Who did Kai try to deceive? Should that forced smile be convincing? Or the suppressed pain in those crimson depths? Or the tensed posture looking like the Phoenix had a hard time struggling with his emotions?

"I..." Kai faltered, eyes widening a little. Tala had seen through his facade with ease but it wasn't much of a surprise. He could effortlessly decipher if Kai's smile was sincere or a fake, especially because sincere smiles rarely ever touched the younger boy's lips.

"Tala, please... just let us stop, okay?" Kai pleaded quietly. He had no strength to put up with this emotional strain any longer. He simply wanted a minute of peace to think and sort things through. He didn't want to give Tala up, having completely forgotten what you could re-fill the void of a burst hope with. With the will to fulfil it. A Kai Hiwatari did not give up this easily. Never.

"Alright, Kai." Tala nodded, facial expression solemn and calm. "But we're not through with that subject, understood? I'll find out what's up with you, one way or another."

A resigned smile touched Kai's lips. "Okay."

He was very grateful for the other's understanding. Tala always seemed to know when it was better to leave Kai alone and not pressure a subject any longer. Eventually, the younger Blader would spill what bothered him all by himself but this time, Kai wasn't sure if it was going to be quite that unproblematic. The fear of losing Tala was simply too great at the moment. He needed time.

A knock on the door elicited both Bladers to turn around that direction, greeting a familiar, night-blue mop of hair into sight.

"Hey, guys! Can I come in?" Asking that, Tyson entered the room, closing the door again.

"Normally you ask that _before_ you enter the room, Tyson." Kai remarked dryly.

"Please don't tell me I disturbed you during something again." The Dragon exclaimed, appalled, making both Russians laugh out.

"Lucky for you, Tyson, you didn't." Tala replied with an amused grin, shaking his head slightly.

"Too bad." The blue-haired teen stated boldly and Kai rose a brow. Was that an insinuation?

"Voyeur." Tala acknowledged the statement with a sceptical look, getting a tongue stuck out at him.

"Bite me!"

"Continue like this and I will." He growled with playful anger in his steady voice, the disinterested threat shallow.

Kai rolled his eyes. "Alright you two, cut it out. Tyson, what brings you here?" He turned to his team mate.

"Oh, right." The Dragon scratched at the back of his head. "Mr. D. is calling everyone to a war council." Albeit spoken with an amused voice, his face remained serious. He knew of Tala's plan and could imagine that it was blown now. Biovolt had made their first move by trying to take Kai's Dranzer; nothing came closer to a war declaration. Slowly, measures had to be taken.

Tala frowned, glancing to Kai who nodded mutely and aimed to exit the room. As he stepped out of it and proceeded past Tyson, he noticed that the Dragon wasn't following him thus he looked at him over his shoulder, bewildered.

"What's up, Tyson? Get a move on." He said towards the blue-haired teen who glanced between Kai and Tala a few times and finally stepped further into the hotel room, griping the older Russian by the forearm.

"You're coming with us." He declared, tugging him out of the room. For a moment, Tala was too stunned to even resist, Kai standing in the corridor and trying to keep from gaping, asking himself if Tyson was either suicidal or simply stupid.

Unimpressed by the reactions received the youngest amidst them continued dragging Tala along with him in the direction of Mr. Dickenson's suite.

"It concerns you as much as anyone of us. I don't care if you're on our team or not, you should certainly be present." Tyson explained while Tala was still preoccupied with regaining his composure. Kai tracked them with a grin across his lips and almost burst out laughing as Tala, still being dragged along, tripped over the carpet and nearly fell flat onto his face. Only then did he jerk his arm out of Tyson's grip, razing the other down with an irritated glare out of flashing, iceblue orbs, arms crossing themselves over his chest. How dare anybody just... touch him without permission? Only Kai was allowed to do that.

"What's the big idea?" He snarled at the Dragon who just blinked back innocently and shrugged his shoulders.

"What? I'm not contagious or anything."

"Tsk. You maybe not, but your stupidity sure is." The Wolf retorted, still aggravated.

"Yeah, yeah, that hurt my feelings awfully deeply now." Tyson waved off. "And now hurry up and come or do you wanna strike a root here?"

Before Tala could reply to that he was interrupted by Kai's sonorous laughter. The young Phoenix had been watching the little bicker with growing amusement and Tala's pissed expression had finally done it.

"What's so funny?" The Wolf hissed while Tyson just looked at his team leader in bewilderment.

"No, nothing. Let's go." Kai managed to calm down again and proceeded ahead of the other two who only exchanged puzzled glances and ultimately followed the Phoenix's lead.

* * *

*laughs* I adore Tyson. Anywayz, I hope you had fun reading, if so please drop a review and hopefully, we'll see each other next chapter!


	12. Anywhere

Yay! Finally, I managed to get my fingers typing on this story, too *laughs* I had to juggle my exams first and I'm rather happy to have been able to pass them all with acceptable grades. Two weeks of holiday had done me good as well, so I'm feeling pretty rejuvinated, still I apologize for the long absence. This story should be progressing quicker now since I'm back home.

Well, for another note, as this has already been pointed at by one of the comments, I'd like to say that this story will definitely not degenerate into Tyson-bashing. I don't know about America or other countries for that matter, but over here in Germany, kids writing fanfictions tend to be very nasty to him. I know he has some character traits which are just begging to be made fun of, but I'm not someone who likes to, especially since I myself pretty much adore Ty as the character he is. I think writing a story, you have to at least be fair and not try to take out your dislike of a character in some cruel ways on said character. Furthermore, I do intend for Tyson to have a bigger role in this story and I also see another pairing coming, though Kai and Tala, of course, always remain crux of the matter ^_^

With this said, on we go. I just noted fanfictiondotnet does have the option to let me reply to readers directly and that option, I'll be taking up. I'm still thanking everyone who reviewed, it's been a great boost of motivation.

Now *claps hands* End of babbling and start of chapter! Enjoy, please!

* * *

**Chapter**** 11**

**"Anywhere"**

Dear my love, haven't you wanted to be with me  
And dear my love, haven't you longed to be free  
I can't keep pretending that I don't even know you  
And at sweet night, you are my own  
Take my hand

We're leaving here tonight  
There's no need to tell anyone  
They'd only hold us down  
So by the morning light  
We'll be half way to anywhere  
Where love is more than just your name

I have dreamt of a place for you and I  
No one knows who we are there  
All I want is to give my life only to you  
I've dreamt so long I cannot dream anymore  
Let's run away, I'll take you there

We're leaving here tonight  
There's no need to tell anyone  
They'd only hold us down  
So by the mornings light  
We'll be half way to anywhere  
Where no one needs a reason

Forget this life  
Come with me  
Don't look back you're safe now  
Unlock your heart  
Drop your guard  
No one's left to stop you

Forget this life  
Come with me  
Don't look back you're safe now  
Unlock your heart  
Drop your guard  
No one's left to stop you now

* * *

"Hey Mr. D.! Here we are!" Tyson announced as he stepped into the room, two Russians, one still slightly amused and the other still somewhat pissed, behind him.

"Oh, hallo, Tyson! Kai!" The podgy man greeted enthusiastically, his gaze stopping at Tala's robust form.

"...hallo, Tala..." He spoken with noticeably less enthusiasm, the anyhow small eyes narrowing even more to almost slits.

Tala's reaction to the salutation was rather unperturbed, his arms crossing themselves over his chest once more and instead of an answer he only gave a slight nod. Kai's frame tensed involuntary since grave silence spread into the room. Dear Lord, they treated Tala as though he was a criminal of some sort and would blow them all up the next moment. Tyson, of course, noticed the uncomfortable atmosphere immediately and hurried to discharge the situation.

"So, what's that overly important matter you wanted to talk to us about, Mr. D.?" He asked in a good temper, plopping down onto the couch next to Max.

Tala continued to remain standing motionless in the room, Kai close by his side. He asked himself how he had ended up in this room this one moment, letting that chubby man and the remaining two Bladebreakers gawk at him. Ah, yes, Tyson'd dragged him here...

"Now... uhm... well..." The BBA Boss stammered, insecurely squinting at the young Wolf again.

"Listen-" Kai started with a dangerously lowered voice, ready to burn the round man to ash with his irritated glare.

"-it's okay, Mr. D." Tyson interfered quickly before Kai could finish his sentence. "Tala's alright, really, we can trust him. Just a bit ago he'd helped me and Kai to beat Bryan." The Dragon cast an unsettled glance at the two Russians, hoping it was okay if he put it in how he'd put it in.

His gaze crossed Tala's, the iceblue eyes henceforth flickering with interest. Apparently the Wolf was curious about how that information would be received whereas Kai looked like he had troubles to hold back what he'd wanted to say a moment ago.

"Bryan attacked you?" Max sounded appalled, indigo-hued orbs sparkling anxiously.

"Yes. But everything went well – not the least thanks to Tala." The blue-haired teen replied in approval.

"Well... nevertheless, this is a team conference." The BBA chief interjected. Kai opened his mouth but Tyson forestalled him yet again.

"The thing with Biovolt concerns all Bladers, doesn't it, Mr. Dickenson? Especially Kai but also Tala, we all want to stop Biovolt's evil doings. I see no important reason why only the four of us should be discussing this; team or not, we all have the same goal, right?" He said quietly, eliciting a this time abashed and pensive hush to enwrap them once more.

"Ty is right. So go ahead and spill it, Mr. D." Max raised his voice first, receiving a grateful look from his best friend.

"I've no objections, either. If Tyson trusts Tala, so do I." Ray's amber eyes met those iceblue ones for a short instant, letting the Wolf see that the young Chinese's words were honest. Tyson possessed some authority among his team, one could notice that.

The redhead turned to Kai and briefly touched his hand to that tense shoulder, signalling it was okay. The Phoenix observed him for a moment and the anger watered down in the crimson depths. Together they approached the couch and sat down, ready to listen but not before Kai bent his head towards Tyson a little, whispering inaudibly to everyone but the two persons either side of him: "If you dare to get in my way like this again, your head's gonna roll. You got me?"

Tyson nodded with a bright grin, knowing Kai wasn't really mad. The admonishment had sounded rather even-tempered though the Dragon wasn't foolish enough to ignore the warning notes concealed in it.

Kai leaned back thereafter, arms crossed, and directed his attention to the man who was expected to speak, wanting to know what he had to say. He doubted the podgy being knew what explosion Tyson'd just prevented from happening, the pent up emotions having nearly burst out in form of irritated wrath. He squinted at Tala who was suppressing a grin with all his might, certainly having heard what Kai had whispered to the other – and finding it endlessly amusing. Of course he was thankful that the Phoenix was ready to defend him but the whole situation was somewhat completely awkward and weird thus he didn't exactly know what to think of it all.

Mr. Dickenson cleared his throat and placed a letter onto the desk between couch and chair then. "This, boys, is a summons for us. From Biovolt." He said slowly and looked at each boy in sequence.

The faces were tensed, only Kai and Tala appeared unimpressed, well-trained in controlling their emotions. Naturally, it did not mean they weren't affected by what was stated but the years of experiences were very convenient in this case – no matter how stirred up or anxious they might feel, nothing of it showed on the outside.

"A summons? Do you mean they want to arrange a tournament?" Ray inquired insecurely. He remembered the last encounter with Biovolt all too well; it hadn't been particularly pleasant.

"More than that. It's going to be a match between them and us but what worries me most is that it shall happen in Moscow in a place they choose with rules they determine."

Silence was their comrade once more, everyone perfectly aware what that meant. It meant all possible advantages for Biovolt and every imaginable disadvantage for them. Yet, did they even have a choice?

"I see no problem in that. We travel there, win the match and end this whole thing once and for all." Kai's eyes sparkled up with rage as he stood up the couch. Such fuss over some stupid summons? He knew he was extremely downplaying the matter but he was at loss of any other reaction pattern. The thought about having to most likely see his grandfather again and the possibility of the match taking place in the Abbey were so surreal, it simply didn't settle in his head.

"Are you crazy? Own rules, own showplace – you know what that means? We won't stand a chance, that's what it means!" Kenny gave a shout, having been all quiet behind his laptop up until now. He sounded a tad of panicky, still typing away on his laptop and probably not even acknowledging the own action anymore.

"And just what are you suggesting? To puss out and run away?" The Half-Russian hissed venomously with near odium in the voice and Kenny shrunk even more in his anyhow small size under the team leader's sharp glare.

Tala glanced at his friend in worry, knowing exactly why Kai reacted like this. He only hoped the situation wouldn't escalate and to aid that purpose he reached out to take hold of Kai's forearm, tugging him to sit back down onto the couch. The furious gaze he was awarded with was repelled with a calm one, exhorting the younger teen to keep himself controlled. The Phoenix jerked his arm out of Tala's grip, huffing scornfully but forcing his fuming fury back.

"I agree with Kai, we can't just turn it down. After all, Biovolt's endangering the whole world. Once again." Ray's voice was incisive as he spoke the last sentence with a distinct trail of bitterness. He could reconstruct what Kai was saying, though Kenny's argument was grounded as well.

"This is exactly why I wanted to talk to you. Listen, boys, I won't force any of you to get onto that plane tomorrow at ten in the morning and go to Russia, I do not have the right to. It's your decision alone." The chubby man became serious like one could rarely ever see him.

He knew he was requesting a lot by asking the teenagers to accept the challenge, having never thought that Beyblade as the sport it was could once develop into something this dangerous. He had never wanted for it to degenerate into something like this. He had only wanted to make kids happy with this sport, to enthral and encourage them with it, to bring them together and unite the willing in something that could bless you with so many friends and so much fun. Just how could things get out of hand like this?

"You can count on me, Mr. D! I for sure won't let Biovolt do as they please!" Tyson's voice was confident and unfaltering as always, whenever something important stood on the line. His fawn eyes shone with determination, the dynamical answer being so very him.

"On me as well. After all, someone's gotta watch out for Ty." With a smile on his freckled features Max patted his friend's shoulder who just pouted playfully.

"I'm in on it, too." Ray nodded. They were a team and he did not have in mind to forsake his comrades.

With a staunch sigh Kenny finally clapped his laptop shut. "I'm coming with you, too. Perhaps I'll manage to come up with something to improve your Blades and tactics overnight."

"I'm very happy to hear this, boys. Kai, what about you?" Mr. Dickenson turned to the young Phoenix, knowing how ridiculously much he was asking of Kai this time and wishing he didn't have to. But... the Bladebreakers needed Kai; they weren't a team without him anymore.

"Do I even have a choice?" The double-haired teen asked bitterly, standing up abruptly. With a few harsh, swift steps he arrived by the room door and jerked it open. A blink of an eye later, he was gone, the piece of wood slammed shut behind him.

Tyson wanted to rise up his seat as well and track him yet Tala's hand placing itself atop his shoulder stopped him in that action while the redhead himself stood up. To the Dragon's questioning gaze he simply shook his head and Tyson understood. He nodded, watching the Wolf leave the hotel room as well.

"Do you think he'll accompany us?" Max asked quietly into the hush, doubtlessly referring to Kai.

"I don't know... but I really hope for it." Was Ray's response, the amber-hued eyes contemplatively looking out of the window. He respected Kai and he would also respect whatever decision the young half-Russian would make, albeit he was aware that managing this thing without the Phoenix would be a far more difficult task to accomplish.

Tyson kept silent, staring onto his hands. _Do I even have a choice? _Kai's words echoed in his head, making him frown in sorrow and compassion both. "It's his decision. His and his alone." He finally said quietly, directed at no one in particular.

xXx

Soundlessly opening the door to Kai's hotel room, Tala slipped inside alike a shadow. It was deep evening and once again clouds had covered the skies, the street lamps being the only source of light. It was dark inside the room and he decided to keep it that way, spotting Kai's silhouette near the window while shutting the door.

He approached the motionless body and slightly leaned with his shoulder against the wall to the side of the window, eyes directed at the young Phoenix's face. The crimson orbs stared strictly ahead of themselves, narrowed a little. No emotions were to see on the younger boy's face, the features tautened into a mask. A mask no one knew to look through better than Tala. He could imagine what was going on within Kai right now.

"I haven't thought I had to see him again." The other spoke up suddenly, voice even and calm. Kai knew why Tala was here and he tried to keep his feelings controlled to the best he could manage. He didn't want to worry the other nor did he want to show how much it was getting under his skin. How damn painful it was to remember.

"I know. And you know that you don't have to go." The redhead said quietly. Although Kai always acted like he didn't need anyone and like he could juggle everything on his own, Tala was aware how much the younger teen hated to be alone. Kai didn't ever talk much but it never meant that he didn't need anybody to talk to.

"Tsk." A derisive smile pulled at the Phoenix's lips. "That's nonsense and you know it, Tala. Sure, earlier I'd probably be able to flout it all, but today I can't anymore. They are my team, Tala. I have no choice but to go with them. Perhaps it sounds childish but I don't want to leave them in the lurch... nor do I want to fail them..." Kai meant it sincere.

A lot had changed since he had joined the Bladebreakers; he himself had changed as well. Never had he thought he'd once have a team that would mean something to him. He had never had friends alright but he'd always been loyal to those he accepted as such. Before Tala, there had been no friends. But now, the Bladebreakers were, and Tala... he was so much more than just a friend. Yet with Biovolt on their heels again Kai couldn't spare any time to think about any approaches on the matter concerning the older teen. And now this challenge... It seemed like everything was purposefully getting in the way.

"It's not childish. It's even very mature what you are saying. Maybe it's the last time you have to face your grandpa. Someday you're gonna defeat him." Tala didn't know if the words he spoke were the right ones. In such situations there was little encouraging to be said but everything was better than to keep silent.

"I don't know. I just can't... I have the feeling he's just making fun of me; like I'm not strong enough." Kai's voice died down, coming alive only to finish in a wistful whisper: "In such moments, I wished my parents were still alive..." He'd never been able to forget. Had never been able to repress.

The warmth and the love of his mother, her tender smile – it was engraved too deeply in his heart. He had been torn right out of the middle of his happy, fulfilled life when that accident took away everything he'd held dear. He still couldn't forget... He'd never be able to forget. Just like he couldn't forget the feeling of being close to his mother, her presence a never-fading trace in his memory, his heart, hidden deep within and covered by many cuts and scars which tried to hide it even from himself but never succeeded. She had always been there and she always would. When being alone, he often thought about her. To find himself in her loving, cradling arms just one more time... to see her beautiful, gentle smile just one more time... just one more time... one more time...

His arms released their crossed posture over his chest and came to hang limply to his sides, eyes desperately clenching shut as the awoken agony ripped and shredded away at his inside. He heard how Tala pushed himself away from the wall and a short while after he felt the young Wolf coming to stand behind him, a pair of strong arms rounding his torso and the barely perceptible weight of Tala's chin coming to rest atop his shoulder.

"I miss her so, Tala..." Kai whispered in a choked voice, leaning back, further into the soothing embrace that was the only hold up now. The only strength he had left as the sorrow flared up again, as the pain came flooding back with renewed power.

He saw his mother's dear face oh so clearly, but no matter how desperately he yearned for it he couldn't reach her anymore. Never again. He would see her never again. Never again would she smile at him, never again would she wrap him in her arms, never again would she say she loved him. He was not crying because it simply made no sense anymore, it was useless to cry because it would not bring her back. He just let the pain and grief wash over him in giant waves banning all feelings and thoughts for a moment.

"I know, Kai. I know." Gently but firmly Tala pressed the Phoenix closer and became quiet while Kai suffered in silence.

There was nothing he could do but offer what little comfort he could provide. He could never be able to erase that pain which crushed the stoic boy in his arms so cruelly right now but he would never leave him alone with it either. Somewhere, he was glad for having never known the own parents. He had never had a mother and he connected nothing with that word, no feelings, no thoughts – it were just letters without meaning to him. To not know one's parents was still better than to lose them. He had grown up without them and he had never known how it was to have a family whereas Kai... he'd lost everything in one small second, in one heartbeat. His home, his family, a piece of himself. Such wounds did not heal, they remained there forever and just like now they opened up then and again, starting to gush blood once more.

Neither of them could tell how long they stood there, in the silence and darkness of the room. The time didn't seem present anymore, it was insignificant. In that moment only the togetherness counted, the mutual understanding which could not be put into words.

With a soft sigh Kai opened up his eyes again, they had cleared up and now wore calmness in them. He felt Tala's head shifting atop his shoulder some as the older teen turned to look at him.

"Better now?"

"Yes. It's okay now..." The Phoenix smiled tiredly. "Thanks, Tala." He added softly then and the Wolf released the hold on him to allow him to turn around.

"Anytime. And now I suggest you lay down a little." He could easily see how gravely Kai has been affected by the brought up memories and right now, a good sleep would be the best medicine for him.

Albeit hating to be mothered Kai for once had to admit that Tala was right. He felt drained after this emotional fiasco despite the fact that it was still pretty early. Thus he nodded and made his way to the bed, simply laying down without caring about doing so dressed. He was neither in the mood nor did he had the strength to peel himself out of his clothes, eyes already closed as he felt the blanket flutter down over him, smoothly covering his exhausted figure.

Tala took a seat on the edge of the bed, gently gliding his fingers through silky strands of blue and grey. "Sleep tight."

Kai wrinkled his nose slightly. "Tala, I'm not a baby." He grumbled yet snuggled further into the covers and unseen by his closed eyes, a caring smile graced the redhead's lips.

Guarding, the Wolf sat there until Kai's breathing established an even, calm rhythm – a sign of him having fallen asleep. He was relieved that the younger boy was spared any nightmares which used to follow such gruesome and grave reminiscing, feeling anything but tired himself. So after a few more minutes of serene contemplating and careful watch over the other he stood up and left the hotel room.

It was dark in the corridor, the most of the guests already either asleep or doing something that didn't cause much racket. Tala halted after having exited and leaned back against the door behind him for a moment, shutting his eyes. Moscow, huh? So it was back to the home country for the two of them tomorrow. He liked the city itself, it was, with a few exceptions, very beautiful especially in winter and he connected many memories with it, good as well as bad ones. After all, he'd grown up in that metropolis and there he had learned everything that made him who he was today.

If it haven't been for Biovolt and the Abbey, who knew, he might have had a very happy life. He was looking forward to it on one hand, but on the other he was very worried for Kai. The return meant more for Kai than just good and bad memories. It also meant seeing his grandfather and being confronted with his past; the death of his parents first and foremost. Additionally, a fight against Biovolt under very suspicious conditions was on the list and he knew he would have to watch out damn well, not only for himself but for Kai and the rest of the Bladebreakers. He was already sure it would be more than tough, perhaps even tougher than he dared to imagine.

His attention was diverted by quiet, melodic sounds so he opened up his eyes and harked into the darkness – no doubt, melancholy and lamenting music was reaching his ears. Only now did he notice a small ray of light sneaking from underneath the door not far off from where he stood. _That's Tyson's room._ He ascertained and approached mentioned door, confirmed that the source of the music hid behind it. To his surprise, the piece of wood slid open as he pushed, the room beyond it filled with an oppressed kind of atmosphere due to the gloomy song that was being played, undisturbed in its flow by the soft noise of the door being closed again. He spotted the Dragon soon as well, lying on his stomach atop the couch.

"Tyson? What are you doing?" He asked nonchalantly and Tyson toppled from he couch as the composed voice caught him by surprise.

"Ever heard of knocking?" He complained in slight irritation and flashed the other a reproachful look, rubbing the spot he hit his head on.

"If you don't wish for undesired visitors, it would be advisable to lock the door." The Wolf lectured and sought a suiting seating space in the armchair while the younger teen turned the music off.

"How is he?" The Dragon asked, simply finding into a comfortable sitting position on the floor, leaning back against the piece of furniture he'd just plopped off of. Tala's gaze fell onto the clock – time was approaching midnight. He asked himself why Tyson wasn't in bed already.

"He's fine, don't worry. What about you?"

Tyson looked up, watching the other with question in the fawn eyes. "I'm okay. Just a bit stirred up, I guess. I tried to relax some before you gatecrashed my room." He finally answered.

Albeit the other tried not to show it, the Wolf noticed instantly that the younger boy was pretty much upset by what had happened today. Tyson was only human after all and he, too, was scared of what would come at them. He knew Biovolt well and whatever those guys were planning, he could guarantee it was nothing good neither did it lack danger or possible harm. That had been proved to him often enough already.

Tala swiftly perceived the mood of the blue-haired teen submerging into gloom even more, the usually brightly shimmering brown eyes losing their radiance in a sombre look. Granted, Tyson's method to relax wasn't one of the best ones, it only pulled him down even more.

"Say, is there a halfway decent club somewhere around here?" Another bewildered gaze acknowledged that question.

"Sure. Why?"

Tala stood up, gripping the hems of his white jacket and smoothly tugging at them to adjust the habiliment on his well-build form before aiming for the door. "We're going there. I'll show you how to relax properly." He directed his response at the Dragon.

"I don't think I'll be able to enter a club with 16 at such a time." Was Tyson's uncertain reply, supplemented by a "Neither would you, in fact." Even though Tala was eighteen, this wasn't Russia, Japan's official age of majority was still 20, also for entering clubs that sold hard liquor to their customers.

Tala just grinned smugly. "Tyson, remember this – if you're en route with me, you'll be able to enter _any_ place, _any_ time."

* * *

Feedback is always most welcomed and appreciated! Thank you for reading!

Kate, logging out ^_^


	13. Away From Me

Hi~ there everyone!

If you're a new reader, be warmly welcomed to this fiction!

In case anyone who'd been reading this story before the long break is still interested in reading on, I'm very sorry for such a long wait *bows deeply*

Just to let you know, in the past few weeks this story had been gradually re-uploaded in a fine-brushed, re-wised and re-written shape here on FFdotnet. I have started the translation from scrap, and with four years of extensive writing experience and practice on L(ive)J(ournal)dotcome now under my belt, it will very likely differ from the original version of the translation, as well as it will differ from the original German version itself.

I have written the German version while still being a young, inexperienced teenage fangirl writer (I'd still enjoyed writing it though X3) and that version already had some small inconsistencies here and there plot-wise. It started in the first chapter already, really, with Kai stating he could not remember his parents and in the last few chapters, he's speaking of how much he misses his mother and his parents' funeral/accident is mentioned. The English translation, now that I've gone over it, also had a lot of errors in the grammar and spelling as well as in the style department, especially in the first chapters. Some passages were translated rather... unluckily, too - wrongly used words and literally translated idiomatic expressions that I can imagine have been rather confusing for native speakers to read *laughs*

Basically, I have completely overhauled the entire thing, re-uploading the improved chapters' contents, and now I will be proceeding with the updates of new chapters.

Although I'm no longer a huge Beyblade fan by now, this story is still rather precious to me and cherished as my very first one that's been posted online, and I value the memories I have of writing it. So, I would want to finish it ^_^

With all this said, here's the brand-new chapter and I promise, the next one definitely won't take me years to update *laughs*

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 12**

**"Away From Me"**

I hold my breath as this life starts to take its toll  
I hide behind a smile as this perfect plan unfolds  
But oh, God, I feel I've been lied to  
Lost all faith in the things I have achieved  
And I

I've woken now to find myself  
In the shadows all of I have created  
I'm longing to be lost in you  
(away from this place I have made)  
Won't you take me away from me

Crawling through this world as disease flows through my veins  
I look into myself, but my own heart has been changed  
I can't go on like this  
I loathe all I've become

Lost in a dying world I reach for something more  
I have grown so weary of this lie I live

I've woken now to find myself  
In the shadows all of I have created  
I'm longing to be lost in you

I have woken now to find myself  
I'm lost in shadows of my own  
I'm longing to be lost in you

Away from me.

* * *

Tala hadn't lied. Tyson had no clue what he'd said to the bouncer but a while after both of them where standing in a gloomily lit bar, enshrouded in nebulous air. The music was sure loud but not to the extent of not being able to understand the own word anymore. There were few people there, a couple of guys at one of the billiard tables and three pretty, young girls at the bar so the barkeeper didn't leave the new visitors waiting for too long as they sat down onto the stools there, the young Dragon busy looking around and thus Tala's order escaped him completely. He hadn't ever been to a place like this and he was sure his grandpa would kill him come he to ever know about it.

The atmosphere was nice though – calm and relaxed. Albeit being open-minded and conversational, Tyson had still never liked too big crowds of people. Apparently them picking out this club was a good choice made, even though he didn't really have any experiences to compare to. Aside of that the bar did belong to the hotel property and had the advantage of their expenses flowing into the hotel bill. Meaning that whatever they were going to afford themselves here, would be on Mr. Dickenson to pay for at the bottom of the line. This of course bothered neither them nor the BBA Boss himself even though he surely wouldn't have approved of it if he'd know where the two of them were at right now.

"There you go." The voice of the barkeeper attracted Tyson's attention back to the counter and then to the two small glasses with crystal clear liquid standing there.

Tala just nodded in acknowledgement towards the man who'd served them and looked at the younger teen beside him, watching how the other observed his glass quite distrustfully.

"Is that what I think it is?" Tyson asked turning to the Russian and Tala only shrugged some.

"If you think it's Vodka, you're correct." With that he effortlessly downed his glass without moving a muscle in his face.

Tyson stared at the other for a moment, not really knowing what to do. The most bitter thing he'd ever drank was probably some cough syrup that didn't have any additional flavours to cover up the tart medical taste of it.

"What's wrong? Is the challenge too big this time, Mister World Champion?" The Wolf mocked with a superior grin on the lips, earning himself a glare.

"Tsk. For who – me?" The snootiness ultimately gained the upper hand and the Dragon gripped his glass. He grimaced slightly as of the sharp smell which was still pleasant in some weird kind of way. Well, you gotta try everything in life once, right? Thus he breathed in deeply once, and downed the liquid in one large gulp.

Tala couldn't keep from laughing any longer after seeing the facial expression of the younger teen whose brown eyes snapped open wide, instantly growing teary, his hand desperately knocking away at the own chest which vibrated with violent coughing. Tyson had the feeling he'd swallowed liquefied fire that had burned itself a path down his throat and rib cage into his stomach. The 40% of pure alcohol hit him in the head akin to a hammer blow, blurring his vision for a moment. It burned intensely and viciously, the bitter taste nearly forcing the tears to spill from his eyes. He couldn't believe Tala was able to drink it as though it was merely water.

And while the shorter boy was busy with regaining his composure the Wolf waved for the barkeeper again. "I'll take the same. As for my friend here, I suppose a good beer will be enough for now." The man behind the bar observed Tyson both sceptically and amusedly, nodding in agreement.

"Hey, Tyson. You alright?" The young Russian addressed the other, patting his shoulder encouragingly while mentioned person still struggled to get a grip on his coughing and wiped away at the corners of his eyes where a few tears had escaped from due to all the strenuousness.

"I... think so. How can you drink that stuff? It's plain atrocious!" The Dragon exclaimed looking up, the face hued a bright red. Even the air he breathed in seemed to be burning and he already felt a bit dizzy and very warm.

"It's all a matter of habit. But I think one is more than enough for you. Unless you want another one, of course?" An amused shimmer lay in the iceblue orbs which watched Tyson vehemently shake his head.

"No, thanks, I'll pass." He repelled while the next order arrived, another small glass for Tala and a bottle of dark beer for Tyson.

Taking a large swallow the 16-year-old came to the conclusion that after pure alcohol the beer tasted quite more pleasantly, watching with slight awe how Tala emptied his Vodka glass without battling an eye. The Wolf rose up his seat then, flexing his neck once, feeling the tension melt away from his body and mind alike. Now they were talking.

Nodding towards the billiard table, he posed a casual question: "Wanna play a round?"

Tyson shrugged. "Never played billiard before." He admitted, taking his bottle and following Tala to one of the tables.

"Doesn't matter. You don't always need to know the rules to be able to play a game for the fun's sake." That said the older teen took two cues and tossed one at the Dragon.

The reflexes already impaired by alcohol Tyson barely managed to catch the wooden stick, Tala grinning while shaking his head and arranging the spheres in a triangle form.

"It's fairly simple, you need to get the spheres into the pockets. Don't ask for rules, I don't know them either." He gave a very short explanation and placed the white sphere in the middle of the table.

"I'll let you go first." He chuckled then.

Tyson grimaced at him and put his bottle down onto the edge of the table. It didn't look all too good but at least he managed to hit the white sphere strong enough to scatter its in a triangle placed mates.

"So what is it really that pulls you down so much? I don't buy it being just the worry about Kai." The Wolf asked while observing the positions of the spheres. He didn't mean to be obtrusive, it was just a simple question the answer of which appeared to take quite a toll on Tyson.

"Don't know." The Dragon finally answered pensively and took another swallow of his beer. "I suppose I'm a bit afraid. After all, Biovolt seems to be dead serious, now more than ever. They determine the showplace, they determine the rules. I don't know if I can be so confident of victory this time." He watched one of the colourful spheres roll into one of the table's side pockets.

Tala looked up lowering his cue, scrutinizing the boy in front of him. That hadn't sounded like Tyson at all. The young Dragon had always been self-assured no matter how bad things looked, although the fear he spoke of was well known to Tala. Fearing the leap into the dark was common for everyone, but he had never noticed that about Tyson until now. All that time through, he had rather been the one to take that fear from others.

"It's okay to be afraid, Tyson. Maybe you wouldn't want to believe that but I, too, am afraid of various things at times." Another sphere hit the elevated edge of the table, stilling there and Tala stepped away from it a bit, Tyson putting his drink down and observing the position of the spheres.

"You're right, I don't believe that. I mean, you and afraid – that just doesn't fit together." The blue-haired teen agreed, surprised. He really had never thought that Tala could be afraid of anything, the Russian always appeared so calm and unperturbed, almost spiteful, no matter how glum the circumstances looked. You could rarely notice any stirring of emotions from him, especially in extreme situations. Were really none there or was he just that good at concealing them?

"It's easy to err if you don't really know someone. I'm fearing right now as well – especially for Kai."

Tyson looked up from the billiard table and at Tala. The Wolf was leaning against the piece of furniture slightly, a glass with clear brown liquid, which Tyson didn't know where it had come from, in his hand. The iceblue orbs stared into same liquid contemplatively, almost sadly. He could understand well what Tala was speaking about since it was something that bothered Tyson himself greatly as well. From what he'd gathered from Tala's earlier told story, the parents of the young Phoenix had died in Moscow. It would surely be incredibly hard for Kai to face the past again.

"I know what you mean, but I think Kai's strong enough. I had always admired him for his steadfastness. Besides, you're gonna be there, too, and with your help, he'll surely be able to manage all the better."

Tala's eyes wandered in their focus, leaving the tequila and training their gaze on sincerely shimmering, even though already slightly veiled, brown orbs.

"I hope you're right. I can protect him from Biovolt, but I can't shield him from his memories." He spoke slowly. He couldn't really comprehend how it got this far that he was discussing this with Tyson but he didn't mind. It was surprisingly easy to converse with the Dragon, not the least because they seem to understand each other quite well.

"And what about you? About your memories?" Tyson asked quietly, forgetting billiard for a moment.

"Me?" A brow was raised incredulously. "I'm the last one you should worry about." The redhead laughed softly and Tyson shook his head.

"I don't think so. I know you're probably caring for Kai a lot but don't forget about yourself while at it." Tala seemed like the type of person to go all out once he set his mind on something. He had seen that drive and resolve on many occasions, not least during his own beymatches against the older teen.

"Thanks for the concern, but I can handle myself just fine. I have many memories of my home, also many good ones. Although those are without exception all thanks to Kai." Tala watched Tyson smoothly deposit a sphere into one of the pockets, chuckling to himself. One had to grand Tyson that, he was a quick learner. A glance to the almost empty beer bottle conjured another grin on the redhead's lips – yeah, a quick learner indeed.

"That friendship is what I envy you for, Tala. It's great having someone who's this close to you." The next coloured globe disappeared into a side pocket. Tyson himself was a bit astonished, especially because he felt a little drunk but apparently he was still able to play concentrated and goal-orientated.

Tala lifted a brow at the other's statement. What was he talking about? Wasn't he always the one surrounded with friends and fans? "Truth to be said, I don't quite get you. You have enough friends and family, don't you?"

"It might seem like it but you and Kai, you know each other inside out. You've been together since you were little kids whereas I... I only gained so many friends through beyblading." Tyson sounded saddened uttering that, the next sphere bouncing back from the table edge. Though he'd never ever say those he had weren't true friends, but still... His childhood as that, had been rather... lonesome.

"That's hard to believe. What about Max? I thought you were best friends?" Tala sipped his drink before preparing for his turn by eyeing the positions of the spheres and lifting his cue.

"We are. But, though it sounds weird, we rarely have conversations like this. We're having fun and fooling around most of the time." The blue-haired teen shrugged his shoulders some and was awarded with a sceptical look from the Wolf.

"But you like him?"

"Of course I do." And due to Tala's curious expression Tyson instantly rose his hands in defence. "Not the way you think about, okay? We're just friends." Max was a great guy and everything, but thinking about him _that_ way creeped the hell out of the young world champion.

Tala grinned, interest kindling within his iceblue orbs. "And is there anyone you like the way I'm thinking about?" He asked, balancing his cue in his hand. The Dragon was visibly fidgety, looking like this was a topic he hadn't conversed about openly with anyone at all. Sometimes his innocence, albeit well-hidden under all that confidence and boldness, never ceased to amaze Tala. Well, perhaps it wasn't that surprising after all, considering he still was two years younger and his well-sheltered life-style had been vastly different from Tala's own.

Chewing on his bottom lip for a moment, Tyson stared at the green surface boxed inside the billiard table. "Hilary." He finally confessed in an airy breath, taking a fair gulp of his beer right after. Actually, no one knew about it and Tyson himself pushed that fact away most of the time, as far as he was capable of. He didn't know if it was because of the alcohol or because of the easy-going atmosphere between them that it'd been so uncomplicated for him to spill it, and that to nobody else but Tala. Perhaps it'd been a bit of both.

The older teen looked at the other with honest astonishment. Hilary? That fury? Tala couldn't think of another term to describe the energetic and pretty loud girl with. He remembered having gathered she was on vacation with her parents somewhere... so was that the reasons why Tyson appeared so different? Did he miss her, maybe? Granted, she never failed to inject a lot of verve and bounce into the team. But he'd never thought...

"Now don't gawk at me like that, alright? I know she's sometimes pesky and overbearing, and sometimes I can't stand her attitude either, and we're quarrelling a lot, but still..." The blue-haired Blader faltered helplessly, not knowing how to properly word it all.

"Still you like her?" Tala aided thoughtfully and witnessed a distraught nod from the Dragon. Thereupon the redhead couldn't help but start laughing.

Tyson looked at him more than confused and blinked, not apprehending what was so funny about it.

"Jeez, Tyson, you're making it sound like it's the apocalypse. It's alright to like someone. It's even very nice that you have someone you can like in such a way." He clarified after having calmed down a little.

Seriously, did the younger teen think what he was feeling was in any way bad? Tala couldn't quite believe that. As good he was in beyblading and as much buoyancy and valour as he had in his fights – as forlorn and insecure Tyson seemed to be when things concerned matters aside of that. At heart he was a lot like a kid who didn't know to handle feelings properly. Tala wondered if the lack of parents was what did this to you, given you weren't locked up in some crazy establishment like the Abbey of course. You learned to fight your way through life, alone, but you never learnt how to handle interpersonal stuff... Like love, for example... It appeared that in that aspect, Tyson and he really did have something in common.

"You think?" The Dragon asked uncertainly, twirling the meanwhile empty bottle in his hands. He sat on the table edge since billiard had somewhat moved into the background as the conversation progressed.

"Sure. I'd suggest you talk to her when she's back." Tala took the bottle out of his hand to bring it over to the bar together with his just as empty glass and ensure supply.

"I can try, I guess..." Tyson agreed, sighing.

"Do that." And before he walked off in the set destination, Tala's hand dived into night-blue hair, ruffling it up.

"Hey! Knock it off!" The young Japanese protested, trying to bring the dishevelled strands back into proper shape. He glared at Tala in good-tempered irritation and the taller teen grinned, getting reminded of a particular someone.

"You react like Kai." He stated and Tyson's eyes mirrored amazement.

"You're doing that to Kai and you're still alive?" He asked disbelievingly whereupon Tala only smirked smugly.

xXx

"R we f'nally dere?" A fairly inebriated voice echoed in the space of the hotel hallway.

"Pipe down and stop weighing so much." Was the irked reply as Tala pushed the door to Tyson's room open.

The younger teen had his arm lying around his neck for the equilibrium's sake and Tala asked himself if he didn't overdo it a bit. _The last beer was probably too much_. He contemplated while helping Tyson into the room. Dragoon's master was hanging on him more and more since his legs were gradually failing him. In front of the brown eyes, everything was spinning and swirling at immense speed and the smallest of movements cost more strength than he was able to provide. And he felt sick. Gods, did he feel sick.

"'f everythin' continu's spinnin' like dis, I thin' Ima throw up." He addressed no one in particular.

_The last beer was definitely too much._ Tala concluded and complemented the other's still somewhat comprehensible pronunciation considering his state. With some effort he managed to switch on the light while Tyson continued complaining about the apparently persistently swirling furniture.

"I swear you're worse than Kai'd been in his first drunken stupor." The Russian finally bundled the other onto the bed and shook his head looking down at him. He himself had probably knocked back a lot more but it bothered him little albeit he was feeling slightly dazed already, too. That perception in itself was more of a pleasant than disturbing one to Tala, however.

"Kai an' drunk'n stupor?" Being in the condition he was, the younger boy still possessed an astounding intellectual grasp. The Wolf just grinned and covered that lithe figure with a blanket.

"You can ask him yourself about it later. Right now it's time-out for you, pal."

"'f it continu's like dis, Ima spen' my time-out inne bathroom..." Tyson grumbled, pulling the coverlet further over his head due to the vicious light from the lamp cutting into his oversensitive eyes even through closed eyelids. His head felt as heavy as an anvil and his stomach was rebelling impetuously against the masses of alcohol that did their laps inside it.

"Get some rest." Tala switched the lights off, opening the door.

"Night, Tala..." It sounded dully from underneath the blanket.

"Good night, Tyson." With that, the Wolf quietly closed the door and made his way back to Kai's hotel room.

Very conscious about producing as less noise as possible he slipped inside and undressed, crawling under the blanket. His eyes slid shut the instant his head touched the pillow, the alcohol beginning to unfold its full effects, bestowing upon him a pleasurable gravity and tiredness. Time was far beyond midnight and tomorrow at ten they had to be at the airport.

The body next to him stirred as Kai turned around to face him. The young Phoenix had woken up the moment he'd heard someone entering the room, wondering who it was. He had always had a light sleep and only when that someone had lain down behind him had he realized it was Tala. Really, who else? That, of course, created curiosity and he snuffled the air slightly, taking in a well-known scent.

"You smell of alcohol. What have you been doing?" He asked quietly, placing an arm underneath the own head and observing the contours of Tala's handsome face in the darkness.

"I showed Tyson how to relax properly." The Wolf answered and Kai lifted up a brow.

"You and Tyson got drunk together?" He asked incredulously. Now these were some news.

"That's putting it in harshly... but truthfully. He has potential, you know that?" Even if it was very dim in the room, Kai could perfectly imagine the grin on Tala's lips.

"Potential to do what? Become your boozing companion?" His voice sounded amused. He did not want to imagine how Tyson must be feeling right now, remembering his first drunken stupor very well. With and because of Tala, of course.

"Maybe. Since you quit the service." Tala laughed. It was just a joke, of course. Tala rarely allowed himself to run riot, today was no exception – he might be a little mellow, but he was far from drunk. Though it was true that Kai himself hardly ever drank since that one evening. Tala thought it was a pity, but it was okay.

"And just whose fault was that?" A huffed out counter-question.

"What? Couldn't have possibly been mine, could it?" Tala asked in deceptive innocence, eliciting Kai to roll his eyes and sigh. The older teen could tell him what he wanted, but he _was_ drunk if only a little.

"No, of course it couldn't possibly have been your fault, Tala. Your slate is as clean as that of an angel in a white raiment." He responded sarcastically and soon felt Tala's arm curling around his waist to pull him in closer until his head was pillowed atop that steadily heaving chest.

"I wouldn't ever wear something like that." Statement made, Tala pressed the younger boy more firmly to himself, pulling the blanket higher over them both, covering up those slender but stoic shoulders. How long had it been since they'd lain together like this...? Years and years and years, but the feel of it was still so very familiar and trusting. Back then, being mere kids, it had been one of the very few pieces of comfort they'd had. Each other.

Kai just chuckled softly knowing it was absolutely pointless to argue with the other right now, simply closing his eyes and listening to Tala's calm heartbeat instead. He was warm, cosy and feeling safe and protected, what more was there required for a wonderfully peaceful sleep? Nothing, and that was exactly why sleepiness quickly seized his consciousness, nudging it towards a slumber and making him snuggle up to Tala a bit more. Like back then... Only with Tala could he feel this comfortable and at ease, wishing time would simply freeze and let this moment last forever. He wished there would be no yesterday, no tomorrow, no today. Just this moment, for the rest of time. He perceived Tala's calming hand stroking absentmindedly through his double-coloured hair, the simple gesture so very alleviating and soothing. Yes, time could stand still now. He would have no objections to it at all.

For that one moment, everything else faded into the background – tomorrow's flight, the imminent encounter with Biovolt and his grandfather, the thoughts about his parents... simply everything. Only Tala's heartbeat, his warmth and his gentle touches were all he knew right now. And it was all he needed to drift off into a serene, tranquil sleep, safeguarded from any cold, dark nightmares.

* * *

So far so good~ I hope you enjoyed reading and reviews are, as always, love =3

I'll see you next chapter, then!

Kate


	14. Lies

To start off, I'd like to say thanks to the people who took the time to drop a review =3 An extra huge Thank You to ice-phoenix-94 at this point - that's what I call giving a boost of motivation! Have a bucketload of gratitude, m'dear~!

And since ice-phoenix also raised a topic that I found rather very interesting and important alike, I'd like to say something about it to the audience, as so to say *laughs* It concerned Tyson and the switch in his personality.

Personally, I think Tyson fits into that deceptive 'happy-go-lucky fool' pattern that a few other anime characters show (i.e. Ruffy from One Piece, or Goku from DBZ), sometimes you facepalm at what they say or do, but when things get down to business, you see that side of them that makes you think – "Wow. He's so damn cool." Usually happens when they battle someone, or when serious matters concern a dear friend. Then you can see all the underlying qualities that make them real great characters.

I'm not sure if it was one of the Japanese G-Revolution openings, with that one brief sequence where it shows Tyson sitting on the windowsill of his room in the middle of the night, gazing out to the sky and looking so... sad/pensive/melancholy - I think that defines his character's more... covert side very well. Maybe it's why I'm particularly fond of him, I can identify with that partly very well, being all dynamic, full of energy and zest in front of others, but when night comes and everything quiets down...

He did grow up without his parents, too, and I think such an experience definitely matures a person, and that it plays a huge role in how he presents himself to others, and how he's really feeling on the inside. I can imagine that privately, he indeed can be an entirely different person than in front of the crowd. I haven't read the manga, and just from the anime there's a lot of room for interpretation considering his (on any other) character and since this is fiction, I suppose I took the liberty to pour my own interpretations into it XD Less beyblade- and more character-focused, so to say.

Now I'm absolutely not saying the lively and clumsy part of Ty's personality is an act or a facade, sometimes it's quite charming (and sometimes quite irksome) and surely one of the reasons he's gathered so many people around him. I just think since it's so obvious in the anime, people tend to misjudge him and reduce him to those traits only.

He's the main character, and he (naturally) has a _lot_ more depth to him than just being loud or piggy or occasionally 'dumb' (though I wouldn't call it a lack of intelligence, but more of his mettle and enthusiasm intervening with his common sense, which is another rather interesting characteristic) and it used to annoy me every time when I saw or read stories that degraded him to a mere nuisance getting into the main pairing's path. Even more have I hated it to see that degradation ultimately degenerate into real character-_bashing_ in some fics. Then it just gets gross and hard to read altogether.

I know you don't have to _like_ him when you don't, but one can at least respect him for who he is, which is an original, well-developed, entertaining character that the creator of the anime/manga chose as the main hero for good reasons. That applies to pretty much every (of the) main character(s) in beyblade or any other anime. I for example never really liked Max but I'd still not want to make him an antagonist (at least not without a very good, proper and sensible explanation) or a verbal punching bag *laughs*

Though Kai and Tala totally are and probably always will stay my favourites, I adore lil' Ty as well, so you can expect to see him in predominantly good light in this fic x3

*lol* Sorry for rambling. I be shuttin' up now and lettin' you read.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 13**

**"Lies"**

Bound at every limb by my shackles of fear  
Sealed with lies through so many tears  
Lost from within, pursuing the end  
I fight for the chance to be lied to again

You will never be strong enough  
You will never be good enough  
You were never conceived in love  
You will not rise above

They'll never see  
I'll never be  
I'll struggle on and on to feed this hunger  
Burning deep inside of me

But through my tears breaks a blinding light  
Birthing a dawn to this endless night  
Arms outstretched, awaiting me  
An open embrace upon a bleeding tree

Rest in me and I'll comfort you  
I have lived and I died for you  
Abide in me and I vow to you  
I will never forsake you

Rest in me and I'll comfort you  
I have lived and I died for you  
Abide in me and I vow to you  
I will never forsake you

* * *

Upon opening his eyes, Kai was surprised by the brightness of daylight in the room. It seemed the sun had finally been given the opportunity to show its radiant face again after all the domination of rain and dismal grey weather. Actually, the softness of the merry sunlight was very pleasant and actually, he was too cosy to be willing to move as much as a muscle. Tala still slept the sleep of the just, one arm curled firmly around the younger teen, and Kai didn't really want to leave that embrace. He knew that the moment that protective hold would dissipate around him, everyday life would be more than eager to hit and crush him with the problems they had to face, the problems that would rob away the peace and quiet lingering so benevolently around them right now. He simply wanted to close his eyes again and stay lying just like this. Yet...

Giving off a discontented grumble he carefully wiggled free from the Wolf's grip on him and turned onto the other side. Eyes still shut, his hand felt around for the alarm clock atop the nightstand. He usually was an early bird, but today he wouldn't have minded to stay in bed some time longer. His hand bumped into the plastic coat of the desired item and he grasped it, eyelids fluttering semi-open so that the ruby-red orbs could glance at the display – it was a bit past seven in the morning. At nine they should be down in the hotel lobby to wait for the cab that would bring them to the airport.

With that, it was all over with Kai's inner peace and contentment. How badly did he wish to just turn back around, snuggle up to Tala again and go back to slumbering serenely. Yet. Always that pesky little yet. A profound, dispirited sigh escaped his chest and barely a moment later a hand touching his shoulder caused him to jump slightly.

"So upset this early in the morning?" He heard a drowsy voice echo from behind him, a small smile coming to adorn his lips.

"Morning, Tala. It's nothing, I'm just still a little tired." He assured and moved to sit up in bed. His gaze swayed from the window to the side and crossed iceblue orbs that watched him astutely even if still sweetly sleepily.

"Yeah, sure. And that's supposed to convince me?" The Wolf brought up a hand and yawned behind it, his eyes briefly glancing at the clock in Kai's hand. "It's still that early? Man, did you really have to wake me up?" He complained and Kai looked at him, baffled.

"Excuse me? I didn't wake you, you woke up all by yourself." He countered, his brows moving towards the elegantly shaped bridge of his nose in a faint frown.

"Yeah, sure. You'd be able to wake an elephant with that abysmally deep sighing." Tala replied amusedly and swung his legs out of bed, stretching himself. Kai shot him an irked glare while he started a walk towards the bathroom.

"Besides, you've grown heavier. If you'd lain on me a bit longer, I'm sure some of my ribs would've gotten cracked." Tala joked but both his grin and he himself froze on the spot as a pillow hit him in the face at full speed and with a fair amount of force.

"You're a jerk, you know that?" Kai hissed, a slight pinkish hue touching his cheeks. Sometimes the older Russian just couldn't abstain from peeving him. Although Tala's currently taken aback expression caused him to chuckle inwardly.

"You..." The redhead eyed the pillow and then the disgruntled Phoenix who nevertheless had a humorous flicker hiding in the pools of crimson. "...throw like a girl." He finished and fled into the bathroom. The door fell shut just in time before the alarm clock shattered on it – since it had been in Kai's hand anyway, it was the next best thing available to hurl in an impulse of temper.

"Jerk!" He repeated, ruby-red eyes flaming with the fire of irritation. Sometimes the Wolf caused him to hit the ceiling, and he fully suspected him to do it intentionally. However, the squabbling was a natural part of their friendship and by now it was unimaginable to be without. Tala knew well how easily Kai's temper could be set off because he knew the right buttons to push, and of course, he used every opportunity to do so.

Huffing angrily, Kai got out of bed as well, wrinkling his nose upon taking in his rumpled clothes. Never again going to bed dressed. A moment later he disappeared into the insides of the small walk-in closet and somebody chose exactly that same moment to knock at the door. Great freaking timing. Another short sequence of knocking and ultimately, their visitor pushed the door open.

"Kai? Tala?" That was Ray's voice.

The black-haired Blader cast a puzzled look around, noticing the open closet and ultimately, coming to stare at the plastic splinters scattered in front of the bathroom door. Okay, he got the thing with the closet – one of the two Russians was obviously changing attires, but... what the hell had happened to that alarm clock?

The door of the bathroom was pushed ajar and Tala's head peeked out.

"Hey, Ray." He greeted, to which Driger's master could only give a dumb nod.

"Is Kai somewhere nearby?"

"I... uhm... no. Did something happen?" The Tiger asked, confused, glancing between Tala, the open closet door and the remnants of the clock.

"Not really. Temper tantrums are a daily fare for us." Tala snickered.

"I can hear you!" Growled Kai from behind the closet door and threw the wood shut, finally finished redressing. Thereupon the redhead swiftly disappeared into the bathroom again, and crimson-hued eyes at last focused on Ray.

"Morning, Ray. What leads you here?" His usual composure and cool aura returned back to him, though he was still seething on the inside. Temper tantrums are a daily fare? Tche. Whose fault was it that those temper tantrums happened in the first place, huh? Yet, in his current condition, the Phoenix couldn't even really be mad. His wrath was just an act, any other reaction would have made Tala all the more wary than he already was. And right now, Kai was in no way ready and up for the challenge of revealing his feelings to the other.

"Morning, Kai. Mr. Dickenson wanted us to know that we'll be having breakfast at the hotel restaurant together today. That is, if you want to come, of course." The young Chinese informed. Normally, they all had breakfast on their own since the time they'd rouse out of sleep could differ vastly.

"Alright, thank you. We'll be there." Kai nodded in accreditation and after a smile given, Ray left.

Kai approached the bathroom door and, arms crossed, waited for a few moments. Then he rolled his eyes once and knocked. "Tala? I assume you caught that?" He questioned, receiving a plain: "Yeah." In response.

"Well, if you would like to have your breakfast on the pot, then you're welcome to stay there." The Phoenix gave a laugh, of course aware that the older teen was only fooling around and well... it didn't hurt to play along once in a while, did it? It distracted him from dreary thoughts.

"Can I be sure that my head won't be damaged by something heavy if I come out?" It sounded mistrustfully from the inside.

"You can."

A quiet sound of the key being turned in the lock could be heard, Tala emerging out of the room a second later, ice-hued orbs shimmering gleefully. "It's such a pity about the alarm clock." He contemplated out loud, which earned him a disfavouring scoff from Kai.

"Yes, totally. And now get your clothes on and let us go."

"Do you always have to rush so much? It's only half past seven." The older boy grumbled querulously. Kai and his punctuality. The most amazing thing was, there hadn't even been an exact point in time named and the Phoenix was presenting it as if they were already running late.

"Fine, I'm gonna go ahead, then. I assume you'll be able to find there without me?" Kai made his way to the room door, pushing down the handle.

"Yes, _Mom_. I'm a big boy already, I promise I won't get lost." The Wolf replied sarcastically, crossing his arms in front of his chest which caused Kai to roll his eyes yet again.

"Whatever. Don't dilly-dally too much." With that, he exited, followed by an affronted "Pfft." On Tala's part.

_Me and dilly-dallying..._ Alright, maybe it was a bit –but only a bit!- true that Tala took his time with things then and again. He never was tha~t particular about time designations. But hey, he had Kai for that, who sometimes served a living day planer, always there to remind him about important dates and appointments. At least, that's how it had always used to be and it seemed it hadn't changed today either.

Mentioned 'day planer' was making it down the hotel hallway, soon spotting a rather pitiable presence sitting on the third last stair of the staircase leading down. A woman of the service staff passing him by came in handy and Kai stopped her by addressing the young female. "Excuse me, Miss."

When she turned his attention to him, a polite smile on her lips, he continued with a request. "Could you please bring a glass of tomato juice around?"

"Of course. Just a moment, please." With a small bow at him, she soon proceeded down the flights of stairs. On contrary to her, Kai stopped next to the poor creature huddled there, and eased himself into a seat next to them.

"Well? Recovering from your little trip with Tala?" He asked amusedly and same poor creature, who actually turned out to be a very pale-looking Tyson, gazed at him, wretched.

"I guess you could say that..." He said quietly and woefully alike. He felt awful, oh so awful, and that was a major understatement. His stomach was still vigorously rebelling and his headache made him wish somebody would taka a sledgehammer and knock him out. He didn't look much better either, and all strength seemed to have vaporized to somewhere. He had actually intended to go to the hotel restaurant that was their meeting spot today but on his way there, his non-existent strength left him completely. _I swear, never again, alcohol. I vow I will never drink that much ever again. _He kept repeating to himself.

Kai observed his team mate with a certain degree of amusement as well as with a bit of compassion. Yes, such a hangover was quite a nasty thing. Especially if Tala was the perpetrator.

Tyson closed his eyes with a deep sigh of misery, and leaned his head against the wall. Man, did he feel awful. Oh so awful.

"There you go, Sir." A warm female voice caused him to lift his gaze, watching a woman in a housemaid dress hand a glass of red liquid to Kai. The Phoenix took it with a thankful nod and after she was gone, he held same glass out to his suffering team comrade.

The befogged fawn eyes narrowed some as the young Dragon eyed the offered drink suspiciously. "What is that?"

"Tomato juice. It'll help with the nausea. And whether you believe it or not, the stuff works better than any aspirin." Kai replied with a slight grin due to the stupefied expression on the other's face.

Tyson continued to observe the red substance with doubt for a moment longer, but reckoned that it really couldn't get any worse anymore. If Kai said it worked, then there must be truth to it. Even though he'd never heard of this method to deal with a hangover, he'd be willing to try anything out right now just to get rid of all those horrible perceptions. Thus, he accepted the glass from Kai and took several swallows. Well, it certainly didn't taste bad at all.

"Hey, Kai." He addressed his team leader then.

"Hm?" Ruby-red eyes focused on him questioningly.

"Is it true that you've already had a drunken stupor, too?"

Kai laughed out softly. "I sure have." Ah, and what a gruesome one it'd been, or rather, the consequences of it. The moments of being completely and utterly drunk themselves weren't bad at all, but the aftermaths... Oh, those evil aftermaths. The reason it had remained his one and only drunken stupor altogether.

"How old have you been?" Tyson emptied his glass, and either it was some sort of placebo effect or the juice was showing upshot indeed – the nausea watered down and he could think more clearly again.

Kai knitted his brows slightly, trying to remember. "Twelve or thirteen, I think."

The Dragon's eyes widened in stun, his mouth popping open some. That young? He'd always known the young Russian's life had been a harsh one, but that redefined _harsh _on quite a new level. He'd always respected and admired Kai for how strong he was, the things he'd been through truly had to be horrible. No wonder he appeared so much more mature and experienced than his age.

"Oi, what's happening here, eh? A gathering of anonymous alcoholics?" A humoured voice resounded over their heads. Tala, standing a stair above the two sitting figures, was gazing down at them, a wide grin on his lips.

"Well, then you're certainly dead right here." Kai answered, rising up to his feet.

The tomato juice had obviously really worked its magic and Tyson found it remotely easy to find back onto his own two as well. The nausea was still present but by far not as vividly anymore, and the headache had ceased from crushing his skull, too. All that even allowed him to glare at Tala reproachfully.

"What's up, Tyson? Got out on the wrong side of bed today?" The Wolf mocked, appearing as though he didn't have the slightest of ideas about the reason for the youngest amidst them being in such a pitiful state.

"You're the one to talk. Not everybody has as high of an alcohol tolerance as you." The young Dragon retorted crossly.

"Well, at least you've got to relax properly yesterday, didn't you?" Tala countered, snickering.

"You mean he's got to get boozed properly yesterday." Kai interjected sceptically. Tala was in a good mood, he was in a good mood and even though a little out of shape, Tyson was in a good mood as well. At least the start of this day seemed to be a good one.

"Is there a difference?" The older Russian rose an eyebrow at Kai, to which the Phoenix only rolled his eyes and started down the stairs.

Passing Tyson by, Tala gave him an acknowledging pat on the shoulder. "You held your own well, though." He smirked, having the other grimacing at him.

"Well, thank you very much. Not." That grumbled, Tyson followed the two older Bladers in the direction of the restaurant.

The breakfast passed off as a tranquil, companionable occasion with Tala and Kai mostly keeping quiet while amusedly observing Mr. Dickenson and Ray being worried and Max being very curious about Tyson being less chatty and looking so ropy. Point nine a.m. they piled into two cabs which carried them over to Tokyo airport where, after the troublefree check-in, they boarded the plane that should take them to Moscow.

Ahead sat Mr. Dickenson along with some men and a women from the BBA staff, a bit behind Ray, Max and Tyson had occupied a row, the latter already dozing off even before the metallic bird began its roll along the trajectory. Yet another row behind, the two Russians had settled, Tala near the window and Kai next to him, to the Phoenix's other side a young man who appeared absolutely unaware of his surroundings with relaxedly closed eyes and headphones plugged into his ears.

Watching the lights flicker by while the plane gained speed and ultimately disconnected from the ground, Tala was rolling idle thoughts inside his head. It was a strange feeling to know he was going back home, without his team but with Kai. Mentioned person was a constant presence in mind, he asked himself how the younger teen would feel, how it would affect him, how he would react, when he were forced to face his grandfather again. He was worried about Kai, and the more time passed, the stronger that worry was growing. He fervently wished he would be able to spare the other all of that... It just wasn't fair. More than anyone, Kai deserved it to be free from the clutches of his past yet it was clawing at him cruelly times and again, and every single time, Tala could see the pain it caused him mirror clearly in those crimson depths. Although Kai so very diligently and meticulously hid it under his calm and reserved demeanour, acting like it didn't bother him too much, eventually he'd hit a limit. Tala tried, the best he was capable of, to support his friend, give him some safety and security somewhere, but in the end, there was little he could really rectify. In the end, all of it had a hard emotional impact on the young half-Russian, and Tala himself could do little against it.

To cap it all, something else seemed to preoccupy the Phoenix greatly, something the redhead could neither grasp nor put a finger on. He remembered back on their conversation in the hotel room, where Kai had requested of him not to press the subject. He couldn't understand... Kai had never kept secrets from him. He would have liked to sound him out, yet right now the moment was most improper. The younger teen would soon have more than enough on his plate to cope with, there truly was no need to add another burden in there. Though he had claimed they were not yet through with that same subject, he definitely couldn't bring it up again just yet.

"Tala?"

Kai's quiet voice brought his awareness back into the here and now. He glanced to his side, meeting fiery red eyes that observed him with mild concern.

"Is everything okay?"

The Wolf had to chuckle softly. It was sweet of Kai to worry about him despite the fact that it was rather Kai himself who one should be worried about.

"Sure. Just got a bit abstracted." He replied with a gentle smile on the lips, the gaze of his iceblue orbs balanced and composed to reassure the other that there indeed was no reason for worry. Looking at Kai, he could easily tell that he was uncomfortable; the closer they came to Russia and Biovolt, the more uneasy did the Phoenix get.

"Tired?" He questioned, reaching out to ruffle up the silk of that double-coloured hair.

"Maybe." Was the distracted answer, he didn't even get into a tizzy about the older boy's sassy action that usually annoyed him so. He felt sickeningly agitated. His heart would pace up randomly, whenever he'd fleetingly imagine what and who he'd have to face in the near future. The restlessness and inner disruption drained on his strength, the incertitude of what to expect didn't exactly help it either. It was for crying out loud, the anxiety, the jumble of negative emotions, everything. A shadow of desperation shooed over his handsome features, the oppressing feelings prevailing slowly.

"Hey." Tala's hand coming to lie on his cheek caused his crimson eyes to focus back on their piercing-blue counterparts. "Everything will be okay." That smooth voice was firm and resolute speaking the words out quietly, but insistently.

Kai sighed and closed his eyes for a brief moment, leaning into the other's touch a little. "I hope you're right." He whispered and for a moment, he concentrated to summon back his poise and composure, using the warm palm on his cheek as a source of calm to draw some peace from.

"You know I'm _always_ right." A cocky response, his eyelashes fluttering apart again, his vision clearer now, a faint smile delineating on his lips as he nodded once. The hand on his cheek smoothed up, and sifted caringly through his blue and silver strands.

"Come on, take a little nap. It'll do you some good." Retrieving his hand, Tala twitched his shoulder invitingly. A non-stop flight from Tokyo to Moscow counted a bit over ten hours; plenty of time for a decent nap.

Another nod, and the younger teen pillowed his head against same shoulder, feeling the corresponding arm go around the pair of his own. The thunderstorm of feelings abated a little, even though it didn't go away completely.

"Tala... I..."

_I love you._

"...I'm very fond of you. Thank you." He murmured sincerely in semi-slumber.

The taller Blader blinked in surprise and squinted at his friend. You didn't hear those words at all often out of Kai's mouth, there were very few things, let alone people, he'd ever admit being fond of. Last time he'd heard those words from Kai, had been... good six years ago. Back then as he'd almost gotten killed on a mission.

"You're welcome, Kai." Shifting a bit deeper into the seat so that the other would have it more comfortable, Tala directed his gaze back to the window. "I'm fond of you, too." That supplementation was uttered barely above silence and unnoticed by the Wolf, an almost undetectable smile graced Kai's lips before he drifted off into a gossamer sleep.

Tala's eyes, too, eased shut, although he wasn't sleeping. No, he was merely remembering...

_The building blew up with a horrific racket of the explosion that shook the ground up in a hefty tremor. He clenched his eyes shut, very convinced that his final hour has come. The walls were crumbling all around him, giving in and sending the ceiling crashing down. A heavy chunk of it smashed into his shoulder, it cracked, blood starting to gush from the open fracture. He could barely scream out, thrown to the ground from the force of the impact, a metallic beam swishing down onto him. His eyes screwed shut tight another time, expecting to be squashed into a bloody pulp the next moment. The deafening noise all around infolded him together with the dust and whirled up soil when the entire complex collapsed._

_The hush thereafter was almost hurtful. Was he alive? Or already dead? Iceblue orbs eased open, blinking several times in a row. The massive metallic beam lay centimetres above him, stopped in its fall by two solid pieces of the crushed, sticking out groundwork. The weight of the rubble pressing down onto same beam caused it to creak portentously, signalling that it wouldn't be able to withstand that weight forever._

_The hot, pulsing pain in his shoulder forced him to groan in agony through gritted teeth, funny white dots dancing in front of his vision, yet his survival instinct was awakened by another threatening screeching from above him. He flipped over onto his stomach, crawling and inching his way in between the labyrinth of the heap of ruins he was incarcerated within, leaving a scarlet trail of vital liquid behind. He didn't know how much time had passed, slowly getting faint and nauseous from blood loss, until finally spotting clear daylight in between two huge blocks of concrete. With pain and misery, he squeezed himself through the slim crevice and into the open, and with even more pain and misery he managed to straighten up onto his feet, covered in dirt and own blood, the bright sunlight hurting in his sapphire-hued eyes. _

_"Tala!" Hearing a distressed voice, he tried to realign his sense and senses. That voice, he knew..._

_"Kai! I'm over here!" He called back and for a moment there was silence before lightweight steps approaching his direction quickly got gradually louder. Kai's silhouette came into sight prior to the younger boy running into him and almost knocking him over._

_"Tala! Thank Gods!" The young Phoenix compressed a stifled exclamation out of his chest, locking his arms in a steely grip around the redhead's neck, face buried in the crook of it. Tala perceived acutely the tremor that quacked the lithe figure tucked away against his own._

_"It's all good, Kai. I'm alright..." He attempted to sound confident, but his voice was about as weak as his entire body, his strength fading quickly._

_"I almost thought I've lost you, too... Like my parents..." The eleven- year-old Phoenix whispered fearfully, finally lifting his face to look up into pain-filled, azure eyes. "You're bleeding!" He cried out, ruby-red eyes staring shocked and appalled onto the gruesome, gashing injury._

_"It's all good, Kai." Tala repeated tiredly. "It's just a scratch... I'll live..." He managed a faint smile, watching those eyes gain a glossy shimmer to their surface. Reaching his healthy arm out, he pulled the younger boy in, firmly hugging his trembling form close. _

_"It's okay, Kai. I'll be okay..." Closing his eyes for a moment, he leaned his cheek against the mop of grey and blue hair, feeling the other claw his fingers into Tala's own, soiled attire._

_"I'm very fond of you... I can't bear the thought of losing you, Tala..." A quiet confession going muffled into his intact shoulder, causing him to fortify his embrace just that much._

_He chuckled gently, ever the strong and unperturbed attitude, all for the sake of the martyred existence in his hold. "You're not losing me, Kai." Not ever. A moment of silence before he rose his voice again. "I'm fond of you, too." A quietly added sentence, his blurry vision acknowledging the Biovolt employees in the distance, rushing their way towards them to help. _

"Dear airline passengers, we are going to land in a few minutes..." The friendly female voice sounding into the saloon out of the loudspeaker startled him out of his reminiscing. Seemed he dozed off a little while waddling through his recollections.

He didn't pay much attention to the rest of the woman's babbling about safety instructions repeated in several different languages, turning it towards the still slumbering Phoenix who obviously couldn't care less about anyone speaking out of anything. Usually, Kai had a rather light sleep, thus Tala concluded that the younger teen really had to be quite exhausted. He looked calm and peaceful as of now, and the Wolf sighed heavily in the prospect of having to wake him up. Not in the sense of it being extraordinary difficult to rouse Kai from sleep, but in the sense of not really wanting to disturb the other's likely needed rest. He would have liked to let him sleep for another while longer, but well. What had to be done, had to be done.

"Kai?" He spoke the Phoenix's name softly, brushing the back of his fingers over one smooth cheek.

The younger Blader squeezed his eyes shut more tightly for a second before the black lashes fluttered asunder, revealing from beneath their mesh a pair of ruby-coloured eyes that gazed up at Tala in their semi-opened, a bit bemused state.

"Hey. We've arrived." The redhead chuckled, keeping the thought of how adorable Kai looked to himself since he knew well the other would categorically disapprove of being described with such an adjective.

Kai sounded a discontent murmuring and sat up properly in his seat again. His neck hurt rather viciously from the long-held, cockeyed lying position he'd been maintaining, however it had been well worth it. He felt better mentally; more rested. In spite of the uneasy feeling returning rather quickly again, he now felt more properly forearmed against whatever would be coming at them.

Some minutes later they boarded off the plane, welcomed by Russian late-autumn weather. As common for the season, it was rather grey and dreary, dark cumulus towering into the skies, covering it up completely. It was sleeting, the tiny snowflakes, mingled in with raindrops, melting away instantly upon touching to objects be those living or not. It was still too warm for the white powder to assert itself. Notwithstanding that there was no wind, Kai got the chills as a black, classy car bearing the Biovolt crest drove up after they were out of the airport halls.

The passenger's door in the back was pushed open and a grey-haired man appeared, followed by Boris.

Kai felt his throat being corded up so much he could hardly breathe. His eyes were transfixed on the aged yet still stately male in his mid-fifties. Head empty of any thoughts he stared into his grandfather's cold eyes like accursedly spellbound, unable to move, to think, to feel – he had the impression of his spirit having left his body. The pain, the sorrow, the memories crashed down onto him so abruptly and brutally, they almost forced him to his knees. Breathe... he could not breathe...

"I see all of you have finally arrived."

He heard that painfully familiar voice speak, the words were horribly distorted and endlessly long-drawn-out, at least it was how he was experiencing them. Kai's hands clenched into fists, self-acting, he didn't even feel his fingers curl. So much pain... so much hatred...

_"...that a boy... strong boys don't cry..."_

Same painfully familiar, hated voice rang out in his ears in a shadow of memory. _Mother... _It echoed in his head desperately right after, pictures of a rainy, dismally grey day flickering past his burdened consciousness. A black umbrella, spanned above his head.

_"...they were just two people... no reason to cry for them..."_

_/"Mama loves you."/_

Stone-cold eyes pierced their gaze into his own. Suddenly, he saw two dark-brown coffins, and how they were slowly lowered into earth. Deeper and deeper... A thunderclap... And so much pain...

_"...they are expendable..." _

_/The screeching of brakes. "Satoru!" His mother's horrified outcry./_

_"...from now on, you no longer have parents..."_

_/"Get out of the car, Kai! Quick!"/_

_"...forget them. They are irrelevant..."_

_/"Mama!"/_

_"...your love for them is a weakness... drive it out of your heart!"_

_/"I love you, my son... But Mama cannot come with you right now..." Tear-filled, ruby-red eyes that were a perfect reflection of his own./_

_"...they probably never really loved you, anyway..."_

_/"No! Mother!"/_

_"...never loved you..."_

_/"Mother!"/_

_"...never loved..."_

_/"MOTHER!" A deafening explosion, omnivorous, blazing flames.../_

He started shivering uncontrollably. The fragments of memories and words mixed up into an agonizing, black Something that expanded within him, so hurtful he wanted to scream. _Stop it... make it stop... please... _Everything was overlapping, the surroundings lost their contours and blended together in a colourless jumble. His heart hitched, again and again and again, at each and every image flashing past his inner eye.

"Kai. It is a pleasure to see you again, grandson."

He flinched upon hearing that voice again. His crimson eyes were glazed over, he couldn't avert them from his grandfather's chaining, dark pair that seemed to swallow him up like a bottomless abyss, burning out his soul. The man stepped forward with the intention to hug his long-missed grandchild and Kai instinctively backed away, panic passing his petrified features. _Stay away from me!_ He wanted to shout, but not a syllable made it past his lips.

Voltaire never got to reach him though, a tall figure obstructing him and successfully shielding Kai from any undesired contact. Iceblue orbs flashed up warningly, displaying sheer odium in them.

"Make another step and you'll die." Tala gritted out through clenched teeth, the icy tone of his dangerously lowered voice making it unmistakably clear that he meant what he'd said quite literally. It stood out of question that he'd let that monster near the Phoenix by another inch. The young boy behind him looked horror-stricken, ruby-hued eyes disoriented and devoid of emotion. He needed to be away from here, away from his grandfather, at fucking once.

"Ah, Tala." Voltaire looked down onto the Wolf, a sickeningly gracious smile on his lips. "I should have known you would defect eventually. Maybe underestimating your and Kai's friendship was a mistake."

"Shut up." The redhead cut off, an angry fire blazing high in iceblue depths.

"Voltaire! Leave the boys in peace! What is it that you want?" Mr. Dickenson intervened at last, which rewarded him with a scornful chuckle as the head of the Biovolt Corporation turned to face him. Voltaire snapped his fingers, a signal for Boris to step forth.

"We have provided you two cars that will bring you to a hotel nearby. Tomorrow you will be picked up from there and escorted to Biovolt's private landing site. Your journey to our battle venue, Siberia, will commence there." The lavender-haired man explained, grinning maliciously.

"What?" It escaped Max in stunned reaction. Siberia? You had to be freaking kidding him...

"I would advise you to put on some warm clothes. Oh, and, Tala." Boris turned to the young Wolf still standing protectively in front of Kai. Arms crossed over his chest, he gave the man a disdainful once-over.

"What little you own, has already been stored in the hotel room. I assume we can no longer expect you to return to us." Boris continued, deprecatingly scrutinizing the ex-leader of the Demolition Boys.

"You can bet your life on it, lapdog." Tala replied with chilling composure, noting with satisfaction the hint of anger in those obnoxious eyes. Boris had always hated him for how disrespectful he was towards the man. Lapdog was one of the countless foul names Tala'd used in connection to the lavender-haired male up until this day, always showing his contempt for Boris openly and with pleasure.

"I hope you will enjoy your stay, gentlemen." Voltaire looked at his grandson one more time, but there was not a single emotion on that youthful, blue-paint graced face. He just held his head lowered and stared at the snowflakes that melted away the second they touched to the dark ground beneath their feet, feeling nothing. Everything seemed hollow, blurry, unreal.

Both Biovolt associates made their way back into their black car which drove off a moment later. Barely after it had moved from the spot, two cabs pulled in. The teenagers along with Mr. Dickenson began getting inside, the remaining four Bladebreakers still agitated and churned up. Siberia sounded like a damn dangerous place to be one on one with Biovolt at.

Turning to Kai, Tala took him by the shoulders gently. The ire and derision had long ago left his face, replaced by worry and warmth as he shook the younger Russian softly once. "Hey, Kai. Come on, let us go." He addressed him quietly, wanting to take him away from here the quickest, to somewhere calm and private so that they could talk. Of course, given that Kai even wanted to talk. Regardless, right here and right now, Tala couldn't do much.

The Phoenix remained dead silent, nevertheless pushing past Tala and slipping into the confines of the cab, stonefaced. His steps seemed mechanic, almost forced, and the hollow expression in his eyes was disturbing, if not scary. The Wolf was observing him the entire drive through, though all Kai did was sit by the window and stare out of it with a detached gaze, almost appearing like he was barely aware of his surroundings. And he wasn't, he didn't recognize anything, not the streets of his hometown, not the people around him, not even himself. Pain and vast emptiness reigned within him.

Tala had thought it would be bad, but he hadn't thought it to be this bad. He knew it would affect Kai gravely yet it seemed as though it'd cut even deeper than he could fathom. He closed his eyes for a moment, and took a deep breath. He himself hadn't stayed entirely unaffected either, however that didn't matter in the least. The only thing that mattered was just one – Kai. He prayed they would arrive at that damn hotel soon, so that he could tend to and be there for his friend. _Everything will be alright, Kai. That, I promise you._

* * *

So far so good ^_^

And yes, tomato juice really does work wonders in regard to hangovers. At least, back when I was young and foolish, it always did for me *laughs*

Feed back is love and makes the muses work faster~ =3

See you next chapter!

Kate


	15. Haunted

**Chapter 14**

**"Haunted"**

Long lost words whisper slowly to me  
Still can't find what keeps me here  
When all this time I've been so hollow inside  
I know you're still there

Watching me, wanting me  
I can feel you pull me down  
Fearing you, loving you  
I won't let you pull me down

Hunting you, I can smell you - alive  
Your heart pounding in my head

Watching me, wanting me  
I can feel you pull me down  
Saving me, raping me, watching me

Watching me, wanting me  
I can feel you pull me down  
Fearing you... loving you  
I won't let you pull me down

* * *

The drive to the hotel wasn't long, but to the warped perceptions of everybody, it appeared much longer than it really was. Upon entering, suitcases in tow, they were greeted by a solemnly looking guy.

"Here are your keys, gentlemen." He informed them, dispersing said silvery keys one for the BBA Chief and one per pair of boys, Max and Tyson, Ray and Kenny, yet before handling the last key to the two Russians, the man scrutinized Tala for a moment.

"Your belongings are already upstairs. I shall hope that is alright."

The answer was a curt nod before they ascended from ground to first floor where they separated on their ways to their rooms. Once inside, Tyson discovered it to be quite spacious, flopping down onto his back into the soft mattress and exhaling a long breath. Max followed his example, a moment of silence passing them by.

"Siberia... eh...?" The blonde pronounced pensively then, sky-hued eye focused on the ceiling above them.

"Yeah. Pretty crazy, huh? It's probably freaking cold over there." The Dragon contemplated out loud, though temperatures far below zero degrees was the least of his worries. His best friend gave an accrediting hum, another wordless moment created as each boy rolled his own thoughts about in his head.

"Say... Tyson?"

"Hmm?"

"You really think we can trust Tala?"

To that question, the nightblue-haired teen sat up in bed Indian style, stemming his hands into the covers and leaning back onto them slightly. "I trust him." He said truthfully then, watching Draciel's master scramble up into an upright position as well.

"I noticed as much. Why that?" He got it the two had fought off Bryan together, and Tyson appeared generally positively inclined towards the Wolf's presence among them. As for the reason however, he wasn't sure. The barely older teen across him, shrugged.

"Well. I was out to a bar with him the evening before the flight." He didn't blame those cerulean eyes widen in stun as Max gawked at him.

"You were out to a _bar_? With _Tala_?"

The Dragon waved off impatiently. "Yeah. Well, point is, we had a sort of... earnest conversation, right. And... He really is a good guy. Only thing he does, is worry about Kai. I believe that concern is sincere." Never mind the bond between the two Russians seemed to go quite further than just unshakable friendship, but there was no need to blare about that.

"Besides, he hates Biovolt as much as we do. He knows his way around Moscow, he's familiar with the country itself, he speaks the language." Much like Kai did and having two people who were able to play guide should it be necessary, surely didn't hurt. "Never mind he's a kick-ass Blader as well. I'm sure he'll be a great asset. And honestly, this time around, we can use all the help we can get."

Judging the meditative expression on Max's freckled countenance, he was diligently pondering what had been said. "When you put it in like that... I think I definitely see your point." You could almost believe they were lucky to have Tala join their side. Perhaps they truly were.

Tyson nodded. "I don't think we need to worry about Tala. But maybe, we should worry about Kai." A quieter addition to which Max looked at him in understanding. It hadn't escaped either of them how shaken up the young Phoenix had seemed after the encounter with his grandfather.

"Maybe. But, you know, it's Kai. He'll manage." The blonde sounded confidently, giving off a soft laugh then. "And even if he should have trouble with that, I bet asking us for support will be his absolutely last resort."

Perhaps a sad truth, but a truth nonetheless. All of them knew well how much their team leader hated showing any weakness; even if he were to be falling apart he'd first make his way out of sight before collapsing. His strength and pride were admirable, and at times, a bit infuriating. However, it was simply the way Kai was, and in the end, they wouldn't want to have him any different.

"Well. He has Tala for that now." Tyson chuckled, ignoring the quizzical expression on his friend's face and tilted his torso to plop backwards into the bed again.

A wall away, apt fingers were flying nimbly over the keyboard of a laptop, by large goggles covered eyes observing the graphics and statistics on the screen. On the small table nearby, a grey blade lay, pieced apart into its components. "When I'm done, Driger should have a good boost to his speed and his power. His defence is yet mediocre, but I'm sure I can find a way to raise it some, too."

Lifting his gaze from the Bitchip he held caringly in his palm, Ray looked at the team genius with a grateful smile slightly exposing the pointy tip of his sharp canine. "Thanks, Kenny."

Sighing gravely, the younger boy drew a hand through his short, chestnut hair and stopped hitting away at Dizzy for a moment. "I only hope it will make a difference. I can reinforce the blades of you guys, but I doubt it will be of any good if Biovolt starts pulling some nasty tricks again. Those scoundrels don't know how to fight fair."

The Tiger furrowed his brows some, nodding shortly. "True. But it's not the first time we're facing them, I think expecting it will make it easier to handle it should they really do something excessive." Knowing something, equalled being half-prepared to it. There wouldn't be as much shock and confusion value in it anymore.

"Well, Ray, that would depend on _how_ excessive they are going to get." Dizzy piped in, causing the young Chinese to laugh out softly.

"Way too be heartening and hopeful, Dizzy." Although, he did admit she had a point. There was no telling how far Biovolt would go, just as there was no surety about their real motives. Building a huge energy bomb out of Bitbeasts... what for?

"I was just being realistic." The electronic woman defended herself.

"How about you just pipe down, then." Kenny stated sourly, another smile making it across Ray's features as he listened to the two submerging into a little banter.

Amber eyes swayed their placid gaze towards his palm again, second hand brought up to caress fingertips along Driger's image on the Bitchip. He guessed all of them would just have to rely on their skills, on each other, and on themselves to turn this whole thing around.

Yet another wall further, Tala had entered after letting Kai proceed inside first, closing the door again and approaching the bed on the edge of which the Phoenix had taken a seat. He eased down onto the piece of furniture as well, next to the other although he couldn't see that face due to the younger Russian keeping his head lowered.

"Kai? You okay?" He asked quietly, knowing how stupid the question actually was. It was obvious anyhow that nothing was okay at all, but he had to pick a start in some way.

Kai seemed to not have heard the question. Sunk into the emptiness of his self, he stared at his hands that lay idly in his lap. Moving one appendage, he traced a path over the back of the other one with its digits – from the tip of the index finger to the wrist. He couldn't feel the own touch. He couldn't feel himself. A bottomless apathy had seized him, and in sense he felt... dead. His fingers curled, driving nails into the skin they lay upon, yet there was no perception of pain. Nothing. There was nothing.

Nevertheless, he flinched slightly as a foreign hand placed itself upon his own and squeezed it gently.

"Don't." A quiet voice spoke, and his fingers unfurled again, stopped in their doing of destroying his own skin. Only faintly reddish indents remained on it, not deep enough to bleed yet still visible.

Lifting his head, Kai came to look at the person next to him. Iceblue orbs looked back at him full of concern, and a flicker of unsettlement. _Tala..._ It shooed through his head. Right. He wasn't alone. Tala was there. His head tilted a bit as he kept gazing at the Wolf out of impassive eyes. He felt strangely disconnected to reality, like a dead wire.

Tala, observing those empty eyes, didn't quite know what to do. Kai was in a state of strange passivity that was beginning to alarm him, that facial expression devoid of any emotion appeared like a clay mask. He wanted to shake the Phoenix awake again, out of that stupor he seemed to be caught in, wanted to see a feeling –no matter which one- move those fine features. Some sign that he lived inside; that hollow stare was unbearable.

"Kai..." He whispered helplessly, squeezing the other's hand more strongly. Those crimson depths sparkled up suddenly, a barely audible gasp toppling off Kai's lips.

The moment a stronger pressure was applied on his hand, he'd felt as though somebody had sent an electric shock into his body. Abruptly, his senses returned to him and he became aware of being in a hotel room in Moscow. Of sitting on a bed. Of Tala, and the held holding his own. Of the fact that it rained outside. That it was dim in the room. The tiniest of things became factual again, palpable, noticeable, visible. It was akin waking up from a coma, and aside the sense of reality, feelings returned to him as well.

A tremor bothered his lithe frame when the pain crashed onto him with tremendous force. That which had happened a short while ago, the encounter with his grandfather, the memories; everything flooded back in a giant diluvian threatening to swallow him up and wash him away.

Tala on his part, was momentary relieved to see those eyes fill up with emotions again: pain, hate, fear, sadness, they were so many he could hardly recognize them all. Kai's hand in his was quivering slightly as the Phoenix struggled to regain composure and inner balance again.

"How can he... how can he act as if..." His voice faltered and he shuddered upon remembering his grandfather's try to actually _hug_ him. That monster... acting as though Kai meant anything at all to him, as though he'd in any way missed him... After everything that had happened...

"Don't worry, Kai. I won't let him get close to you." Tala assured firmly, a weight falling off his own shoulders seeing Kai coming to it again. He was fighting the inner turmoil, the pain and the sorrow, and Tala had no intention to leave him alone in that uphill battle.

"He said Siberia... didn't he?" The Phoenix asked quietly, directing his sight out of the window. It still hurt, and he still felt plain devastated, but the certainty of having Tala nearby, the possibility to talk to him and the fact on not being all on his own in this gave him the strength to recompose and re-stabilize himself again. The hate for his grandfather also contributed well to rekindling his will for combat. He wouldn't let this get him down, much less would he allow it to happen because of that monster that haunted him.

"Yes." Tala nodded in confirmation, rejoicing inwardly. Kai looked better now; ruby-red eyes fired up with determination. The trembling had subsided and his posture was more relaxed, calmer. It seemed that, thankfully, Kai had mastered his personal crisis well, not that Tala had expected any less from the strong-willed teen.

"I will defeat him. No matter what he's planning. He's going to pay for all of it." Kai spoke steadily, but with a steely note of resolve to it. His eyes narrowed slightly from the odium and wrath that successfully repressed the pain. Although usually, getting angry wasn't the best of ways to cope with excruciating situations, sometimes, between it and suffering, it was the best option to take.

"But..." He abruptly turned to gaze at Tala, looking insistently into those attentive seas of iceblue. "I can't do it alone. Not without you by my side... If you hadn't been there..." He broke off. He wanted to tell Tala so much but he wasn't sure, because he didn't know if that which he was going to say, wouldn't give away too much. Between all the negative emotions, one distinct feeling began pushing up to the surface – the love. It gifted him strength but simultaneously, it plunged his heart into complete disarray again. "I..." He attempted to start again, yet was hushed by an index finger gently pressing to his lips.

"It's okay. You don't have to say anything. I'm always there when you need me, you know that. We're friends, aren't we?" The Wolf spoke with a smile, retrieving his hand, oblivious to just how much he'd hurt and upset Kai with his statement.

"Yes... We're friends." The younger Russian nodded, his intention shattering into smithereens. He couldn't say it, the fear to lose Tala forever was too huge. And especially right now, he needed the other more than ever. If Tala turned away from him now... he wouldn't survive that. Confessions could wait for later... Just how much later, he couldn't predict. Regardless, until then, he would have to put up with that pulsing, painful ache within.

Although he didn't let any of it show, he suddenly felt miserable again. The feelings overturned once more, the hate ruled out by despair. How? How could he break it to the other without losing him? How could he be certain Tala wouldn't tell him to go to hell if he confessed? The emotional pandemonium was slowly becoming too much. Everything was so damn complicated and intricate and no solution seemed to be perfect. It was for crying out loud.

"Kai? What's wrong?" The Wolf of course didn't miss the mood switch of the younger teen. There it was again, that nagging feeling that Kai was hiding something. That he wasn't finishing his sentences. That he held something caged inside him and either didn't dare or didn't want to speak it out. Was he afraid? The question was then - what of? Tala didn't understand, and he would very much like to know.

"It's nothing. I'm... I'm just very tired... Actually... I'm totally beat." Kai answered, knowing it was a plausible thing to say. After everything that'd taken place, he really was down and out, mentally.

"Then get some rest. Come on, off to bed with you."

Kai grimaced in view of the last sentence and shot a glare at Tala who only grinned and, plunging a bold hand into double-coloured silk, ruffled up the other's hair.

"You-" The Phoenix started and yelped softly as Tala gripped him by the shoulders and decisively tilted him over into the bed.

"Yeah, yeah, I know." He waved off, pulling a blanket over the one who still pierced him with a piqued stare.

"I'm-" Kai tried to continue irately, but Tala simply pulled same blanket over his face.

"-not a baby. We already know that, too." It was hard for the older teen to not burst into a laughing fit due to a quite pissed Kai glaring daggers his direction. The material was covering his face up to the bridge of his nose and made him look more of a pouting kid than anything else.

"Sleep tight." With that he got up, awarded with a derisive huff from Kai who pulled the blanket out of his handsome, angered countenance.

He had to give Tala that – the Wolf always knew to discharge the situation between them no matter how tense it was. Even if it not seldom drove Kai up the wall, it would usually do him just as much good as it exasperated him. Those friendly badinages were an important essence of their relationship and in the end, Kai knew to value Tala's overprotectiveness. Maybe he needed that sometimes... to be treated like a child. He had had to grow up so quickly, there had never been much time for being a kid.

He sighed and closed his eyes, realizing a moment later that he once more was going to sleep dressed, also remembering that he had sworn to never do that again. Thus he got out of bed and switched his attire for a simple, black shirt. He wouldn't wanna develop a bad habit now.

Tala in the interim, disappeared into the bathroom. He finally had his stuff and an opportunity to change into his own clothes instead of having to borrow Kai's. About time. Standing under the downpour of warm shower sprays, he finally had the chance to review the happenings of today for himself as well. So... he was back home, huh? To him, the entire city was a home for he didn't have a particular one and he definitely didn't want to title the Abbey that. Hmm. Home to him was wherever Kai was, he determined for himself. Because when the Phoenix had left, Moscow had stopped being a home, too. And now... now they were back here... together. Nothing would drive them apart again, not anymore, that he vowed in silence to himself. To feel even once how it was to be without Kai, had been more than enough, he didn't want to experience that cruel sensation ever again.

_Damn his fucking grandpa. _An infuriated thought as he remembered back on the histrionics of the obnoxious old geezer. It's a pleasure to see you again, grandson, he'd said. Yeah, sure. More like – it's a pleasure to see you _suffer_ again, grandson. That arrogant, power-hungry, despicable, fake, crazy asshole. He even had had the audacity to try and hug Kai. That'd be the day! If he hadn't stopped, Tala would have probably hurt him somewhat bad without battling an eye because as he'd moved to get into the man's way, he had felt Wolborg acutely and vividly. The wolf had been present – Tala had heard his growling clearly in his ears. Biovolt's own fault for having screwed around with Tala's physique and his system, he sensed he had a far more dangerous and powerful connection with his Bitbeast than your average Blader did. Nobody knew about it, not even Kai, it was something the redhead kept to himself also because it made him feel like a goddamn freak. But he was, wasn't he... They'd made him into a freak... not just on psychical, on physical levels, too. How he hated them... all of them. The entire fucking, condemned, hellish organization.

He turned off the shower and in means of clothing, limited it to his boxers and a simple shirt since he was about to go to bed anyway. Exiting the bathroom and into the darkness of the bedroom he waited for a second to let his eyes adjust to the moonlight-graced darkness, not wanting to switch on any lights in order to not disturb the sleeping Phoenix. Once able to see the contours of the bed he made his way over to it and slipped under the blanket. Kai was already fast asleep, snuggled deep into the covers and reaching out, Tala gently sifted his fingers through the blue and silver wisps of that soft hair. He closed his eyes, and listened to the gentle breathing of the boy beside him; it both calmed and reassured him. Kai was here, he was to the greatest extent alright, and he was safe. Just that was how Tala wanted to keep him – content, unharmed, and close by. It was such a simple wish he harboured inside him, and yet it was so hard to turn into reality... He just wanted Kai to have a peaceful life, and see a smile on those unique lips.

Slowly, his consciousness clouded over with somnolent daze and ultimately, relaxation and respite cradled him in a dreamless oblivion. Tomorrow would be a hard day... but for tonight, he hoped they could have another moment of serenity without anything or anyone haunting them in their rest, before they'd have to face all the terror that was surely to come.

* * *

TBC


End file.
